Karen

Mother’s monkey mind

May 14, 2011May 14, 2011 by Karen, posted in family, Holidays, Midlife Crisis, relationships, tweens

On a recent episode of The Middle, the mom Frankie got it wrong. For mother’s day, she thought she wanted the entire day to herself, free of husband and children, to do whatever she wanted to. This was a classic episode of “be careful what you wish for” because all she managed to do that day was fix things that were broken, defrosting things that were frozen, clean things that were dirty. By the time she finally sat down on the couch with her magazine and her baked goods, the fam came home. The day was over. Frankie was bereft.

Frankie got it wrong because having the whole day off when you never have the whole day to yourself is just too overwhelming to be fully appreciated without some advance planning. She was not given enough notice and did not give the day enough forethought to do it right. I am completely familiar with this phenomenon. I routinely screw up unscheduled blocks of time that I unexpectedly have to myself because…because there are just so many things that I want to do that I don’t have the time for in everyday, workaday life!

Have the gift of an unscheduled block of time? Enter the monkey mind, and all can be lost in a heartbeat. This monkey mind mayhem can be wreaked on any special day, not just Mother’s Day. Just thinking about all of the things I want to do: read? Write? Knit? Practice a little yoga? Bake a batch of cupcakes/brownies/cookies? Work in the garden? Sometimes it becomes like diagnosing an illness: a ruling out process that takes so long that by the time an activity is decided upon the time you had in which to engage in it has passed (like what happened to Frankie).

The truth is this: when our family members are not with us, we may have a small undercurrent of worry (What are they doing? Are they safe?), or at least of distraction that gets in the way.

In the end, she got it right. She did want her family around, just (barely) within earshot and eyeshot in the next room, working on a puzzle together, getting along with each other. They had strict instructions not to talk to her or try to engage her in any way whatsoever.

She had the best couple of hours ever.

Divine Intervention

May 11, 2011 by Karen, posted in family, Midlife Crisis

One morning, as I was rushing around getting ready for my day, I finished getting dressed and then went to get my earrings. I reached into the small vintage glass Pyrex pudding dish where I keep the few pieces of jewelry that I wear most frequently, intending to get my favorites.

They were a pair of earrings that my husband gave me when we were dating. The emerald studs were chosen because a) they are my birthstone and b) they were replacing a pair I’d recently lost in his Jeep (and that’s all I have to say about that).

Anyway, I reached into the little dish and didn’t see them. I started moving the couple of other items around, thinking that they must be underneath something, but soon it was apparent that they were not in there. I looked around, thinking maybe I’d missed the dish when I went to drop them in the last time I’d worn them a few days prior, and that I’d find them right next to it, but I did not. I continued looking with more urgency, but it soon became apparent that they were not there.

I’ve had them for more than twenty years. Tears fell. I asked my son, my daughter, my husband. No one had seen them. I didn’t know where else to look. I decided to try something I’d tried when I’d lost something else recently: writing it on The Universe’s “to do” list: Return my lost earrings to me today. Then I tried to put it out of my mind, hoping that The Universe would come through for me like it had last time I’d called upon it.

So. At the end of the day they had not shown up. The next day, I thought about revising my note and thought about what I’d written: to return them to me today. Realizing that my note was still good, I decided to just leave it alone and try once again not to think about the situation. Then at 4:30Pm I suddenly became aware of a clear thought that had formed in my mind:

“Look in the container by the door where you put your keys, watch, and phone when you come home for the day.” Holding my breath, I looked in but at first didn’t see them, so I took the container over to the kitchen island and started removing the odds and ends that had collected in it…and there they were.

I WAS SO HAPPY! Well, except for the fact that I have absolutely no memory of putting them in there whatsoever, and I am forced to acknowledge the simple fact that only I could have put them there, so I even though I found my earrings, it’s clear that I am losing my mind.

Hello, mid-life.

Brave New Girls

May 9, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, friends, local fun, no fear, tweens

lighter cell phones talent show — Cell phones swaying at the talent show

The other night I went to the Talent Show at my daughter’s junior high school. The cost of $5 per person was a bit off-putting at first, but when I learned that all of the money raised was for charity (to help in Japan, Haiti, and here at home), I didn’t mind. They also held a bake sale consisting of actually appetizing-looking edibles which made the $2 per baggie of chocolate chip cookies worth it.

There were many singing acts (encompassing a predominance of Taylor Swift songs), from a capella to karaoke, some singing solo and some (the less confident?) in pairs and groups. All of them were good, and two of them were excellent. Most of the performers were girls, with a few token boys thrown in like afterthoughts. In addition to singing, other talents showcased were

Hula hooping
Magic tricks
Gymnastics
Flute playing

Initially my daughter was sitting with me but soon enough she was off giggling in the bleachers with her friends (as tweens so often are). While I was waiting for the show to start, I thought back to my own junior high days and they were nothing like what my daughter’s have been like…for which I am endlessly grateful.

These girls were mostly in the twelve to fourteen year old range and they were so talented! The flautist performed an original medley of music she wrote herself, and she played what I knew to be a quite difficult piece beautifully. When I was her age, I played a solo in our band concert: Yellowbird. A medley of original music that she wrote herself? OMG! Saying “times change” is such an understatement in this case I can barely get the words out! One of the singing acts performed a song in five-part harmony… Hel-lo? Five part harmony? And they nailed it. It was incredible to see all of these tween and barely teen-aged girls trying on all of these different talents on for size, seeing how they fit. How confident they all seemed!

Back when I was in junior high school, the audience was mostly parents and grandparents of the people performing. This audience was made up of parents and grandparents to be sure, but also many of their peers, who came to cheer them on. This was a kind, generous audience that clapped every bit as loudly for the singers who were slightly off-key as the ones who were pitch-perfect. At one point, the audience opened up their cell phones in the darkened room and swayed, holding them over their heads, like we moms and dads used to do back in the day, only with lighters!

I periodically stole glances over at my twelve-year-old daughter with her friends, watching the show, cheering and clapping; a shiny happy person among shiny happy people. My heart was full.

So, I’ll close out with a quote from (who else?) Taylor Swift from her song “Mine“, dedicated to my daughter:

“You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine.”

How to plant asparagus and potatoes (spring garden part 2)

May 7, 2011May 7, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, gardening

After the rototilling (thanks, Bill!) and the fertilizing and the leveling the soil in the raised beds with a rake was finished, we started planting. About a quarter of one of the gardens was planted with asparagus about 3 years ago, and we both love it so much we decided to expand that garden. We planted Jersey Giant, Martha Washington, and Purple Giant varieties, which were all the ones that we could find locally.

At first glance, the asparagus crown (as it’s called) is not attractive; it looked sort of like an octopus, actually. I’m not sure I would have known what to do with it, but fortunately my husband did. After removing the rubber band that bound them, it became evident that the one big octopus was actually 8 individual octopi. We teased them apart and buried them in the raised beds about 8 inches deep then covered with 2-3 inches of soil per the package instructions. The crowns are spaced 8-12 inches apart. Water ’em in. Call it a day.

The potatoes are planted in a similar manner. These at least look like what they purport themselves to be. We planted Baby Yukon Golds. My husband said the package planting instructions usually say to quarter the potatoes before burying them but since this package did not, we didn’t.

Now we have 3/4 of one 8 x 12 raised bed planted with asparagus, and 1/4 with baby Yukon golds. The books say not to harvest asparagus until it’s been growing for something like six years. This is supposed to help the plant get better established by sending the plant’s energy back into the roots (or something like that). It’s been 3 years now for our first crop, and we’re going to be brave and cut a few spears in a day or so. We’ve decided that we’re willing to risk it, especially now that we have so many more crowns in the ground! 🙂

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Rate your mate

May 2, 2011May 4, 2011 by Karen, posted in relationships

The March 2011 Cosmopolitan Magazine contains The Sex Quiz for 20-somethings to take to find out what…well, you can do that math.

I decided to design a quiz that we forty(and over)-somethings can take to gauge the viability and durability of our marriages (or other less formal but no less consuming unions).

Here are the rules: read each question, then answer a,b, or c. Go!

Looks: He’s a) drop-dead gorgeous! b) not bad to look at c) drop-dead drab, but he’s mine and I love him
Sex: He a) rocks my world! b) Sometimes he’s not too tired c) I lie back and think of England
Housework: a) He could be on the cover of Porn for Women (he’s that good)! b) He knows what a vacuum is and he’s not afraid to use it…but that’s it c) He says, “My father never did housework and neither will I!”
Parenting: a) I wish he’d been my father! b) He’s got some…issues c) He’s not even sure how many kids we have!
Hygiene: a) He could be on the cover of Men’s Health Magazine! b) He has pretty good aim… c) I have to remind him to shower; ugh!

Okay, so it’s a short quiz, but hey, women our age are short on time, aren’t we?

So, how’d you do?

Mostly a’s: OMG! Are you married to my husband?!

Mostly b’s: There’s still hope. Consider calling one of the Dr. Lauras: Schlessinger or Berman for a consult.

Mostly c’s: Be thankful that there’s no more Dating Game. Consider setting up a profile on Match.com.

What do you think of my quiz?

Bin Laden dead

May 2, 2011May 2, 2011 by Karen, posted in no fear, Someone's gotta say it

On the Channel 13 WGME News tonight they called the “Bin Laden Killed” story the story of the day, maybe even the story of the year. I’m thinking it’s the story of all times; the classic “eye for an eye…” (Matthew 5:38). Doesn’t it seem fitting that in Bin Laden’s religious (muslim) war against us, this age-old form of justice is was delivered unto him?

On the early news this morning on Channel 8 WMTW, George W. Bush’s statement was read, Bill Clinton’s speech…er statement was read, along with various and sundry other politician’s politically correct remarks. I was not quoted, but have decided to overlook the omission and offer my statement here for all to read.

“I hope that when they killed Osama Bin Laden, it really really hurt. I hope that he peed and crapped his pants. I hope that he begged for mercy, and when he saw that there was none, I hope that he cried for his mommy. Reports say that he was buried at sea. I hope that he had a lifelong fear of the ocean. I hope that they played the theme song from Jaws when they tossed him overboard. I hope that they slammed his dead corpse up against the deck (and then again against the side of the ship) a few times before they fed him to the sharks…only I hope the sharks just chewed him up and spit him back out. They don’t need that kind of evil in their stomachs.

Thank you, and God bless.”

Feel free to share my statement with anyone.

Spring garden, part 1: the herbs

May 1, 2011May 2, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, fitness, gardening, health

In honor of National Herb Week (first week of May) we’re starting to get our herb garden into shape for this year. A quick tour of the raised bed revealed a nice surprise: some of last years perennial herbs have greened up already and are looking pretty edible.

The first ones I noticed were the chives. As Stephen King says in the story “A Good Marriage” in his book Full Dark, No Stars, they are “upright and sniffin’ the air”. 🙂 Makes you want to cook something, doesn’t it?

The lemon thyme is just as beautiful, but currently is pretty flush with the ground so is not as readily visible. One of the prettiest plants in there right now is the lamb’s ears. Just one is up right now…so my husband asked me if it could hear me okay since it had only one ear…ha ha.

There were a few varieties of strawberries tucked in there last year, and I can see they are starting to send out some shoots; more shoots means more strawberries for me. Yay!

I’ve already got my annual rosemary plant waiting to go into the garden, but it’s not looking too healthy (as of this writing) so I’m hoping she hangs in there for a few more weeks on the kitchen counter.

Any of you have herb gardens? What are you growing this year?

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Addendum: Rosemary is dead. Oh well. Off to buy a new one!

Spring chicks update, week 5: Teens in transition

April 30, 2011April 30, 2011 by Karen, posted in chicks, family, friends, raising chickens, tweens

The peeps have graduated!!! They are “teenagers” now…each week in a chicken’s life roughly corresponding to 3 to 4 years in an adult’s life (in my non-expert opinion).

They are big enough to move to the transitional coop where they can see the big chickens and the big chickens can see them. This gives both populations a chance to get used to being together while allowing the teenagers to get a little bigger, enabling them to hold their own when they are assimilated into the larger population in the main coop.

We usually start this transitioning when the chicks get to be about 5-6 weeks old, but how big they’ve gotten, how strong they seem, how (awful) the weather is…all these things are considered when we are timing the move.

They are currently eating up a storm. Bright and active, they are still somewhat skittish as they adjust to their new digs. My son commented that he thought that his batch of chicks was friendlier overall than prior ones; they tolerated our picking them up without much fuss. This comes in handy when friends come to visit and want to hold a chick.

We have about 19 teenagers at the moment (well, 20 counting my son, who will not be one for much longer either, come to think of it), and as they get older we are learning that the breeds may turn out not to be what we ordered. Determining the sex of a chick is not an exact science, and some vendors are better at it than others. The White Leghorns (might be White Rocks) and the Light Orpingtons (might be Buff Orpingtons) are in question at the moment, but as is true with most things, time will tell.

They should be off the heat lamp by next week. For now, they are adjusting well to their Brave New World.

🙂

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Cakewalk in the cube

April 28, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, baking, friends, Life in the cube

Amazing cake baked by Kathy Cyr! — Amazing cake baked by Kathy Cyr

The planets somehow aligned last week. That’s the only explanation that I can come up with for this phenomenon that occurred at my place of employment. Are we a restaurant? A cafe? A bakery? No. We are an office full of nurses.

Yet we had 4 (count ’em) cakes to share during the work week. Birthdays, comings and goings, TGIF days…any of these are good enough reasons to let ’em eat cake. Some are store-bought, some are baked by colleagues…and we have some amazing bakers where I work.

The one in this picture was baked by Kathy (a fellow nurse) and this is just a small sample of the wonderful treats she bakes for us (which include breads, cookies, and whoopie pies, to name just a few things in addition to the cakes!). One bite of this cake and you completely forget that you are eight hours into your ten hour shift, your fourth one that week. Yep; those are raspberries in the midst of all that chocolate.

The next cake we had was this lovely chocolate cake with vanilla frosting from the Wild Oates Bakery in Brunswick. Shirley bought this cake for Pauline to celebrate her birthday this week. It was the best birthday at work ever!

We also had two other supermarket variety purchased cakes, one (you guessed it) chocolate with vanilla frosting and the other (sorry, didn’t get a picture of this one) was marble with vanilla frosting. We were inundated with cakes! Both of these were very good, but were eclipsed by Kathy’s homemade one and the Wild Oates bakery cake. Really though, it was a win-win situation for us all. Well, except for the people who avoid gluten. Sorry guys.

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Post Easter Post

April 26, 2011April 27, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, Holidays, tweens

Easter is one of my favorite holidays, having somehow escaped the drama and bad memories with which many of the other major holidays are fraught for me.

Although the bunny is now known to be Mom and Dad by both kids, we continue the traditions that we started when they were little. We fill a basket (or receptacle of some sort) for each one and have an egg hunt. In the leaner years we used chocolate pirate coins to fill the plastic eggs for the hunt, otherwise we filled them with cash.

In the baskets? Candy, of course, gum, Tic Tacs, beef jerky (for the boy), lip gloss (for the girl), gift cards…things like that. What was not in the baskets? The dreaded plastic Easter grass, banned after the year that Dad was still finding it in various household crevices in December. 🙂

We were lucky to have a nice day weather-wise: sunny and in the low 70’s. The day before and after Easter it snowed! We had dinner with family, got to visit Dad at work and bring him some dinner, and still got home early enough for a normal bedtime for the tween (it was, after all, a “school night”).

Hope you all had a nice day too!