Category: no fear

A simple daily practice

by Karen, posted in health, no fear, writing

I learned this daily practice from a webinar that Bob Proctor gave recently.

This is my interpretation of the process:

*Write down 10 things for which you are grateful.

*Send loving-kindess to 3 people who feel challenging to you.

*Sit for 5 minutes and ask for guidance for the day.

That’s it.

I decided to use a special journal/notebook that I had already, hoping that seeing it every day will remind me to do it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this practice. Do you think you will try it? I am on Day 3 so far and I am enjoying it very much. It doesn’t feel burdensome, as some other daily practices I’ve tried in the past have.

 

The BRAVE Interview #21 April 2018: Stormie Grace

by Karen, posted in Being BRAVE, Catching women being brave, Clarity, no fear, relationships, The BRAVE Interviews

Welcome to this month’s interview with Stormie Grace!

Being Brave…

Hello everyone I am Astrologer Stormie Grace! …….really what I am is just a human! That comes with its pretty standard fears, insecurities, Delights, Mysteries, and all else that encompasses The Human Experience pause. The two qualities I’ve been invited to talk to you about today from my experience are fear and bravery.

No matter how it presents itself, fear always has this low-level vibration telling me I am somehow not enough as I am, and God forbid I get any different because then I’ll definitely be not enough.

If you know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about, but really, in my experience what Fear actually is actually is the thief that robs me from my life. It should absolutely be classified with stealing, yeah, because it robs me of the moments I could be experiencing how enough I am! And how much Beauty there is in the enough to notice.

And while that’s all wonderfully philosophical, I was in fear! It left the zone of fun for me and became a pure hiding mechanism that was fear. I wish you could guess what it was? My hair! For years and years I have enjoyed the playful decorating of my head with many different hairstyles, from wigs and weaves to braids and crochets! It is in my very nature to enjoy decorating beautifying and making things look and feel absolutely luxurious, so of course my hair was going to fall into this as well!

However outside of the beautification process, I crossed a fine line and I didn’t even know I had crossed it.

I left the space of fun and authentic expression and stepped onto the shore of fear. I stopped playing with my hair and creating beautiful designs to share with the world as an expression of my soul and simply began hiding underneath each woven state of my expression. I reached a place where my natural hair was no longer acceptable because it wasn’t long and luxurious and beautiful!

Fear allowed me to forget my enough-ness in any state!

For 5 years I invested dollar after dollar into not expressing myself, but into hiding in fear. What if someone saw my natural hair? Then they would never buy my products. They would never love me. They would never–I would never– and so on! The idea of stepping out in public without some long luxurious piece on literally made my skin crawl. I can remember a day very specifically where I had taken my wig off for the evening and was putting it away, and I only was able to take a half glance of myself in the mirror, because this natural hair was just not acceptable in its unruly State not trundling down my back, waving like Rapunzel to my sweet prince to come and save me! It was solid fear! And this continued for years!

And as juicy and tragic as that sounds, especially because it’s real life, this is actually where it gets good…

In this summer of 2017, the universe saw fit to bring me together with a man who I had been friends with for many years. Except this time we came together in romance instead of just friendship! And as it goes in the beginning of our new relationship it was sex and intimacy and giggling and stroking and playing until the wee hours of the morning, but he noticed I would never let him touch my hair! And of course with this big luxurious mop up there who wouldn’t want to touch that deliciousness? And finally, I sat him down and had the conversation that black women sometimes have to have with their white boyfriends about the fact that this hair was not mine, he could not touch it, but that it was in fact a piece of me. Universe, bless this man, because he just accepted it as truth, all while looking me right in my eyes and saying I would think you are beautiful without it.

Now for whatever reason which I still cannot explain, my soul heard what my head could not wrap its head around for years.

So the next day I went into the bathroom I took the wig off, I washed and styled my natural hair, and I sat in the bathroom incredibly uncomfortable judging myself, but also beginning at a very low-level to feel whole!

See, what I know about what happened is that LOVE (NOT ROMANCE), but LOVE drew me out and allowed me to walk through the fear in safety and acceptance.

The next day, I got to step into the fear and watch it transform to bravery, but making my first set of videos that would go to the public, with my natural hair. AND I DIDN’T STOP THERE … I went to my favorite shops and restaurants and even to see my cousin the beautician (who almost died that I was in public without weave. Not because my hair isn’t gorgeous, but because she had only seen me in fear)! I figured, “Heck I might as well take this bravery show on the road!” LOL! I could not have imagined how much emotion, hope, security, individuality, and love was wrapped up in my hair, in women and their hair, and it changed me.

Being brave enough to go INTO my fear changed me! I am free!

I have since gotten into so many hair related facets that I have made new friends (get new places meet new faces type deal), and I have allowed myself to unfold as needed! Today when I wear a wig, or braids, or a wash and go, I am free to do it and express myself that way because I am no longer hiding in the open. Today I am brave, I am love, and I am free!

Sending you love to stop fear in its tracks! Don’t let it rob your life, instead, GO WHERE THE FEAR IS…BE BRAVE!!!

XOXOXO

Thank you so much for sharing your brave story with us, Stormie! Check Stormie Grace out on Facebook at Stormie Grace Astrology!

Read the other BRAVE Interviews here: The BRAVE Interviews

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR THIS SERIES ABOUT SOMETHING BRAVE YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR OWN LIFE, SEND ME AN EMAIL HERE: kmcwrites@gmail.com

The BRAVE Interview #20 March 2018: Crissy Maier

by Karen, posted in author, Being BRAVE, Catching women being brave, Interviews, no fear, The BRAVE Interviews, Travel

Here is this month’s BRAVE Interview with Crissy Maier!

  1. WHO are you? Someone who overcomes challenges. Whether it’s my cleft lip and palate, my learning disability, my struggles through the police academy, other health issues, problems at work – I’m not defined by any of them, but rather by my ability to integrate the lessons I’ve learned and to find ways to overcome the next challenge I will face.
  2. WHAT is your One Brave Thing? Sometimes I wonder if I’ve done it yet. I seem to have succeeded at everything I’ve tried, or at least not failed miserably. I might need to try something harder to really be brave. But when thinking about this question, I’m reminded of my first trip to Europe. I arrived in London, almost got lost going to my hotel even though I had step by step instructions. The next day I got on a hop on and off bus and at the stop in Trafalgar Square I wanted to get off the bus, but I was afraid of getting off the bus. In some ways it was an insignificant moment, but it’s a moment that I’ve reminded myself of many, many times. It’s a moment that inspired an entire chapter of my book.  It took a minute or two to talk myself into it, but I got off the bus at Trafalgar Square. I didn’t venture too far away from the bus stop, but I broke a barrier of fear. I traveled through Europe for two weeks before returning to London. When I did, I was a completely different person, I was taking the Tube to sites that I didn’t know how to get to and navigating the streets of London like I would the streets at home. It’s one of those rare opportunities in life when I got to see how much I had changed in a short period of time. When I’m afraid of something, I often think back to that experience.
  3. WHEN did you do it? That was in 2005
  4. WHERE did it occur? London and Europe
  5. HOW and WHY did you make it happen? The woman who stepped off the plane in London in 2005 was ready for adventure, to see the world. But she was afraid of the unknown, of getting lost. But she was more afraid of missing out, or being a “failure.” When fear holds us back, sometimes we need to break down what the fear is, and what the realistic ‘bad’ outcome is. When we think of it logically, it’s usually not nearly as bad as it seems. It’s not always easy to do, it takes time and discipline. More importantly though, I think knowing why you want to do something, and the cost of not doing it, can be enough to give you the discipline needed to overcome the fear you have. If I wasn’t committed to seeing London (in one day), then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten off the bus and found out that it’s not so scary to face your fear.

Thank you so much for sharing your brave story with us, Crissy!

Check out Crissy Maier’s book, Blue Sky Morning  

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, send me an email here: kmcwrites@gmail.com

 

Be an overcomer

by Karen, posted in Being BRAVE, Catching women being brave, Clarity, Grace, health, Music, no fear

We all have things happen to us in life. Some are wonderful. Some aren’t. It’s how we respond to adversity that makes all the difference.

 We can succumb…or we can overcome.

Most of what happens in our daily life is probably fairly benign.  It’s when the big things, the unexpected, the often unwanted things happen that test us and help us remember that we can respond or react. The choice is ours. Often, a fair amount of grace is required to help us not succumb, to support us to overcome the adversity and carry on hopefully stronger and even better than before. Even if at first we don’t realize it.

I think Mandisa captures the essence of this magnificently in her song and her video, Overcomer.

Maybe you’ve heard her song before, but if you’ve never watched the video that accompanies it, then you’re missing out. I am posting it right here below.

And here is my challenge to you:

Listen to the song and watch the video. I hope you’ll take a few minutes to do this so you can see what I mean. It’s something you will feel in your body as the music and images play out. Please watch it to the end, and then post your thoughts in the comment section below.

Kary Oberbrunner, Exposed! Behind the scenes at the Igniting Souls Conference 2017

by Karen, posted in author, Being BRAVE, books, Brave books, Catching women being brave, Clarity, education, friends, no fear, Travel, writing

Ever wonder about this Kary Oberbrunner guy?

I first met him online in a chatroom…No–wait! Kidding! I first met him online at one of the free webinars he hosted:

How to Turn a Book into a 6-Figure Business

My expectations were low.  Full disclosure: I watch a lot of free webinars. I am never motivated to buy anything at the end of them.  Anyway, the information that I got was so interesting and so in alignment with what I already knew and was currently doing (or trying to do), that I had to find out more about what this guy was teaching.  Also, I had to find out more about this guy in general.

So I did what women everywhere have been doing since the beginning of time when they needed to find out more about a guy:

I googled him.

Not one bad thing. Not one. On the entire internet.

This led to me becoming part of the Igniting Souls Tribe, which led to me going to the Igniting Souls Conference this year.

This was a much bigger deal for me.

I was taking big risks to go to this conference! 

  • I hadn’t flown alone since 1990 and had never changed planes before to get anywhere. If changing planes was required, it was a deal-breaker.
  • I would be leaving my daughter alone for a few days, and she didn’t want that.
  • Who would feed the chickens while I was away?
  • How would I get to the hotel from the airport?
  • What if I got stranded there? (I did, actually)

Yep; I was feeling the fear (nod to Susan Jeffers)

In the end, though, I did the thing I thought I could not do! (Nod to Eleanor Roosevelt)

I packed up all my fears and I went to Ohio. Alone. On the plane–two planes. No, four, counting the fights home!

In the morning before the first session of the conference started, I heard a song playing over the speakers. I could feel it inside me. This wasn’t just any song.

This was one of my favorite songs in the world:

Con Te Partiro by Andrea Bocelli.

Translation: Time to Say Goodbye. And I realized that I had done exactly that. By making this trip, I said ‘Goodbye’ to my fears and ‘Hello’ to my faith and confidence in myself. When I heard this song playing, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I was supposed to do.

So, who is this Kary guy? He’s the guy who you can’t find anyone to say anything bad about. And at the Igniting Souls Conference, there were hundreds of people saying only good things. About him. About each other. It was one of the best gatherings that I have ever been part of. Ever.
Thank you, Kary, and thank you to all the amazing members of this tribe, in which I am blessed to be included.

I am leaving you with this, my favorite version of Con Te Partiro, which Andrea Bocelli sings with Sarah Brightman. I hope you feel it, too.

Here is a slideshow of some moments from my trip and #IgnitingSoulsConference17

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The BRAVE Interview #15 October 2017: Allyson Bright

by Karen, posted in author, Being BRAVE, books, Catching women being brave, Clarity, Interviews, no fear, online courses, relationships, The BRAVE Interviews

This month, we are meeting Allyson Bright!

 

  1. WHO are you? I’m 36. An artist, a woman in love, a widow, a crafter, a teacher, and a seeker of joy. I live in Wisconsin with my boyfriend, TJ, and my Beagle, Gracie.
  1. WHAT is your One Brave Thing?  It’s hard to pick just one – honestly, it’s been a journey. I was 32 when my husband died by suicide. After that, I found that I had to face new fears and learn how to create a new life for myself.About nine months after he passed, I went away for a week by myself. I was having trouble trusting my own decisions and I knew I needed to leave my comfort zone in order to move forward. The trip was transformational and ultimately led to my decision to leave my home in Iowa and move to Wisconsin for a fresh start.  Art journaling and crafting were such a vital part of my healing process, and I really wanted to share that with others. My ultimate brave thing was to leave my day job in order to start a business teaching art classes and offering coaching services. 
  1. WHEN did you do it? I started my company, Determined to Shine, about 18 months ago. It’s been a bit of a crazy journey, to be sure. But without a doubt, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
  1. WHERE did it occur? Right here in Madison, Wisconsin.
  1. HOW did you make it happen? One step at a time! Determined to Shine has grown into so much – weekend retreats, several online workshops, and even one-on-one coaching services. Sometimes it can seem like all of that happened at once, but it’s been a gradual process. For those looking to make a career change – don’t let the size of the task overwhelm you! Pick apart each task into small chunks, and just get started.
  1. WHY did you do it? The idea for Determined to Shine had been in my mind for several years. Ultimately, I realized I was just going to have to take a leap and be willing to fail. I didn’t want to wake up in three more years and still be talking about it. Taking that leap was terrifying, and I had to build my plan along the way. But everything that’s worth anything is scary. Determined to Shine has brought so much joy into my life and the lives of others – I can’t imagine what life would be like if I hadn’t done that one brave thing. 

Thank you, Allyson, for sharing your brave story with us!

Allyson is the author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Scrapbook Projects Illustrated.

You can find Allyson’s FREE online class here: 30 days of Art Journaling. I have taken this class myself and I enjoyed it very much. I highly recommend all of Allyson’s classes. Find them all here: http://www.determinedtoshine.net/

Check out Allyson’s online book club: Get Artsy Book Club

Click here to find out more (act fast! It’s almost time for this!) about Allyson’s Determined to Shine Fall Retreat!

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your life, email me at kmcwrites@gmail.com!

BOOK REVIEW: Informed Consent: Critical Truths Essential to Your Health and to the Health of Future Generations by Michele Stanford, M.Ed., CHC

by Karen, posted in author, Being BRAVE, book reviews, books, Brave books, Catching women being brave, Clarity, health, no fear, writing

I began to read Michele’s story and as a woman, my heart was filled with compassion and empathy for her and the situation she was in. As an RN, my heart was filled with rage for how this patient was treated by her physician! Michele was not defined by her circumstances, however. Rather, she decided to educate herself and therein lay her power, and now she is offering to share her results with all of us.

One quote resonated with me very early in the book, as the author described her experience with “continual roller coaster ride courtesy of allopathic medicine,” perfectly capturing what can happen if you are not empowered with the information you need to evaluate medical information and make good, informed health care choices for yourself and your loved ones.

Many other sentences speak to my own beliefs. On page 92: “The pharmaceutical industry is not interested in your health.”  Truer words have never been spoken. Also, on page 108: “The corruption at the CDC runs deep and wide and the health of the American public is not the sole priority, or even a priority at all.”

The chapters dealing with the pharmaceutical industry and vaccines will provide you with especially valuable information.

I highly recommend this book. Buy it here: Informed Consent

Spoiler alert: Cheez-its lovers, you are about to have your heart broken. J

 

Michele Stanford, M.Ed., CHC#InformedConsentTheBook

What if Tiffany Stayed with Ezekiel?

by Karen, posted in health, no fear

I was listening to the news today, which I generally go out of my way to avoid, when I heard about an NFL player being suspended for alleged violence against his now-former girlfriend.

Good, I thought. Stop enabling domestic violence perpetrators to perpetuate violence against women by hitting them where it hurts: in their wallets.

It’s a start.

Part of the problem with keeping women safe is this: it so often deteriorates into a ‘he said, she said’ situation that casts the events in a gray area for the purposes of pressing charges.

I read the New York’s Post account of what she had to say, as well as what he had to say. Read it here: Ezekiel Elliott justified choking ex as ‘tough love’: accuser

You can also read about the NFL’s decision for suspension here: The NFL Has Suspended Ezekiel Elliott For Six Games On Domestic Violence Charges

Bottom line: I’m so glad that Tiffany didn’t stay with Ezekiel.

The outcome might have been so much worse.

I write about partner violence in my new book.

Find it here: What if Bebe Stays with Steven? 

 

Spartanized

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Adult children, author, family, fitness, health, Interviews, italian, local fun, no fear

This podcast by Jodi Flynn (Women Taking the Lead) with Joe DeSena caught my eye because 1. I love Jodi’s Podcasts and 2. My nieces and nephew just completed a Spartan Race (not the first for some of them).

My beautiful niece Megan, rocking her Spartan Race medal!

Much of the conversation really resonated with me! I was shocked, because whenever I hear about the Spartan Races, I move right along. I mean, it’s nice for some people…people who like to get all sweaty and dirty and gross. Not bookish, ‘indoorsy’ type people like me.

😀

I could completely relate to Joe’s talking about the topics of ‘concrete, (something else I can’t remember), and ravioli’ (#itsallabouthefood) in the Italian neighborhood where he grew up. That pulled me in, but when he talked about one of the strategies for success is telling everyone you know what you are going to do (“commit publicly”), that was it! I use that strategy all the time! Like, when I lost weight with Weight Watchers (Hey, everyone! I’m counting points today!) and when I write a novel every year for NaNoWriMo (Hey, everyone! I am writing 50,000 words this month!).

Now here I am, thinking about me and Spartan Races in the same thought.

Which brings to mind another thought that I have used for years to keep myself from having to be athletic: How can I do a Spartan Race? I wear glasses! They might fall off and then what would I do?!

NOTE: I have never pretended to be the ‘outdoor type’. 😀

Who am I? RESULTS!

by Karen, posted in family, He and me, health, no fear

So, the results are in! No big surprises to be found here. I am happy to know what I am made of, so to speak. I am grateful to my husband for giving me this gift. No Atlantean heritage in this mix. No Lilliputian. Just about a 50/50 split between Southern Europe (Italian) and Northwestern European (Irish/Scottish/Welsh) and a few other things thrown in.

 

Here’s what I didn’t expect: today I got an email informing me of relatives of mine that they have found. About a dozen fourth cousins. If they are fourth cousins (otherwise known as first cousins twice removed, per the email), are they really related to me?

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Like, my coworkers might be more closely related to me.

Or, the crows outside my window.

Just a thought.