Please consider being a guest blogger on Sharpen Your Knives!

This is where women can come to vent about their (past, present, maybe even future?) husbands’…idiosyncrasies.

You know what I’m talking about.

Share your stories, anonymously or not, with other like-minded individuals. Sharp stories, edgy entreaties, and amusing anecdotes are welcome.

It’s easy to be part of  Sharpen Your Knives

  1. Subscribe to SYK.
  2. Submit your story to kmcwrites@gmail.com.
  3. Remember to say whether your identity should be kept mum!

That’s it. Complete the above steps and you’re in.

The goal: hopefully by sharing our stories we’ll discover that we are in all in good company with our (minor! oh so minor!) daily frustrations and irritations…and if we dump them here, we can (hopefully) avoid dumping them on our spouses.

:)

Tell your friends!

Keep your submissions around 200-400 words if possible (but shorter pieces are also fine!). As editor, I reserve the right to edit for typos, grammar, and length.

Pen pals

I have a new pen pal! It happened like this: I got an email from a reader of one of my myriad online writings. She took a leap of faith and asked if I wanted to correspond, either via email, traditional mail, or both. She shared information about her life, her family, her country.

She is from Germany by way of Italy, and it is through my love of All Things Italian that we came in contact with each other. I was hesitant at first to say too much; after all, you don’t get to be a midlife woman in New England without hearing all sorts of stories of scammers presenting themselves as Something Other Than Who They Are.

But then a funny thing happened: I decided to take a leap of faith too. As part of my year of turning 50, I had previously decided that,when presented with an idea that appeals to me, to just go with it. No whim will be turned away. So I answered her email.

I have had other writing relationships over the years.  When I was in middle school, there was a pen pal in Korea (not sure how I became “pals” with her; probably a school project). When my friend Sheila moved many states away from me (sob!) about 22 years ago, we started writing to ease the pain. We continued, too; even though I stubbornly resisted, we eventually switched to email from legal pads and are still writing to each other nearly every day, all these years later.

Come to think of it, I have many “email pals” among my friends now. We ‘talk’ through texting, emailing, and IM’ing. Since all of us are so busy, it allows me to include my friends in my daily life, friends whom I might otherwise go long stretches of time without seeing.

Hel-lo? In the 22 years since Sheila left, we’ve seen each other in person twice, I think (forgive me if that’s wrong, Sheila, but you know how the midlife memory works–it doesn’t!).

How do you maintain friendships?

Another book to read

The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay MarriedThe Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married by Iris Krasnow
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I thought this book rocked. I was especially happy to find it when I did: at the end of my writing “How to Stay Married in Midlife” and launched the “Sharpen Your Knives” blog (http://sharpenyourknives.wordpress.com/), and not before or during that process. The book includes stories from women who have been married for a long time, and includes their strategies for having been able to stay married. Hint: some are sort of kinky. Iris sprinkles in anecdotes from her own marriage, about which I am not sure how I feel. It might have been okay if she had confined her marriage story to one chapter. Instead, she randomly sort of randomly puts in her two cents where maybe it isn’t needed. In some of the stories, the women retain their anonymity, in some they just let it all hang out. You get to hear from women who are in their 70’s and (yep) are still married. It’s really a quite hopeful, “You can do it!!” sort of a book. Definitely worth reading.

View all my reviews

Rate your mate

The March 2011 Cosmopolitan Magazine contains The Sex Quiz for 20-somethings to take to find out what…well, you can do that math.

I decided to design a quiz that we forty(and over)-somethings can take to gauge the viability and durability of our marriages (or other less formal but no less consuming unions).

Here are the rules: read each question, then answer a,b, or c. Go!

  1. Looks: He’s a) drop-dead gorgeous! b) not bad to look at c) drop-dead drab, but he’s mine and I love him
  2. Sex: He a) rocks my world! b) Sometimes he’s not too tired c) I lie back and think of England
  3. Housework: a) He could be on the cover of Porn for Women (he’s that good)! b) He knows what a vacuum is and he’s not afraid to use it…but that’s it c) He says, “My father never did housework and neither will I!”
  4. Parenting: a) I wish he’d been my father! b) He’s got some…issues c) He’s not even sure how many kids we have!
  5. Hygiene: a) He could be on the cover of Men’s Health Magazine! b) He has pretty good aim… c) I have to remind him to shower; ugh!

Okay, so it’s a short quiz, but hey, women our age are short on time, aren’t we?

So, how’d you do?

Mostly a’s: OMG! Are you married to my husband?!

Mostly b’s: There’s still hope. Consider calling one of the Dr. Lauras: Schlessinger or Berman for a consult.

Mostly c’s: Be thankful that there’s no more Dating Game. Consider setting up a profile on Match.com.

What do you think of my quiz?