Tag: sons

After the fall

by Karen, posted in family, friends, Karen's Kitchen, Midlife Crisis, the beach

I had a disaster in my kitchen today. I was lifting down some big Pyrex mixing bowls from a shelf, something I’ve done dozens and dozens of times. Something I do almost every day. I was lifting them down to put one back in the stack. As I brought the stack down to the counter, suddenly I heard a crash. I think I heard it before I realized what happened. One moment I was lowering the bowls to the counter, then next moment I had no bowls in my hands and there were millions of pieces of glass covering every inch of my kitchen counter, floor, and my feet.

I was shaking, so I just stood there for a minute while I took stock and tried to breathe. I know that cuts don’t hurt at first, so I was looking for blood to see how bad the damage was. Unbelievably, all of the cuts, and they were few, were superficial.

The damage to the Pyrex was worse: My 2 favorites bowls were broken: the large yellow and the large Amish.

I told my daughter and her friend to stay in her room. I realized my son was home so I called him. “I need help.” He said, “Give me a minute,” then came up, looked around, asked me if I was okay, then got to work. I would like to say that he helped me clean it up, but really, he cleaned it all up while I picked up shards of glass then put them back down again, still too shaken up to do much at all.

I thought of all that while I was walking on the beach later on this morning. I looked at the ocean and thought: The ocean makes everything better.

I was wrong though. After a few moments, I realized this: Family and friends make everything better.  I lost nothing. I have everything.

Easter

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, friends, Holidays, Midlife Crisis, the beach

How do you celebrate Easter? Even though my kids are older now, and the Bunny has been found out, we still celebrate the holiday in much the same way we did when they were little. I make Easter Baskets of some sort for them. I hide eggs for them to find in an Easter Egg Hunt.

Tip: to keep your older kids interested, instead of candy or colored eggs, hide plastic ones with cash in them.

We have dinner with family and friends. I over-bake when I am entrusted with bringing the dessert course and then over-eat everything put in front of me. I always make “Church Window” cookies in honor of my grandmother. She always made them for me growing up because I loved them and she loved me. I still do the Easter Egg Hunt because my father loved to do that for us when we were little and so now I do it for my kids, but also to honor my dad.

I went for a walk on the beach this morning and was thinking about how Easter was my father’s favorite holiday (I think) and St. Patrick’s Day was my mother’s favorite. I wondered what my kids think my favorite holiday is?

Spaciousness (or: A Theory of Relativity)

by Karen, posted in book reviews, books, family, friends, health, Midlife Crisis, no fear, relationships, yoga

In the book What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty, she talks about the idea of spacious days.

What a concept!!!!

Mostly, my days feel jam-packed to me, without a moment to spare for anything. That’s how I usually think about them, at least. My to-do list is longer than my arm. I suspect that other mothers feel this way as well, since today I heard my friend Donna (also a mother) say those exact words.

In yoga, spaciousness is sought in your body through postures, in your mind through meditation. I’ve been searching for spaciousness through yoga for 4 years now (I’ll let you know when I find it).

🙂

Four years seems like kind of a long time to me…but as a percentage of my age, it’s not that long really. Could it be that all I really need is an adjustment of perspective?

Back to yoga class: this week, our instructor Kristen happened to mention that there was a period of her life that she would gladly relive, which sparked a conversation among the women in the class on this topic. As some of them mentioned ages that they would be interested in repeating, I did a quick review: high school? No way! Early twenties? No thank you!  I soon realized that I couldn’t think of any time period of my life that I would want to live through again, but then I reframed the question: What was a happy memory?

When I asked myself this question, I got a very clear image in my mind. It was in the summer: August 1991. It was in the first apartment that I shared with my husband after we got married.  The sun was streaming in through the large windows in the dining room, shining on my infant son, born just a couple of weeks prior. I remember being in that room, gazing at the baby, standing in the sun, and realizing that I’d never been happier than I was at that moment. Twenty years later, I can still stand in that room in my mind’s eye, and still feel that happiness just as strongly as I did that day.

So, I guess time is relative, just ask Einstein. Or Liane Moriarty.

Or me.

🙂

Post Easter Post

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, Holidays, tweens
The baskets

Easter is one of my favorite holidays, having somehow escaped the drama and bad memories with which  many of the other major holidays are fraught  for me.

Although the bunny is now known to be Mom and Dad by both kids, we continue the traditions that we started when they were little. We fill a basket (or receptacle of some sort) for each  one and have an egg hunt. In the leaner years we used chocolate pirate coins to fill the plastic eggs for the hunt, otherwise we filled them with cash.

In the baskets? Candy, of course, gum, Tic Tacs, beef jerky (for the boy), lip gloss (for the girl), gift cards…things like that. What was not in the baskets? The dreaded plastic Easter grass, banned after the year that Dad was still finding it in various household crevices in December. 🙂

We were lucky to have a nice day weather-wise: sunny and in the low 70’s. The day before and after Easter it snowed! We had dinner with family, got to visit Dad at work and bring him some dinner, and still got home early enough for a normal bedtime for the tween (it was, after all, a “school night”).

Hope you all had a nice day too!

Snow day top 10 fun things to do (Part 2)!

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, fitness, local fun, tweens

Can you believe that we’re (possibly) getting (yet) another storm tomorrow? Just in case you exhausted your personal Top 10 list of things to do, here’s another bunch of ideas.

  1. Go sledding. By now, you (most likely) have piles of snow that are plenty big enough for the kids to sled on right in your yard.
  2. Go snowshoeing and/or  ice skating (if it’s possible to get to a rink).
  3. Have a snowball fight. Better yet, suggest it to the kids and you (mom or dad) stay safely in the house and watch from the window.
  4. Go swimming…if only to break up the monotony. Lots of hotels/inns offer off-season (read: cheap) passes you can buy to use their pool.
  5. Send them outside with their hula hoop. Really.
  6. Have a “P” picnic (not that kind of “P”! Been spending too much time with the pre-schoolers??). Pizza, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, pancakes, popcorn, pretzels, pineapple chunks…have it INDOORS. Spread out an old quilt/blanket/sheet on the living room floor (move the coffee table, or whatever ou of the way) and have your picnic supper in front of the TV for a treat.
  7. Wii Just Dance 2…this is worth the effort for mom and/or dad to get up off the couch to play.
  8. Make cocoa. This make some planning to make sure you have some in the house before it snows. Swiss Miss is good enough (per Consumer Reports), especially if  you top it off with mini-marshmallows, whipped cream, cool whip (or all of the above)…Fluff will also do the job very nicely (careful that the volume of Fluff doesn’t outstrip the portion of cocoa. 🙂 )
  9. Pretend it’s still summer. Send the kids out to play with their sand pails and shovels (or kitchen utensils and plastic Tupperware bowls) to dig (or “cook”) in the snow.
  10. Make snow angels. Take pictures for the scrapbook.

Finally: avoid keeping the TV on those news programs that just spew an endless loop of doom and gloom and have some fun instead!

One of the Best Christmases ever

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, Holidays, italian, quest for the best, tweens
Our tree!

I originally thought that this would be one of the worst Christmases ever.  It had three strikes against it before it even started:

  1. I had to work late and wouldn’t get home until 8:20PM Christmas Eve.
  2. My husband had to work early Christmas Day, leaving at 5:10 AM, and would be gone the entire day and night.
  3. My son had to work Christmas Day as well. He was home in the morning, which was nice, but then couldn’t come with us to have dinner with relatives.

We tried to make the best of it. The kids each opened a couple of gifts with Dad on Christmas Eve while I listened in from work over the phone. My husband and I had a little time to exchange our gifts Christmas Eve.

Christmas morning, after Bill went to work, I stayed up and baked some bread and then put our traditional Christmas morning breakfast (cinnamon buns) into the oven. We opened up the gifts, then got ready for our (mostly separate) day.

We stopped to see Grammy and Papa before heading to my brother’s house for Christmas dinner…which may well have been one of the Best Christmas Dinners of all time. We played Wii games between dinner and dessert, rationalizing that we’d have more room for tiramisu (was that wrong?).

Then we brought some dinner to my son and his girlfriend Lauren at work. Unfortunately, we didn’t get there until 6:30PM…oh well. The food was worth the wait! My sister-in-law Andrea is an excellent cook!

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The Chicken Whisperer

by Karen, posted in family, raising chickens
Anthony with new chick

This morning, as I was rushing around the coop, trying to let the chickens out in their run, feed them, and give them a treat before I left for work, one of the smaller ones slipped past me and got out into the garage. I wasn’t too concerned at first, hoping that she would hear the feed rattling around in the plastic scoop and just come right back in.

She didn’t.

I finished feeding the others, then I approached her but she started a combination run-fly thing and headed to the area of the garage with nooks and crannies…into which she could fit but I could not.

Let the stress begin! The closer I got to her, the closer she got to wedging herself into a small space. If chickens had thumbs, she would have been using it to thumb her beak at me. I backed off.

Happy that I had my cell phone in my pocket, I called the house phone and asked my son to help.

He walked into the garage a few minutes later where I was still standing, rooted to the spot, afraid to take my eyes off the little offender in case she hid somewhere while I wasn’t looking. I explained the situation to him, and as I did, he just walked over to her, scooped her up, and was stroking her back while I just stood there with my mouth open.

He had done in one second what I had been trying to do for five minutes, but every time I “invaded her personal (chicken-al?) space”, she moved further away from me.

I’ve decided not to take it personally. I think she let him catch her because she bonded with him a couple of days after her birth. He was the one who picked her up out of the cardboard box upon her arrival from the post office, offered her a drink, and started her on her life’s path while I stood nearby, taking pictures of it all, as moms so often do.

She has now rejoined the flock. But I’m gonna be keeping my eye on her….

New Arrivals

by Karen, posted in raising chickens

The new peeps were born last Wednesday and scheduled to arrive on Thursday, Friday the latest, through the mail. We did order from a new vendor, one we hadn’t ordered from in the past. We chose them this time because they allowed us

New arrivals

to buy 20 at a time instead of 25. They were cheap; like, half the price of the other vendors. It was also closer; they would ship from Pennsylvania, not Iowa or Texas. This had to be easier on peeps-in-transit, we reasoned.

So, as we’ve done at least a half a dozen times before, we placed our order, confident that they would arrive as scheduled. So confident, that when they did not come on Thursday, my husband went to the post office on Friday morning to get the package.

When they said they didn’t have a package for us, he listened carefully for the tell-tale “peep peep peep”, but heard nothing.

This was not good. Little peeps theoretically can live for up to 72 hours (key words here are “up to”), but they certainly also might not.

On Saturday, at 6:39am, the call came. The chicks had arrived! The news was promising: the package was “peeping”. I went to pick it up, dreading what we might find when we opened it. Both kids and I held our breath…

Well, the good news was this: all 21 chicks were living and peeping. All took a drink when coaxed. All found the food.

The bad news is this: with in 2 days, we had 6 dead bodies.  We’d never lost more than 1 0r 2 chicks right away like that. It was kind of awful. Every time one of us went out to check on them, there would be another little casualty. 😦

There are 15 chicks left, and all seem to be doing well. Hopefully the worst is past.

Needless to say, we will likely not be ordering from them again.

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A child’s “firsts”

by Karen, posted in family, good grief

I had my first child when I was 29 years old. I started back to school and back to work when he was 8 weeks old. As a full-time student and working mother, I missed a lot of my child’s “firsts”.

Certainly, I knew it was going to be a trade-off; get better educated to get better employed and to be able to give said child a better life. I reminded myself of this often; like, when my mother called excitedly to describe my son’s first time saying “Mama”, or when my or mother-in-law called to tell me how my son lost his first tooth…you know, little things like that.

Well, my son turned 19 last month. Of course, we get used to our kids not sharing with us every detail of their lives as the get older like they do (how could they avoid it?) when they are very young.

Recently, my son took his first airplane ride (well, almost his first. He did go up in a small plane with his dad and sister many years ago…but I don’t count that. Plus, there was a parent present). For this plane ride, he was with a friend, and without parent. I guess it was sort of like the first day of kindergarten (or college, for that matter); the child adapts in 5 minutes to new people and new surroundings; the parent? Not so much.

He was good about it. He offered to call every day while away on his trip, and then remembered to actually do it. We parents tried to do our part by being supportive but not stifling. It was hard. It is hard… to go to sleep at night when your whole family is not home, safe in bed. “Hello, Dad? I finally get it.”

How do you deal with your child(ren) growing up?

Signs (from the dead relatives)

by Karen, posted in family, good grief, tweens

Ever wrestle with a decision, wondering what is the right thing to do in any situation? Sometimes when that happens to me, I’ll think, “What would my mother or father do?” or “What would Nana think about this?”.

Well, the other day I was going back on forth about something, then made my decision and spent hours second- guessing myself. After a while, I thought, “I did what my mother would have done”; what she did in fact do many times during my life. I also thought of how generous and giving my grandmother was (both of them, actually, but on this day I was thinking of my dad’s mother) to me whenever I needed it, throughout my life, when I deserved it, and (often) when I didn’t.

Then I tried to stop thinking about it. A moment later, I got an email that included a recipe for my favorite soup that my grandmother used to make for me (escarole soup with little meatballs)…Nana giving her approval?  A bit later on, I opened up the American Profile magazine that came with the Portland Press Herald that day and there (0n page 12) was an article entitled “Pride for Popeye“…here’s where I admit that my father used to call me that as a nickname when I was in kindergarten. Now I’m thinking, “Two signs! This is clearly Dad saying, ‘Good job!'”

And then, that night I dreamed about my mother. She was in my house, visiting. I kept thinking, “I didn’t know my mother was going to be home today!”…

I had to laugh to myself when I woke up. The dead relatives showed up big time to show their support for me yesterday and I’m so happy that they did.