The BRAVE Interview #4 November 2016: Kristen Conley Leighton

Hello and welcome to the next in the series of The BRAVE Interviews! It’s the Who, What, When, Where, How,  (and sometimes Why) of YOUR ‘one brave thing’!

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Welcome to Interview #4 with Kristen Conley Leighton!

  1. WHO are you? Share whatever you want to about yourself personally.

Wow, so we’re starting with the hardest question!  Most days, I’m not really sure.   That statement can be traced back to the day I was born.  See, I was switched at birth.  Truly.  I was somehow confused with another baby girl born at almost the exact same time.  The next morning, a nurse arrived in my mother’s room with the wrong bundle. “That’s not my baby,” my mother said to her.  “Go back and try again.”   

The socially acceptable answer: My name is Kristen Conley Leighton.  I am a yoga teacher and a storyteller/writer. 

  1. WHAT is your One Brave Thing (so far!!) for 2016?

I destroyed a manuscript that I had been working on for seven years.  I’m not sure if that is brave or just plain stupid.

My trusted readers advised me to set the manuscript aside because so much of the story wasn’t working for them.  The consensus was that I should begin writing a new novel.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was born to tell THAT story, the one I’d just thrown away.  Instead of taking the professional advice, I turned to a blank screen and began rewriting the manuscript I had discarded.

  1. WHEN did you do it?

 It was March of this year. 

  1. WHERE did it occur?

The magic happened in the space in my home where I read, write, and practice yoga.

  1. HOW did you make it happen?

 I had burned the pages, permanently deleted all the drafts from my computer, and smashed the memory stick with a hammer before putting it in the trash.  I had no other choice.  It was a good thing, really.  

  1. WHY did you do it?

That’s a great question, and one my husband keeps asking over and over again.  It probably would have been easier to start working on something new.  That said, I had a pretty strong feeling that if I couldn’t save the drowning man in my novel, I’d never be able to save myself.  I felt like I had to tell the story.  And, based on feedback from the original manuscript, I had to find a better way to tell it.

This novel and its main character brought me closer to all of my well-guarded fears and insecurities than I’d ever come before.  The subject I was writing about could not be explored from a safe distance.  When I tackled the story in a more honest way and allowed myself to dive in and swim around in all of that fear and insecurity, well, I think it resulted in a more empathetic character in the final draft.   If you love a drowning man with a fierce heart, he just might figure out how to swim to shore on his own.  The first draft lacked heart.  Deep down, maybe I always knew that. 

So, that’s it.  It’s not glamorous…but it is my “one brave thing.”

Thank you so much for telling your story here, Kristen!

Check out Kristen Conley Leighton’s other writings here on her website:

https://kcleighton.com/

Ho no!

I got some unwelcome news today that my beloved Holy Yoga (HoYo) Saturday morning class is ending. graceMoving to Tuesday evenings. When I am at work.

My first thought was, OH NO!!! Then the Big Sad descended. I paused. I breathed (it was yoga class, after all). I could still enjoy this class, today. I could still Be Here Now.

I did my best.

My next thought was this: now there is room for something else to come in. I wonder what it will be?

There are some parting gifts.  A new song that I am listening to now by an artist, with whom I was unfamiliar but with whom now I am virtual BFF’s-JJ Heller. See her Christmas song here-I know! It’s late! But better late than never.

But the biggest gift is this: as I am standing here in my kitchen, consoling myself with a Nonni’s Biscotti and Spicy Eggnog coffee, I checked out the annvoscamp.com website and as I was scrolling around, I saw this quote:

* Grow Brave. Grow in Grace*

Grow Brave. Grow in Grace.

Which is basically the same thing.

This was on it! Brave was my 2015 word! Grace is my 2016 word!

Amazing. Grace.

 

 

Trying something new

I have not been practicing yoga much these past few weeks, since my yoga teacher (you know who llamasyou are!) moved to NC . I drove the road to North Berwick to get to yoga, about a half hour away, over and over and over, and was happy to do it.

I wasn’t familiar with that area at all when I first started going, but I got to know it well enough. It was a nice ride. I got to meet some wonderful women that I might not have met otherwise. I went to shops that I liked on the way home sometimes. It also gave me the opportunity to listen to my audiobook of the moment, which was a nice bonus. (Oh, did I mention I passed a Dunkin Donuts on my way…? I always invite coffee to my yoga practice :).)

Change is hard.

Anyway, I decided to try a new yoga class, and (since I was out of my comfort zone already) a new yoga (to me) entirely: Holy Yoga. My class is in Sanford, and is taught by Susan Hampton (find her website here: soulfulstretch.com).

I was the first to arrive (hello? I am a first-born) and as I was waiting, I started reading the notices on the bulletin board.

It’s important to note here that I am always looking for clues to know that I am in the right place and doing the right thing.

This is what I saw on the board:

  1. Llamas. I LOVE llamas. My husband and I have a collection of about a million (conservative estimate) of them, all different sizes, shapes, colors with one noteable exception: living. None of them are living.
  2. Another posting said something about Brave Girls and my one word this year is BRAVE!
  3. There was a posting about a Drumming Circle and not too long ago someone suggested that I try drumming.

Do you think those are enough clues?? Plus, Susan is a fabulous teacher: welcoming, funny, and caring. All of the other women were lovely. It was a pleasure to be in this class.

 

My 100th day

IMG_0933Today is my 100th consecutive day of meditating.

One hundredth. Consecutive. Day.

I know, right?

Prior to this, my meditation practice never lasted more than a few moments, if it occurred to me to do it at all, and then sometimes it consisted only of the thought,”Gee, I really should meditate,” or even better (or worse), “Meditate”.

But this time I really did it. Every day.

What I learned:

  1. There really are benefits to a daily meditation practice.
  2. I notice myself taking long, deep, full breaths now throughout the day, autonomically, not purposefully.
  3. I can be calmer during (some) storms-during an awful situation recently, I had the very clear thought: “Even though this is happening all around me right now, I am okay.” Of course, at first I was annoyed that I couldn’t remember what the circumstances were but now I see that this forgetting is the gift. Remembering that I knew that I was still OKAY, THAT is the lesson. The upsetting events don’t matter in the end.
  4. Like I learned with NaNoWriMo, I am a gal that needs structure. The structure of giveit100.com.
  5. My blood pressure prior to the 100 days was hovering around 180/110. Midway through it had dropped to 118/76. Hello? Can you say NORMAL? For the first time in years?

My yoga teacher and friend, Kristen, told me that meditation would be good for me and that I should make it a regular part of my yoga practice. Seven years ago.

Who says I’m slow to change?

Oh yeah, my husband. So, shhh.

 

 

 

Organization (or lack thereof)

office clutterOrganization? Thy name is not Karen.

I have stuff.

A lot of stuff.

I have decided that I am ready to let stuff go.

Keep it simple.

Stupid.

I have so many recipes and such that I have cut out, ripped out, torn out of magazines and newspapers and NEVER MADE. I should just throw them out, right? You’re right. You’re right. I KNOW you’re right.

And I have so many writing projects! How to organize them all? OMG. need a computer and desk dedicated just to that. Just to writing and the associated paraphernalia.

Then there’s the yoga stuff, the knitting stuff, the spiritual stuff, the Reiki stuff, the scrapbooking stuff…oh, and the Italian stuff! Folders for learning the language, cooking the food, traveling to the country.

The household stuff, bill paying stuff, the warranty stuff…oh! And all of the holiday stuff! Not just Christmas, but Christmas stuff does take up the most space. Wrapping paper, cards, decorations. Stacks and stacks (and stacks and stacks) of books. Plus the books on the actual (much too small) book case. (Note to self: my books are underserved.)

Nursing stuff! Stethoscopes, scrubs, clamps, bandage scissors, paper tape measures for measuring wounds…even though I am no longer a bedside nurse, I have learned the hard way to never say never and thus I am loath to release any of these things even though it’s been about two years since I’ve needed any of it.

Then there’s the Go and Do files. Some are filled with stuff we already Went and Did. Should I keep those or toss them? What about my idea file? I just read an article on FB (sorry, author of said article, I do not remember your name) that it’s good to write down ten ideas every day. I LOVE THAT! If I keep this file, then I’ve already got a head start!

Many things are in their own folders already, and it seems sort of organizational…but there are multiple folders for writing and yoga and knitting….and did I mention there is no place to put these files?

I think I need professional help.

Anyone? Anyone?

Yoga for writers

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Are you dying of pain from a week of practically nonstop NaNo typing? I woke up Saturday morning, let the chickens out, fed them, and carried a bag to my car and suddenly was in severe pain in my left shoulder.

Really? Really? I thought, THIS BITES!

It’s like adding insult to injury, right? I mean, shoot, we managed to type our frikkin’ brains out to try to meet our personal word counts and now we are crippled.

As always, we have only ourselves to blame! But we also can help ourselves.

Check this out:

Seated yoga positions that you can do at your desk will help!!**

Here are a couple that you can try at home now (please note disclaimer below!):

  1. Sit or stand. Bring your right arm across your body with the palm facing you and hold it with by bringing your left arm up to make a “T” (see picture above). Hold as long as you want to get a good stretch through your shoulder. Repeat with the left arm, bringing it across your body with the palm facing you and hold it by bringing your right arm up.
  2. Sit in a chair. Place your right palm under the right side of your butt, facing down and pointing to the left. then sit on it. Let your head drop to the left, but DO NOT FORCE IT, just enough to get a good stretch. Repeat on the other side: place left palm under the left side of your butt, facing down and pointing to the right then sit on it. Let your head drop to the right, but again, DO NOT FORCE IT.

I learned these stretches from my friend, yoga teacher, and fellow writer Kristen. Check out her blog here.

**DISCLAIMER:  If you have any existing injuries, illness, or weaknesses in muscles or joints, please discuss these exercises with your doctor to see if they are appropriate for you before trying them.

 

 

Leisure time: top 10 activities

IMG_9607I have the next few days off and am thinking of fun ways to spend it:

  1. Go bowling
  2. Go to the movies:  I want to see St Vincent, The Judge, and that Steve Carell movie about the terrible, very bad day.
  3. Get up early and go to yoga
  4. Go see the ocean!
  5. Check out the Craft Show at the JHS
  6. Work on my plan for NaNoWriMo beginning 11/1
  7. Attend a memoir writing class (if I can just get in my registration under the wire….)
  8. Start my next knitting project
  9. Read one of the hundred or so books I have in piles waiting for me
  10. Go to the Health and Wellness Expo in Portland

Of course, I may just lay on the couch and watch The Pioneer Woman on the Food Network.

 

 

Midlife Monkey Mind

I’ve been on overload these past few weeks, with my mind overly full of stress-inducing thoughts. Sleeping has been a challenge. Lying awake from 1:30-4:30am two nights ago, I trotted out all my tricks for putting myself back to sleep: saying my ABC’s, counting backward from 100, tensing and relaxing muscle groups, saying the So Hum meditation.

Today at yoga, the instructor coincidentally included the So Hum mediation in our class. My mind had been racing a mile a minute right up until I heard Kristen say those two words, when it screeched to a halt…for a second. I started saying the words: so hum…so hum…so hum…

Then I became aware of something interesting: although my mental voice was indeed repeating the so hums dutifully as requested, another channel in my mind was still gyrating with the monkey mindedness of my midlife brain. It never stopped. Even as my ‘good girl’ brain was desperately trying to fulfill the teacher’s request to meditate on the fact that “I am”, the ‘bad girl’ brain carried on obsessing with wild abandon.

Note to self: shut of the monkey mind when you meditate. It’s so much more effective.

Movie free association

I was in yoga class (small group, all women) last week and someone (okay, it was me) started talking about how Sleepless in Seattle had been on TV the night before.

Soon, everyone was mentioning their “go-to” movies, the ones that you have to watch whenever they are on TV, even if you have the DVD already, and even if it’s on Netflix.

Here’s the master chick-flick list:

  1. Sleepless in Seattle
  2. You’ve Got Mail
  3. It Could Happen to You
  4. The Wedding Planner
  5. Must Love Dogs
  6. The Bridges of Madison County
  7. Something’s Got to Give
  8. While You Were Sleeping
  9. When Harry Met Sally
  10. Say Anything
 
The men: George Clooney, Jack Black, Hugh Jackman, Matthew McConaughey, John Cusack…
Who’s YOUR favorite?
What are the movies that you have to watch whenever they come on TV (even if you already own the dvd/blu ray/video)?

Birthday gifts

I was at my favorite yoga studio yesterday, and it was the instructor’s birthday.

“Why don’t you take the day off?”  I asked her earlier that week, and she said…ready for this?
“Because I love my job so much!”

How many times do you hear that?

So for her birthday, and for the month of February that contains her favorite holiday (Valentine’s, not President’s, Day 🙂 ) she treated us to free Reiki treatments. Free 15 minutes chair massages were given by another student, a massage therapist, Kelly.

Well, may I just say:  Thank you, Kristen and Kelly!

Kelly practices at Natural Care Wellness Center in Elliot (207-437-0242 or email at kasteere@comcast.net).

Kristen teaches (small, women only classes) at Wild Lotus Yoga Studio in South Berwick (email at wildlotusstudio@yahoo.com).