The BRAVE Interview #22 May 2018: Melanie Delorme

Welcome to this month’s BRAVE Interview with Melanie Delorme!


I am a teacher, a wife, a mother, an author who was given the role of bereaved mom in 2008 when my 8-year-old son, Garrett, was accidentally shot and killed in a hunting accident.

It would have been so easy to allow this horrific experience to define me as a grief-stricken mom for the rest of my life. I’m not sure how long it took me to realize that Garrett deserved a better legacy than that.

I also realized that healing and moving forward was my choice.

I try to choose every day to celebrate Garrett’s life and to remember that knowing him for eight years made me a better person.

I spent a lot of time writing in a journal during the first few years after Garrett’s death. I have since turned my writing into a book and published it. It is entitled, After the Flowers Die: A Handbook of Heartache, Hope and Healing After Losing a Child. I do not want any bereaved parent to ever feel alone.  I have recently created a website, promoted my book at book signings, participated in my first TV interview, participated in a live grief webinar. Currently I am working on creating a journaling course for grieving parents.

When I think about the word Brave, I realize that sometimes bravery is simply getting out of bed and facing the world every day.

Sometimes bravery feels more like survival. While I don’t feel brave every day, I will continue to choose to move forward keeping my son’s memory alive through my writing and speaking.

My website: www.MelanieDelorme.com

My book on Amazon:  After the Flowers Die: A Handbook of Heartache, Hope and Healing After Losing a Child

 



Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Melanie!


Read the other BRAVE Interviews here: The BRAVE Interviews

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR THIS SERIES ABOUT SOMETHING BRAVE YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR OWN LIFE, SEND ME AN EMAIL HERE: karen@karencreamer.com

The BRAVE Interview #21 April 2018: Stormie Grace

Welcome to this month’s interview with Stormie Grace!

Being Brave…

Hello everyone I am Astrologer Stormie Grace! …….really what I am is just a human! That comes with its pretty standard fears, insecurities, Delights, Mysteries, and all else that encompasses The Human Experience pause. The two qualities I’ve been invited to talk to you about today from my experience are fear and bravery.

No matter how it presents itself, fear always has this low-level vibration telling me I am somehow not enough as I am, and God forbid I get any different because then I’ll definitely be not enough.

If you know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about, but really, in my experience what Fear actually is actually is the thief that robs me from my life. It should absolutely be classified with stealing, yeah, because it robs me of the moments I could be experiencing how enough I am! And how much Beauty there is in the enough to notice.

And while that’s all wonderfully philosophical, I was in fear! It left the zone of fun for me and became a pure hiding mechanism that was fear. I wish you could guess what it was? My hair! For years and years I have enjoyed the playful decorating of my head with many different hairstyles, from wigs and weaves to braids and crochets! It is in my very nature to enjoy decorating beautifying and making things look and feel absolutely luxurious, so of course my hair was going to fall into this as well!

However outside of the beautification process, I crossed a fine line and I didn’t even know I had crossed it.

I left the space of fun and authentic expression and stepped onto the shore of fear. I stopped playing with my hair and creating beautiful designs to share with the world as an expression of my soul and simply began hiding underneath each woven state of my expression. I reached a place where my natural hair was no longer acceptable because it wasn’t long and luxurious and beautiful!

Fear allowed me to forget my enough-ness in any state!

For 5 years I invested dollar after dollar into not expressing myself, but into hiding in fear. What if someone saw my natural hair? Then they would never buy my products. They would never love me. They would never–I would never– and so on! The idea of stepping out in public without some long luxurious piece on literally made my skin crawl. I can remember a day very specifically where I had taken my wig off for the evening and was putting it away, and I only was able to take a half glance of myself in the mirror, because this natural hair was just not acceptable in its unruly State not trundling down my back, waving like Rapunzel to my sweet prince to come and save me! It was solid fear! And this continued for years!

And as juicy and tragic as that sounds, especially because it’s real life, this is actually where it gets good…

In this summer of 2017, the universe saw fit to bring me together with a man who I had been friends with for many years. Except this time we came together in romance instead of just friendship! And as it goes in the beginning of our new relationship it was sex and intimacy and giggling and stroking and playing until the wee hours of the morning, but he noticed I would never let him touch my hair! And of course with this big luxurious mop up there who wouldn’t want to touch that deliciousness? And finally, I sat him down and had the conversation that black women sometimes have to have with their white boyfriends about the fact that this hair was not mine, he could not touch it, but that it was in fact a piece of me. Universe, bless this man, because he just accepted it as truth, all while looking me right in my eyes and saying I would think you are beautiful without it.

Now for whatever reason which I still cannot explain, my soul heard what my head could not wrap its head around for years.

So the next day I went into the bathroom I took the wig off, I washed and styled my natural hair, and I sat in the bathroom incredibly uncomfortable judging myself, but also beginning at a very low-level to feel whole!

See, what I know about what happened is that LOVE (NOT ROMANCE), but LOVE drew me out and allowed me to walk through the fear in safety and acceptance.

The next day, I got to step into the fear and watch it transform to bravery, but making my first set of videos that would go to the public, with my natural hair. AND I DIDN’T STOP THERE … I went to my favorite shops and restaurants and even to see my cousin the beautician (who almost died that I was in public without weave. Not because my hair isn’t gorgeous, but because she had only seen me in fear)! I figured, “Heck I might as well take this bravery show on the road!” LOL! I could not have imagined how much emotion, hope, security, individuality, and love was wrapped up in my hair, in women and their hair, and it changed me.

Being brave enough to go INTO my fear changed me! I am free!

I have since gotten into so many hair related facets that I have made new friends (get new places meet new faces type deal), and I have allowed myself to unfold as needed! Today when I wear a wig, or braids, or a wash and go, I am free to do it and express myself that way because I am no longer hiding in the open. Today I am brave, I am love, and I am free!

Sending you love to stop fear in its tracks! Don’t let it rob your life, instead, GO WHERE THE FEAR IS…BE BRAVE!!!

XOXOXO


Thank you so much for sharing your brave story with us, Stormie! Check Stormie Grace out on Facebook at Stormie Grace Astrology!


Read the other BRAVE Interviews here: The BRAVE Interviews

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR THIS SERIES ABOUT SOMETHING BRAVE YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR OWN LIFE, SEND ME AN EMAIL HERE: kmcwrites@gmail.com

The BRAVE Interview #20 March 2018: Crissy Maier

Here is this month’s BRAVE Interview with Crissy Maier!

  1. WHO are you? Someone who overcomes challenges. Whether it’s my cleft lip and palate, my learning disability, my struggles through the police academy, other health issues, problems at work – I’m not defined by any of them, but rather by my ability to integrate the lessons I’ve learned and to find ways to overcome the next challenge I will face.
  2. WHAT is your One Brave Thing? Sometimes I wonder if I’ve done it yet. I seem to have succeeded at everything I’ve tried, or at least not failed miserably. I might need to try something harder to really be brave. But when thinking about this question, I’m reminded of my first trip to Europe. I arrived in London, almost got lost going to my hotel even though I had step by step instructions. The next day I got on a hop on and off bus and at the stop in Trafalgar Square I wanted to get off the bus, but I was afraid of getting off the bus. In some ways it was an insignificant moment, but it’s a moment that I’ve reminded myself of many, many times. It’s a moment that inspired an entire chapter of my book.  It took a minute or two to talk myself into it, but I got off the bus at Trafalgar Square. I didn’t venture too far away from the bus stop, but I broke a barrier of fear. I traveled through Europe for two weeks before returning to London. When I did, I was a completely different person, I was taking the Tube to sites that I didn’t know how to get to and navigating the streets of London like I would the streets at home. It’s one of those rare opportunities in life when I got to see how much I had changed in a short period of time. When I’m afraid of something, I often think back to that experience.
  3. WHEN did you do it? That was in 2005
  4. WHERE did it occur? London and Europe
  5. HOW and WHY did you make it happen? The woman who stepped off the plane in London in 2005 was ready for adventure, to see the world. But she was afraid of the unknown, of getting lost. But she was more afraid of missing out, or being a “failure.” When fear holds us back, sometimes we need to break down what the fear is, and what the realistic ‘bad’ outcome is. When we think of it logically, it’s usually not nearly as bad as it seems. It’s not always easy to do, it takes time and discipline. More importantly though, I think knowing why you want to do something, and the cost of not doing it, can be enough to give you the discipline needed to overcome the fear you have. If I wasn’t committed to seeing London (in one day), then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten off the bus and found out that it’s not so scary to face your fear.

Thank you so much for sharing your brave story with us, Crissy!

Check out Crissy Maier’s bookBlue Sky Morning  


Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, send me an email here: kmcwrites@gmail.com

 

The BRAVE Interview #19 February 2018: Barbara Ryland

Welcome to this month’s interview with my good friend, Barbara Ryland!

My Brave Thing

As a child growing up, I had no father.

My parents were divorced when I was an infant, and my father moved far away.  I had no contact with him, with any of his siblings or with my paternal grandparents. After I married and had my own children, it became very important to me to meet my paternal grandmother who was in her 80’s. I wanted so much to know her before she died. So I made plans to go to Gulfport, Mississippi, where she lived and where my father had grown up. I had hopes of meeting him, also, but he was living in Texas, and I was unsure if he would be able to meet me in Mississippi.

One of my father’s sisters, an aunt who lived in Georgia, had been in touch with me a few years before. She suggested that I fly to Atlanta, and she would drive me to Gulfport.

So on an early July morning with my heart thumping and limbs trembling, I began my journey to meet my father’s family of origin.

I spent two wonderful weeks in Gulfport meeting my grandmother and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. And my father and his wife did come over for a few days from Texas.  I was so glad I had taken that step of meeting part of my family.  Most of all, I was grateful for their loving and welcoming me, a family member yet a stranger.

My grandmother died several years after that, but until her death, we talked once a week on the phone. My father died about 12 years later, but we maintained contact throughout those years and visited each other. Some of my aunts and uncles have died, but I am still in touch with those who are alive as well as with my cousins.


Thank you so much for sharing your personal story with us, Barbara!

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, send me an email here: kmcwrites@gmail.com

The BRAVE Interview #18 January 2018: Carrie Frail

My name is Carrie Frail. I’m 37 years old but I feel like I’ve lived several lifetimes.

I was a teenage rebel, who rushed headfirst into any and everything.

I went to college, dropped out, and then enlisted in the U.S. Air Force by age 18. I was married by 19, a mother by 20 and bought an idyllic family home by age 23.

Everything seemed to be great on the outside, but internally I struggled daily.

Later diagnosed with a slew of mental illnesses from Bipolar Disorder to anxiety, I was also an addict. Since I had to maintain a security clearance for the government, I pursued my addictions legally…alcohol, prescription pills, attention from men, bad relationships, shopping…anything I could do to not feel so empty and broken.

It didn’t work.

Years later, I was no longer married. I had lost my job and my health insurance and couldn’t afford my daily medications. I had turned to drugs to self-medicate and I was spiraling down. I had been trying (and failing) to get clean for a year. My house was in foreclosure and there were warrants out for my arrest for driving my illegal, unregistered car.  I had just gone through yet another devastating heartbreaking breakup and I wanted to die.

I had taken a large bottle of pills with some alcohol and I was laying on the couch, waiting to die.

 As I closed my eyes, I thought of my daughter coming home and finding my corpse on the couch.

In this, my one brave moment, I decided to live. To die then would have been the easiest thing in the world. To live meant getting back up. Admitting my life was screwed up and putting in the work to fix it and most of all, to learn to love and forgive myself.

I decided to live and I got back up. I ended up in the hospital, then to the psych ward at the VA, then to an inpatient rehab program. There were lots of ups and downs after that. I lost my house and my ex-husband moved several states away with our kids. I got a job, then had health issues and left it. I still struggle with mental illness, and some days are better than others but overall, my life is worth living today because I appreciate it. I have had a lot in my life. Some was given to me and some I earned. Most of it I’ve lost and none of it really mattered in the end.

In the end, what really matters is doing that One Brave Thing day after day.

Making the decision to get up and live.



Carrie, thank you so much for sharing your brave story with us. We are honored and humbled by your words.

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, send me an email here: kmcwrites@gmail.com

 

The BRAVE Interview #17 December 2017: Amy B. Wells RN

This month’s interview is with Amy B. Wells, RN!

I am an author and nurse anesthetist.

I’ve had many phases in my life. I was an accountant for a long time (hated it with a passion). I stayed at home with my children for about five years, then went to nursing school when I was in my late thirties. After that, I worked in the ICU for three years before going to anesthesia school. I’ve been a nurse anesthetist for a little over six years. I am married with two teenagers and a grumpy old tom cat and currently live in the suburbs of Houston.

My latest endeavor is writing. I’ve self-published four novels and I have started blogging on my website https://amywellspublishing.com/

WHAT is your One Brave Thing?  Many people might think the bravest thing I’ve done is attending nursing school or working in the ICU and or going to anesthesia school all at an older age while raising two young children, but the bravest thing I’ve done is to publish these novels.

It took me a long time to work up the nerve to publish them. I’ve always been rather introverted. Publishing and writing a blog has meant exposing myself to others. I might as well be naked! Most things I’ve done have been planned and controlled rather than creative or artistic.

WHEN did you do it? I wrote my novels over a period of about five years, but never was brave enough to put them out there.

When my fiftieth birthday approached, I decided it was now or never.

Time is marching on, I told myself!

I self-published my first book on my fiftieth birthday (this year)! Eeek! I can’t believe I’m fifty! How is that possible?

Then I wondered why the heck I waited so long! Not long after, I published the other three. I’ve gotten nothing but support and enthusiasm from those around me.

I’ve met numerous new friends both on social media and in writer’s associations I’ve joined. A whole new world has been opened to me. I had no idea how many nurses and other great people are writing just like I am!

Now, I’m in the process of rewriting them, coming up with new covers and a relaunch next year, hopefully to sell my books to a wider audience, and I am writing a fifth novel and have plans for more. It’s so much fun!

WHERE did it occur? The great thing about self-publishing is you can do it from anywhere you have an internet connection. I wrote and published from my arm-chair.

HOW did you make it happen? Lots and lots of screen time with hands on keyboard. I was obsessed with my books and I still am. I love thinking up new books; coming up with ideas is never a problem. Execution, on the other hand, is more difficult. I credit the discipline of anesthesia school and nursing school for teaching me how to be dedicated to a goal.

For me the first stage in writing a novel is to develop my main characters, which so far have been nurses because I think nurses make perfect protagonists. They are strong-willed, funny, caring and dedicated with lots of interesting quirks thrown in. And the situations they get involved in make for great stories.

After coming up with my protagonist and an alpha hero (I’m a sucker for romance and love to include it in my books) I then think of the worst possible thing that could happen to the protagonist. This is the “dark moment.” This is when the reader thinks the protagonist can’t possibly be saved and the reader wonders how it will all end. And then, the protagonist finds a way to save herself. In my books, I want the heroine to be responsible for solving the problem and saving herself even though I have a strong hero, too.

I then think of an inciting incident, the event that starts the story and several tension-building incidents until I hit that dark moment. From there I build the rest of my tale. Sometimes I get stuck and go around in circles, but that’s part of the process.

I’m still learning about the craft of writing and marketing fiction. It’s a never-ending learning process, but I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it.

WHY did you do it? I’ve always been an avid reader of fiction and dabbled in writing over the years although I also love sciences and nursing. Giving anesthesia is a technical job, although there is an art to it, but I find writing provides a creative outlet that I don’t get in the operating room.

When you create fiction, you are responsible for the interactions of your characters and what happens to them.

I love being immersed in a book and even more so being immersed in creating one. I find I grow quite attached to my characters and miss them when I finish a novel. Sometimes I want to write a sequel just so I can see them again.

You can click on the image to find them on Amazon. You can also go to my website to click through to Nook, Apple and other distributors.

https://amywellspublishing.com/

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, email me at kmcwrites@gmail.com!

The BRAVE Interview #16 November 2017: Debra Lockwood Spencer

This month’s interview is with Debra Lockwood Spencer.

My name is Debra Lockwood Spencer (pictured above, left).  

My brave thing happened when I was 17 years old, while spending nine weeks in South America as an exchange student.  

It was the summer before my senior year in high school, and I was fortunate to be living with a wonderful family in a prosperous suburb of Lima, Peru.  During that time, I got to know a number of American exchange students, along with members of their host families.  We went on cultural and social outings together and met at dinners and parties.  Other than Marisol and Ceci Raffo, my “host sisters”, my two best friends were Maya Puyo and Paula Hawkins.  Maya had attended my high school as an exchange student during the previous year, and Paula was the American student the Puyo family was hosting.

Although Maya and Paula attended school in the Lima area, the Puyo family owned a ranch in the Andes near a town called Huancayo.  A long train ride on one of the highest railroads in the world brought several of us to their ranch for a holiday.  

I remember suffering from altitude sickness, experiencing nausea and headaches as the switchback rail car climbed higher and higher.  

We arrived after nightfall and despite my illness, I was overwhelmed by the midnight splendor of the thick carpet of stars.  The thin atmosphere and lack of light pollution allowed me to appreciate the heavens with new awe and wonder.  During that week, Paula and I became particularly close, as we rode horses, watched condors, and even experienced a slight earthquake there near the top of the world.

Several weeks later, almost 100 of us flew from Lima to Cuzco, the capital of the Inca empire.

 Another short train ride took us to Machu Picchu, the famous “lost city of the Incas”. 

Back in 1970, this World Heritage site was still off the beaten track.  We climbed the terraces and explored the ruins of the city, marveling at the engineering and astrological knowledge that had transformed huge stone structures into a sacred calendar to chart the movement of the sun across the sky.

When our large group arrived at the airport for the return trip to Lima, we were dismayed to discover that the flight had been oversold.  Some of us were actually expected to stand in the aisle, and there was no room in the baggage compartment for the large woven rugs and pottery pieces that many of us had bought at the native markets.  One chaperone and several students had a quick discussion, deciding we would stay an extra night and travel more comfortably.  I was among those several students.

I remember the five of us were having coffee at the airport when we watched the small aircraft speed down the runway.  

As it rose into the air, I had time to regret that Maya and Paula had boarded before us, and would not be spending that extra night in Cuzco.  Suddenly, the plane seemed to hesitate, lurch, and then make a sickening drop.  Before our unbelieving eyes, the plane crashed into the side of a mountain and exploded.  Suddenly, the air was filled with a thick acrid smoke, erasing our view and clogging our throats.  One of the girls beside me began to suffer from an asthma attack.  I really have no memory of how we got back to the hotel, or whom I may have talked to using my imperfect high school Spanish.  Dramatic though it seems, I remember standing in a crowded street several hours later, and having a smeared page of newsprint thrust into my hands.

On that sheet was printed the list of passengers believed aboard the aircraft, and my own name was among them.

There were no survivors of that Lanza Airlines flight, my friends Maya and Paula among the mostly adolescent victims.  Almost 100 people died, and it took hours to connect with my Peruvian family back in Lima to advise them that I had not been aboard.  In those days, there were no cell phones or laptops and Peru was participating in the World Cup, which even limited radio news.  Only that situation can explain the fact that back in the United States, my family spend 24 hours believing I had died.  My mother had found my last letter, confirming the dates of our Cuzco trip and describing our travel plans.  As a joke, I had apparently doodled a cartoon plane, spiralling out of the sky.  I can’t explain that, or why Paula had confided to me that before she left New York, she had dreamed of perishing in a plane crash.  She had told me this in Huancayo, while she strummed her guitar and sang the lyrics to “Leaving on a Jet Plane.”

Our little group did indeed fly out of Cuzco the next day.  I saw the wreckage from the window, and realized that I was not afraid to fly, nor would I ever experience those fears.  

Had God wanted me to die in a plane crash, He had His perfect opportunity and He had spared me for reasons of His own.  

I actually believe that He spoke to me and that He wanted me to become a Spanish teacher.  During the days to come, friends and relatives of the victims poured into Lima.  I had been mentioned as an acquaintance in letters sent by certain students, and parents wanted to know, “Where might my daughter have developed her last roll of film?  Was my son happy during the days and weeks before?  Is there any chance my child could still be alive, wounded and wandering among the wreckage?”  I talked to host families and school teachers, acting as a very imperfect translator expressing concepts that had never been covered in a classroom textbook.

Although I had never heard the terms, I do believe I suffered from a type of survivor’s guilt, or PTSD, due to my survival in the face of so many wonderful young lives lost.  When I returned to my home in Parma, Ohio, the joys of my Peru trip were overshadowed by grief and depression.  I communicated for years with many of the affected families, until my mother quietly suggested to the bereaved parents that the burden of being a “substitute daughter” was too heavy for me to bear.  I am not sure whether my story fits the criteria of a “Brave” moment….but it defined my life and certainly the direction of my career (I am a retired World Languages teacher).

However, I know without a doubt that there is still something I am meant to accomplish during this lifetime, because Peru was only the first of the five occasions on which I almost died.  

I appreciate the chance to share my story.  Maybe that is my remaining purpose.  Who knows?

Debbie was BRAVE and opened her wonderful Etsy Shop this year!

Visit it here: Altered Art Treasures

Follow Altered Art Treasures on Facebook!

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, email me at kmcwrites@gmail.com!

 

The BRAVE Interview #15 October 2017: Allyson Bright

This month, we are meeting Allyson Bright!

 

  1. WHO are you? I’m 36. An artist, a woman in love, a widow, a crafter, a teacher, and a seeker of joy. I live in Wisconsin with my boyfriend, TJ, and my Beagle, Gracie.
  1. WHAT is your One Brave Thing?  It’s hard to pick just one – honestly, it’s been a journey. I was 32 when my husband died by suicide. After that, I found that I had to face new fears and learn how to create a new life for myself.About nine months after he passed, I went away for a week by myself. I was having trouble trusting my own decisions and I knew I needed to leave my comfort zone in order to move forward. The trip was transformational and ultimately led to my decision to leave my home in Iowa and move to Wisconsin for a fresh start.  Art journaling and crafting were such a vital part of my healing process, and I really wanted to share that with others. My ultimate brave thing was to leave my day job in order to start a business teaching art classes and offering coaching services. 
  1. WHEN did you do it? I started my company, Determined to Shine, about 18 months ago. It’s been a bit of a crazy journey, to be sure. But without a doubt, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
  1. WHERE did it occur? Right here in Madison, Wisconsin.
  1. HOW did you make it happen? One step at a time! Determined to Shine has grown into so much – weekend retreats, several online workshops, and even one-on-one coaching services. Sometimes it can seem like all of that happened at once, but it’s been a gradual process. For those looking to make a career change – don’t let the size of the task overwhelm you! Pick apart each task into small chunks, and just get started.
  1. WHY did you do it? The idea for Determined to Shine had been in my mind for several years. Ultimately, I realized I was just going to have to take a leap and be willing to fail. I didn’t want to wake up in three more years and still be talking about it. Taking that leap was terrifying, and I had to build my plan along the way. But everything that’s worth anything is scary. Determined to Shine has brought so much joy into my life and the lives of others – I can’t imagine what life would be like if I hadn’t done that one brave thing. 

Thank you, Allyson, for sharing your brave story with us!

Allyson is the author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Scrapbook Projects Illustrated.

You can find Allyson’s FREE online class here: 30 days of Art Journaling. I have taken this class myself and I enjoyed it very much. I highly recommend all of Allyson’s classes. Find them all here: http://www.determinedtoshine.net/

Check out Allyson’s online book club: Get Artsy Book Club

Click here to find out more (act fast! It’s almost time for this!) about Allyson’s Determined to Shine Fall Retreat!

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your life, email me at kmcwrites@gmail.com!

The BRAVE Interview #14 September 2017: Sylvia Wesley

Here is this month’s BRAVE Interview with Sylvia Wesley! Enjoy!

  1. WHO are you? I’m a 61-year-old white woman—wife, mother, nurse, and pseudo-bon vivant!
  2. WHAT is your One Brave Thing? Sometimes I feel like just living every day is a Brave Thing and it is difficult to choose a single event!  As a nurse, it seems like so many of my ‘brave things’ encompass caring for people—my dad and my brother, who both died of cancer; my mom with multiple surgeries; friends with HIV/AIDS.  As a mom I gave birth to twins who were 10 weeks premature and their first 6 months of life was pretty hectic, to put it mildly.  As a wife, still being married after 38 years could be considered brave—but probably the bravest aspect there is that I married a black man in 1979, only 12 years after the Supreme Court ruled interracial marriage was not illegal, and our early years involved some struggles in a very white New England. So, after all that, I decided to choose a joyous adventure as my One Brave Thing—I went to Burning Man!
  3. WHEN did you do it? 8/28-9/1, 2006
  4. WHERE did it occur? Black Rock Desert, NV
  5. HOW did you make it happen? Mostly my daughter made the initial experience happen.  She had been going to Burning Man for a few years and always marveled at how awesome it was and she was sure I would love it.  So for my 50th birthday, I was given a ticket to TTITD (aka ‘that thing in the desert’).  Which meant I would be sharing camping space with 38,000+ other adventuring nomads for a week in rather hostile environmental conditions, and only knowing one other person.  A little scary having to be self-reliant in an unknown situation, camping with my daughter’s friends who only had her assurances that I was ‘fun, non-judgmental, fully capable of taking care of myself, and would not act like everybody’s mother.’  So I packed my bags and flew to LA.  We readied all our camping equipment, some party outfits, food and water for a week, and did a 12 hour ride/drive-share to the event with a heretofore unknown person.  After 12+ hours, in a very small mini-van, we were all fast friends.  Getting to and from is just as much of an adventure as being there!
  6. WHY did you do it? For the adventure!  It was one of the best experiences of my life—the bigger-than-life art, the music, the people, the sense of oneness—all magnificent.  I came away with a whole new sense of self.  And as my daughter predicted, I would want to go every year after that, and did so for the next 7 years.  ‘Life’ has since interrupted my annual trek, and I have not been for the past 3 years, but look forward to resuming visits to my personal Mecca in the near future.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Sylvia!

If anybody wants to learn more about the culture that is Burning Man, go to https://burningman.org/

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If you would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your life, email me at kmcwrites@gmail.com!

The BRAVE Interview #13 August 2017: Jennifer Davies

Please enjoy this month’s interview with Jennifer Davies!

INTRODUCTION

Hello everyone, I’m thrilled to be here as a featured guest in the Brave series. Thank you Karen for inviting me! A few facts about me; my name is Jennifer Davies, and I’m a fifty something mom with four boys, two cats, a dog, and a husband in tow. I have been married for twenty-one years this August to my best friend and strongest supporter. I’m originally from Wales in the UK which is why I have a funny accent, but I now reside on the East Coast of America in New England.

I have lived in North Andover for the past 14 years, and it’s a perfect distance from the city of Boston, the coast, and the mountains which I love. Living in New England has been a huge source of inspiration for me, but I find inspiration from many avenues, my family, my life, traveling and my persistence to keep writing. As a result, I always have ideas for future books.

I’m a former registered nurse/midwife. I am always battling my weight, but as I’m addicted to chocolate, it’s not a fight I will win anytime soon. I adore Grey’s Anatomy. I love yard sales and get excited at the purchase of old furniture that I can recycle. My goal is to be a NY Times best seller—one day!

MY BRAVE STORY

Well, it’s actually hard to choose which piece of my life to reveal that would showcase something BRAVE that I have done! I believe to be BRAVE you have to face something that is painful, fearful or difficult, and my life has contained many instances that would fit that definition.

Most recently, the one I still process is the loss of my mother. Even now, six months later I miss her. My mom, lived with Alzheimer’s, and had for the past almost five years. Living overseas made it difficult to provide the care I wished to, but in the early stages I could help by having mum visit through the summer and stay for several weeks at a time. As the disease progressed, even that wasn’t an option. Feeling frustrated and needing to do something, I started a support page on-line called ALZHEIMER’S SUPPORT, which still provides help to those going through the painful and heartbreaking experience.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/291824310860629/
In December 2016, my mother entered full-time nursing care and shortly after her renal disease deteriorated to the point that we knew we were entering the final stages of her life. At Christmas, my wish and prayer was to be able to care for mum in her final days. God answered in a strange way that enabled me to spend four weeks with my mum in the UK until her passing on the 29th January. Even now, I have tears as I write this because knowing your loved one is dying is devastating no matter the age or the situation. Being a former nurse, I knew what to expect to a degree, but I wasn’t prepared for the emotional trauma and loss as I watched my mum slip away.
The memories of her final four weeks are ingrained on my brain, good and bad. I remember the days that she slept, and we weren’t sure if she would make it through the next twenty-four hours, to standing next to her in the make-shift church singing hymns in shock at her complete turnaround, to holding her hand as she took her last breath. Those final hours were heartbreaking, and I have no regrets. In life, mum had always been there for me, and this was the least I could do no matter how hard or painful it was to ensure she wasn’t alone as she made her final journey onward to my dad.

All through the night there was a panic that I wouldn’t be able to face the end that I wouldn’t be able to find the words of comfort as her condition changed. In the early hours when the built up fluids became noisy, “death rattle” I lost it. Tears poured, and an overwhelming sense of panic and futility washed over me. I wanted to leave, but as I watched mum, I couldn’t let her down. I needed to be strong and to be there for her right until the end. I hated the thought of her being alone, and now, it gives me comfort to know she was surrounded by love, and her death was peaceful. My mum enjoyed a long and happy life, she was a brave woman loved by all her daughters and grandchildren. She is missed every day.

MY LIFE

My mum was always a strong supporter of my dreams to become a romance author, and her encouragement kept me going. I’m now a multi-genre author, and I’ve been writing full-time for the last eight years.  Every good and bad moment of my life has helped shape me as a writer. Throughout my life, I have always been an avid reader, and from that stemmed the desire to create my own stories.

My Latest Release THE WITCH’S HEART is the second book in the Rise of Orion series.

I love to hear from readers and these are the ways you can contact me…

FB Author page https://www.facebook.com/Jennifer-Owen-Davies-YA-J-M-Davies-Adult-1421409368089313/

Website            http://www.jenniferowendavies.com/
Email                 Jendaviesuk@gmail.com
Twitter              https://twitter.com/jendaviesuk
Instagram        Jengal124
Blog                  https://welshjensblog.blogspot.com

Thank you, Jennifer!!

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If you would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your life, email me at kmcwrites@gmail.com!