Tag: marriage

Divine Intervention

by Karen, posted in family, Midlife Crisis

One morning, as I was rushing around getting ready for my day, I finished getting dressed and then went to get my earrings. I reached  into the small vintage glass  Pyrex pudding dish where I keep the few pieces of jewelry that I wear most frequently, intending to get my favorites.

They were a pair of earrings that my husband gave me when we were dating. The emerald studs were chosen because a) they are my birthstone and b) they were replacing a pair I’d recently lost in his Jeep (and that’s all I have to say about that).

Anyway, I reached into the little dish and didn’t see them. I started moving the couple of other items around, thinking that they must be underneath something, but soon it was apparent that they were not in there. I looked around, thinking maybe I’d missed the dish when I went to drop them in the last time I’d worn them a few days prior, and that I’d find them right next to it, but I did not. I continued looking with more urgency, but it soon became apparent that they were not there.

I’ve had them for more than twenty years. Tears fell. I asked my son, my daughter, my husband. No one had seen them. I didn’t know where else to look. I decided to try something I’d tried when I’d lost something else recently: writing it on The Universe’s  “to do” list: Return my lost earrings to me today. Then I tried to put it out of my mind, hoping that The Universe would come through for me like it had last time I’d called upon it.

So. At the end of the day they had not shown up. The next day, I thought about revising my note and thought about what I’d written: to return them to me today. Realizing that my note was still good, I decided to just leave it alone and try once again not to think about the situation. Then at 4:30Pm I suddenly became aware of a clear thought that had formed in my mind:

“Look in the container by the door where you put your keys, watch, and phone when you come  home for the day.” Holding my breath, I looked in but at first didn’t see them, so I took the container over to the kitchen island and started removing the odds and ends that had collected in it…and there they were.

I WAS SO  HAPPY! Well, except for the fact that I have absolutely no memory of putting them in there whatsoever, and I am forced to acknowledge the simple fact that only I could have put them there, so I even though I found my earrings, it’s clear that I am losing my mind.

Hello, mid-life.

How to plant asparagus and potatoes (spring garden part 2)

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, gardening
The asparagus

After the rototilling (thanks, Bill!) and the fertilizing and the leveling the soil in the raised beds with a rake was finished, we started planting. About a quarter of one of the gardens was planted with asparagus about 3 years ago, and we both love it so much we decided to expand that garden. We planted Jersey Giant, Martha Washington, and Purple Giant varieties, which were all the ones that we could find locally.

At first glance, the asparagus crown (as it’s called) is not attractive; it looked sort of like an octopus, actually. I’m not sure I would have known what to do with it, but fortunately  my husband did. After removing the rubber band that bound them, it became evident that the one big octopus was actually 8 individual octopi. We teased them apart and buried them in the raised beds about 8 inches deep then covered with 2-3 inches of soil per the package instructions. The crowns are spaced 8-12 inches apart. Water ’em in. Call it a day.

The potatoes are planted in a similar manner. These at least look like what they purport themselves to be. We planted Baby Yukon Golds. My husband said the package planting instructions usually say to quarter the potatoes before burying them but since this package did not, we didn’t.

Now we have 3/4 of one 8 x 12 raised bed planted with asparagus, and 1/4  with baby Yukon golds.  The books say not to harvest asparagus until it’s been growing for something like six years. This is supposed to help the plant get better established by sending the plant’s energy back into the roots (or something like that).  It’s been 3 years now for our first crop, and we’re going to be brave and cut a few spears in a day or so. We’ve decided that we’re willing to risk it, especially now that we have so many more crowns in the ground! 🙂

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Rate your mate

by Karen, posted in relationships

The March 2011 Cosmopolitan Magazine contains The Sex Quiz for 20-somethings to take to find out what…well, you can do that math.

I decided to design a quiz that we forty(and over)-somethings can take to gauge the viability and durability of our marriages (or other less formal but no less consuming unions).

Here are the rules: read each question, then answer a,b, or c. Go!

  1. Looks: He’s a) drop-dead gorgeous! b) not bad to look at c) drop-dead drab, but he’s mine and I love him
  2. Sex: He a) rocks my world! b) Sometimes he’s not too tired c) I lie back and think of England
  3. Housework: a) He could be on the cover of Porn for Women (he’s that good)! b) He knows what a vacuum is and he’s not afraid to use it…but that’s it c) He says, “My father never did housework and neither will I!”
  4. Parenting: a) I wish he’d been my father! b) He’s got some…issues c) He’s not even sure how many kids we have!
  5. Hygiene: a) He could be on the cover of Men’s Health Magazine! b) He has pretty good aim… c) I have to remind him to shower; ugh!

Okay, so it’s a short quiz, but hey, women our age are short on time, aren’t we?

So, how’d you do?

Mostly a’s: OMG! Are you married to my husband?!

Mostly b’s: There’s still hope. Consider calling one of the Dr. Lauras: Schlessinger or Berman for a consult.

Mostly c’s: Be thankful that there’s no more Dating Game. Consider setting up a profile on Match.com.

What do you think of my quiz?

Spring garden, part 1: the herbs

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, fitness, gardening, health
Chives

In honor of National Herb Week (first week of May) we’re starting to get our herb garden into shape for this year. A quick tour of the raised bed revealed a nice surprise: some of last years perennial herbs have greened up already and are looking pretty edible.

The first ones I noticed were the chives. As Stephen King says in the story “A Good Marriage” in his book Full Dark, No Stars, they are “upright and sniffin’ the air”. 🙂 Makes you want to cook something, doesn’t it?

The lemon thyme is just as beautiful, but currently is pretty flush with the ground so is not as readily visible. One of the prettiest plants in there right now is the lamb’s ears. Just one is up right now…so my husband asked me if it could hear me okay since it had only one ear…ha ha.

There were a few varieties of strawberries tucked in there last year, and I can see they are starting to send out some shoots; more shoots means more strawberries for me. Yay!

I’ve already got my annual rosemary plant waiting to go into the garden, but it’s not looking too healthy (as of this writing) so I’m hoping she hangs in there for a few more weeks on the kitchen counter.

Any of you have herb gardens? What are you growing this year?

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Addendum: Rosemary is dead. Oh well. Off to buy a new one!

Write it down, make it happen

by Karen, posted in books, Date night, family, fitness, health, Life in the cube, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Someone's gotta say it, tweens, writing, yoga

Okay, it’s a book (not mine!) title. It occurred to me to apply the philosophy of: “If you build it, they will come” espoused by James Earl Jones and put into force by Kevin Costner in the Field of Dreams movie which coincidently (?!) contained a female lead character named “Karen” (not sure how she spelled it!) played by Amy Madigan.

I decided to build my perfect work day.

  1. Get up–not too early.
  2. Get some exercise. I like Stephen King’s idea from his book On Writing where he would take writing breaks and jump on the treadmill that was next to his writing desk (if memory serves). A little bit of yoga couldn’t hurt…
  3. Get some coffee–oh wait! That should be first!
  4. Get some breakfast (ABO…or “Anything But Oatmeal” :)).
  5. Write until noonish.
  6. Get some lunch.
  7. Check email, blogs, FB (you know, all the usual time-sucking suspects) etc.
  8. Read until 4pm. This is when I get to make a small dent in my pile of books, magazines that I am dying to read but have no time to.
  9. Get some more exercise…go for a walk? At the beach! Look for sea glass, sand dollars, unusual rocks and shells. Sigh. Life is Good.
  10. Watch DVD’s or preferred TV series of the moment (The Good Wife, Survivor, Breaking Bad) with my husband.

What does a perfect day for you look like? Quick! Go right it down; then maybe you can figure out a way to make it happen! 🙂

Oh, Rob! (Picnic date night)

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, local fun, restaurants

I admit it: I have crushes. All the time. My husband is pretty tolerant of them. He even produced a picture of Boston Rob for me for Christmas last year (downloaded from the internet and printed…in color!). I’m exceedingly happy now that Survivor is back with its new season, Redemption Island.

For date night this particular week we decided to have a picnic. What else would you do in March in Maine?

We had no babysitter, but then our daughter had plans for a couple of hours in the evening. At the last minute we decided that we didn’t want to go out (6:30-8:30 is late when you get up before dawn!) so here’s what we did instead:

  1. Dropped the tweens (daughter and friend) off at their movie.
  2. Called in an order to Pizza Napoli. March specials going on are pretty good. We took advantage of one of the March specials: “buy any large pizza get a free small cheese pizza”.
  3. Came home, rummaged in the fridge for a bottle of wine. The first one was vinegary, so we found a bottle of our favorite wine: Moscato D’asti…so what if it’s supposed to be a dessert wine? We both love it.
  4. Moved the coffee table and spread out our “picnic” on the rug.
  5. Find The Good Wife episodes that we DVR’d but had no time to watch. (Man, has it really been since February 8th??).

Then we had to both get our stuff ready for work, so we called a brief time out to see to that and to get our daughter settled (whom her friend’s parents were nice enough to bring home for us).

Oh, the “Boston Rob” thing? That’s just for laughs. The husband thing?  He’s the real thing. 🙂

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Put on a happy face

by Karen, posted in family

So, it’s cold and dark outside most of the time now, with the (nearly daily) threat of snow looming large, and it can be hard to find your happy place.

You may not even notice that you’ve lost it at first. Maybe a family member (read: husband) or a friend says, “Hey, what’s up? You don’t seem like yourself lately,” and you say, “Nothing’s up. I’m fine,” followed by the standard, “I’m just tired.”

Then you get to thinkin’…well, work isn’t what it used to be, and I really have been feeling tired lately…and that annoying bill that came in the mail and they overcharged me and I have to call about that…there’s a half hour of the day gone, just to get through the phone tree and get a human on the phone! And don’t even get me started on the laundry! OMG! Miss one day and what happens? You’re inundated!

But then something really nice happens: your husband comes home with flowers unexpectedly (for you!). Your child gets a 106 on her test.  Your son gets promoted at work. And you remember…”Life (really!) is good”…

What this woman got: Valentine edition, part 3

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Holidays, local fun, movies, restaurants, tweens

First order of business: skip the gym.

White chocolate chip, chocolate chip, and craisin cookies for bake off

My husband and I had planned to celebrate the day during the child-free hours we had, from 7am until about 3:30pm (the school day). There was a medical appointment (mine) at 10:30am, but that was quick and we didn’t let it mess up our day.

Which was good, because there were other things ready and waiting to do that.  My daughter’s school is having a bake- off today and we thought that the cookies she was entering had to be there by 2pm Tuesday. Wrong. She called me at 9am to say the cookies actually had to be there by 2pm Monday, the day before.

Valentine’s Day. The day of our date. So, I scrambled to get the dough made before my appointment, then rushed home to bake them after my appointment. Got them to school at 1pm, ahead of the deadline, but that left us only a little part of the day to celebrate.

We had lunch a quick lunch at Jake’s Seafood on route one, then headed to the Harbor Candy store where (surprise!) they did NOT have any chocolate dipped strawberries, which was my purpose for going there. I was on a mission! That was the thing that I wanted. 😦 Plus, it was a little disconcerting to see that they had more Easter candy for sale than Valentine’s Day candy. Huh? When is Easter, anyway? (Hel-lo? It’s more than two months from now!)

Dark chocolate dipped strawberry from VFM

I always get a dark chocolate covered cherry and eat it at the counter when I go to Harbor Candy, but today was an exception. I was too annoyed. We left without buying anything, and we went into the Village Food Market in Ogunquit (just a few doors down) and (hurray!) they had a whole tray of them! Something finally went our way. They were even dipped in dark chocolate, my favorite, but  Bill? not so much. I swear I’m going to convert him to the dark side, but my efforts thus far (with the dark side of candy, at least :)) have met with failure.

Next, to Ogunquit Beach to look at the ocean. Can you believe that it was 51 degrees at 2pm on Monday?? That was the best gift of all, dont’ you think?

Then we were headed home with about an hour left before the tween got off the bus from school when (surprise again!) she sent me a text saying that the after school activity was canceled and she was on her way home.

I mean, are you kidding me?

After homework, supper, laundry, and tween bedtime we  got into bed to watch our Netflix movie: Glee: Season one: Disc one. Well, I laughed, I cried, yada yada. But hey, really, what better way to end your Valentine’s Day than a little Glee in bed? Ha!

Today was  a day where not much went according to plan, so not the best Valentine’s Day ever, but that’s okay, because I have the best Valentine ever: my husband!

P.S. It’s day 5 but my bouquet is still looking great!

What do women want? Valentine edition Part 1

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Holidays, italian, local fun, restaurants

Maybe you’ve been happily married for many years, and have successfully navigated several Valentine’s Day holidays. Maybe you’ve had some great successes with figuring out what your spouse might like, and then actually being able to deliver it.

One thing that you can do for your female significant other that will almost definitely be well received is to take her out to (read: spare her the chore of making and cleaning up from) dinner.

Varano’s in Wells will have a special Valentine’s Day menu (sorry, no prices included on the website). They open up at 4:30p and really, you can’t get a bad meal at Varano’s.

Duffy’s in Kennebunk (currently hidden behind all of the bridge construction) is offering a 3 course dinner for $29.99 for two that includes a shared appetizer and dessert and two main courses (choose from 3). This is available Saturday and Sunday as well as Monday, so if you are working on the actual day, or just an overachiever who wants to get a jump on things, this may be a good bet for you.

If you are not the most punctual sort of suitor, all is not lost: Angelina’s is having a special Winter Wine Dinner for $65 per person on February 24th at 6pm. Same sort of idea with a fixed menu from which to choose but with wine (hence the additional cost) added. They are also open on Valentine’s Day but no special menu is mentioned in their ad.

So, if going out to eat is your idea of a great date, there’s plenty of choices to entice you to venture out into the freezing, freezing cold dark to get some great food.

February date night

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, local fun, movies, restaurants

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve been able to have a date night due to college classes resuming for our elder child (who babysits our younger child), but the planets aligned so we got our dinner and a movie.

The dinner part was at Ruby’s in York. We got the coupons from the SuperCoupons monthly mailer and I actually remembered to bring them this time and they even hadn’t expired yet, so we were off to a good start.

We ordered a McCann’s pizza which is bbq sauce, chicken, bacon, and cheese on a thin crust. We also got an order of fowl fingers with torch sauce on the side. These two menu items were the reason that my husband wanted to go there, so he was happy. The big letdown for me was that they were out of sweet potato fries, which was the reason that  I wanted to go there, so I wasn’t so happy

(NOTE: It’s worth it to go early for dinner since from 4-6pm on weeknights the appetizers are half price).

It continued to be a boy’s night because it was Bill’s turn to choose the movie. He chose True Grit, and just in case the title doesn’t tip you off, I’m here to tell you this: chick flick it is not. I actually (in hindsight) would not consider this a good choice for a “date night” movie…warm and fuzzy it also is not. Not one little bit. Not for one instant. It was all hard edges and angst. (Okay, there were one or two little laughs, but they were wrapped in blood and gore and so therefore hard for me to appreciate).

My husband thought that this movie was great. I thought that it was difficult to watch. It was violent, grossly (heavy on the “gross”) violent at times, and there were a couple of occasions of violence before which there was no fair warning (read: time to cover my eyes). My husband managed to tell me “don’t look” just in time for one of these, which I greatly appreciated.

We didn’t even agree on the ending. I said, “It didn’t even have a happy ending to make up for all of the difficult-to-watch parts!” and he said, “What? It did have a happy ending,” bewildered by my assessment.

And there you have it: men and women are different.

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So there you go.