Author: Karen

I am an RN, Author, Coach, and Speaker. I write novels about relationships to help people find insight into their own. I guide people to create comfort, clarity, and connection in their lives. By combining metaphysical tools with over twenty-five years of nursing experience, I infuse the 'art of nursing' into my practice by providing partnership and resources help people compassionately honor their health.

Writing class

by Karen, posted in books, education, local fun, writing

I signed up for a class through the local adult ed office: Writing Memoir taught by Katherine Mayfield. There were 8 of us registered for the class, which is held on two consecutive Monday nights. When one person did not show up on the first night it made us a group of 7.

The group started just about on time, but in fairness the instructor was waiting for the missing student (but only for five minutes). She began by having us sit in a circle and we went around and (briefly) introduced ourselves to the group. Then the agenda was presented: a short talk by Katherine about what memoir is (creative non-fiction) and is not (autobiography), followed by some questions and answers.
Then we got down to writing. A prompt was given but we didn’t have to use it. We wrote for 10 minutes (Katherine gave us a one minute warning so we could finish up) and then we took turns (by volunteering) reading aloud to the group the pieces that we wrote.

This is where Katherine’s class differs from one I took a few years ago. She offered suggestions for how to structure the feedback that we providing to each other in a safe, non-threatening way (for example, referring to the writer as ‘the narrator’ instead of ‘you’). She even went so far as to say that if the writer determined that the writing produced during the exercises was too personal, (s)he did not have to share it with the group. I found this to be tremendously freeing.

I knew that I would be reading aloud what I wrote because, after all, that was one of my objectives for signing up: to see what other people thought of my writing. Still, it was a gift to know that the decision about whether to share my writing ultimately, was (just as it always is) mine.

Katherine brought a couple of resources for us to look through but I forgot about that while I was there. This book: Writing the Memoir by Judith Barrington is one of them, which I have seen before and I may even have already; I’m embarrassed to admit that I can’t remember! (Please refer to prior blog posts about clutter).So, I will be checking my bookshelves first, and if I don’t find it then I’ll check the Library’s bookshelves next.

P.S. Everyone shared their work and their nice, motivating comments with one another. It could be that 7 is a lucky number. 🙂

My one word: March update

by Karen, posted in family, Life in the cube, my one word, Pantry Project, tweens, writing

This is how March went:

  1. Changed sheets on bed: threw out excess of two sets (one set for the wash, one set for the bed is really all I need).
  2. Brought one book or magazine a day (well, most days) out of the house and gave away.
  3. Brought clothing that my daughter has outgrown to give to others who have daughters that are wearing that size now.
  4. Pared down what is in my work space in the cube to less than half of what had been there prior. If only I could lose as many pounds as my cube did this month!
  5. Unsubscribed from many of the automatic emails I was getting. Tedious, time-consuming clutter eliminated from my inbox!
  6. Working my way through  editing my manuscript… almost half finished!!!!

I am also wondering if my one word should change, or better yet, maybe I could keep the word “EDIT” since it seems to be working beautifully but consider it my major, like in college. Then I can add a minor (word), which is “FOCUS” (actually, this word was suggested by my husband; ‘nuf said).

I actually have been trying out my minor (word) this month and am finding it also to be a very effective tool.

Does having two “one words” mean I’m cluttering up my New Year’s Resolution? Will have to consider this. I guess I’ll see how it goes in April.

Change. Is. Good.

by Karen, posted in education, Life in the cube, Midlife Crisis

Repeat after me…change is good. Change is also hard. For every good reason you can think of to make a change, you will probably think of  almost as many reasons not to.

Here’s where a pros and cons list can come to the rescue. You can certainly do it the good old-fashioned way: take a piece of paper and pen to make your list: draw a line down the center, write “pros” on the left and “cons” on the right and have at it.

If you want to kick things up a notch, however, you can use this pros and cons list tool online. Enter your data on each side of your argument, then assign a numerical value to it using the tool as your guide. What’s great about this calculator is that you may think that think you are leaning in one direction, but after you complete the exercise with the calculator, you discover that you actually are leaning in the other direction! Hey, it could help!

Another cool thing about this is that you can print out your results when you’ve finished. I actually used this to make a decision that I though I had already made, but after I completed the pros and cons list tool I was surprised by the outcome. It compelled me to revisit (and ultimately, change) my decision.

See? It’s just like they always say: “You never know”; also, “It ain’t over till it’s over”.

Lunch on the lam

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, Life in the cube, quest for the best, restaurants

Sometimes life in the cube can get overwhelming. Have you ever been at work and just wanted to take a break? I mean, really, take a break. Change the scenery for a half an hour? Not make small talk? Not force positivity for just a little while?

This is when an audio book can come in handy; it’s particularly conducive to hands-free eating. Okay, so the price of gas is prohibitive, I know. You wouldn’t want to sit in your car with it running for 20+ minutes every day (especially in the winter when you need to have the heat on, but once in a while it can be very restorative).

If you brought your lunch you will gain extra precious minutes of solitude in  your car (read: oasis of calm); just grab your lunch bag and go. Otherwise, try to choose a place from which to buy that is not known for its lunch time crowds. Standing in line for 10 minutes can make a serious dent in your alone time.

If you have to purchase your meal and you have any control over the timing of your lunch break, that’s even better. Choose a time that is off-peak: perhaps 11:00am or 2:00pm. This ought to get you out of the store and into your car more quickly. Don’t forget extra napkins. Eating in the car can be fraught with peril, what with the gear shift and the steering wheel to navigate and all. Also your choice of meal can make things more tricky (hel-lo, meatball sub?).

On this day I chose soup from Kamasouptra in Portland. The curried Pumpkin Bisque Soup won out over the other five options (so okay, maybe it’s winter-almost-spring, but it feels like fall-almost-winter). The real draw for me (even though the soup is excellent) is the bread, still warm from the oven. What can I say? The value of comfort food cannot be overstated.

Especially during the work day.

🙂

Sunday with tweens

by Karen, posted in family, tweens

I took my daughter to see Rango. Johnny Depp or no Johnny Depp, I couldn’t have cared less about seeing this movie.

I took her because we had nothing better to do. I took her because it was the only kids movie playing. I took her because I couldn’t concentrate on writing anymore and needed a change of scenery.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I liked this movie! It was great! It was funny! My daughter thought that it was too long, but she liked it anyway. Some of the characters were supremely unattractive (a fact with which Izzy agrees), so much so that they were…um, difficult to look at.

That’s really the only fault I can find with the movie.

Maybe we were predisposed to like the movie since we went to the Cupcake Fetish Bakery and loaded up on goodies prior to getting to theater.

I highly recommend doing both. 🙂

Expanding the flock~(revised)

by Karen, posted in chicks, family, local fun, raising chickens

…is proving to be no easy task this spring. My husband anxiously anticipated the arrival of the chick catalogues, nad contacted some new (to us) hatcheries for their catalogues, and planned to get some chicks from New Mexico in March and from Texas in June. At the end of February they wouldn’t accept the March order; they wanted to send them the next day, but we learned last year (the hard way) that February in Maine is too early to get the chicks. When he called back in March (two weeks later), there were no chicks to be had…until June. He made some more calls to other vendors and was given the same verdict.

Bummer.

This is the first time this has ever happened since we first started raising chicks in 2006. Next, my husband hit the road to see what the stores in our area were offering.

We were hopeful as we entered Tractor Supply Company in Sanford…but alas, the only “peeps” they had on Monday were the marshmallow kind, just to the right of the door as you enter the store, and the stuffed kind (the ones that actually “peep” when you press on their stomachs~too cute!). On the plus side, this gave me a nudge to get going with my Easter Basket planning. Note to self: go back to Tractor Supply alone (read: without husband who doesn’t get the whole “Easter Basket” concept) to shop for the baskets.

Longhorn? They’ll have them on Monday. Tractor Supply? Has some now, but not any that we want.

The idea of hatching our own is starting to look more appealing…

Anyway, the stage is set (warming lights on, tiny waterers at the ready) in our home-made brooder (which is a 4×4 wooden box). If and when the chicks arrive, we are ready!

The ides of March~Grieving my dead relatives part 5

by Karen, posted in family, good grief
John

I always liked the sound of “The Ides of March” from when I’d first come upon the phrase in my reading of Shakespeare.

In 1998, it took on a new meaning: the day that my father died. He was on hospice so his death was no surprise. My mother’s (who had died 2 years and 2 weeks earlier) birthday was March 13. He hadn’t been eating or drinking much for several days before her birthday, but on that day, he perked up. He was laughing and joking, almost his old self. He sat up in his hospital bed (that was in the middle of the living room) and asked for a fried clam dinner with french fries and cole slaw and dinner rolls and God only knows what else.

So, my brother ran out to get his requested meal, which (as you probably guessed by now) turned out to be not only his last supper, but also his last lucid day. We didn’t think it was any coincidence that it was my mother’s birthday that he chose to perk up, or that 2 days later he followed her and died.

I like to have a fried clam dinner on or around March 15th in honor of my dad, like I buy primrose around February 29th in honor of my mother. The only problem now is…where to get it!

 

March 13

by Karen, posted in family, good grief
Family of heart shaped rocks from Ireland

My mother’s birthday is was March 13; she would have been 71 this year. I wasn’t going to write a post about her because I just published one a couple of weeks ago, but here we are. The day started off as many do, with a quick look at Facebook to see if anything was going on.

So, the first thing I saw was something posted by Jeannine entitled: A letter from Mom and Dad (dad died years ago on 3/15). I mean, are you kidding me? So I watched it, and cried. Off to a good start.

Next, another FB post, this time by my sister-in-law, where she describes the boiled dinner she is making today…Andrea mentions that she makes it the way her mother-in-law, my mother, did. Sniffle.

Then we went to my friend Susan’s house. She had recently been to Ireland and brought my daughter and me back some presents. Mine included a “family” of heart-shaped rocks. More tears.

After a bit, I pulled myself together and we chatted for a while, then we gathered around the laptop so that Susan could show us pictures of Ireland that she took during her trip. I reminded my daughter that we were half Irish, so she should be especially interested in viewing these pictures of the country. “I didn’t know you were Irish!” my friend said. Well, it’s no wonder, since I’m usually going on about my Italian heritage. My mother, however, was Irish.  I told Susan, “As a matter of fact, it’s her birthday today.” As we sat and watched Susan’s wonderful pictures of and stories about the places she had been (I nearly started crying again), I suddenly thought, “Okay, Ma, so you’re showing me that you’re here today, making sure that we remember you on your birthday! We do!”

And we did. Surrounded by love. Solid as a (heart-shaped) rock. 🙂

(Gee, maybe turning those clocks ahead really wreaked some havoc with my equilibrium!)

My New Year’s Word: February update

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, education, family, my one word, Pantry Project, tweens

Okay, so it’s March, not February. I meant to post this last month and just realized that I never did. One weekend, thinking about my New Year’s word which, as you may recall is “Edit”, I helped my daughter edit her room. We purchased risers to lift her bed up high enough to allow and underbed storage container to fit underneath. We dismantled the bed, vacuumed it all out, changed all the bedding.

My husband started during the week, working their way around the periphery (like at the supermarket? The way you’re “supposed” to shop to get the healthy food, right?). They attacked the furniture surfaces (read: clutter magnets) first: bureau, nightstand, corner table, desk. They next moved on to the closet, completing the top shelf and the floor.
I took over on the weekend, finishing the contents of the closet and all of the (5!) bureau drawers. When we were finished, we had 4 stuffed trash bags of things she didn’t need/want/use/wear anymore!

I was so motivated by how great her room looked that I proceeded on to do my own closet (well, most of it) and my (6!) bureau drawers. I took out 2 1/2 bags of cast offs.

I read the book : 30 Days to a Simpler Life by Cris Evat about 10 years ago, and still have it. Okay, okay, I save things. It’s what I do. My mother threw away everything, including all of my childhood belongings, and I guess that I responded to this by never throwing away anything (at least, that’s what my  husband will tell you!) but sometimes I really do need something that I haven’t used in 10 years! So I have my book out, dusted off, and am consulting it as a tool to help me with my objective for 2011: editing!

One of the most effective suggestions in this book, and the one I still use to this day, is this: go around the house (or you can focus on just one room; it’s up to you) with an empty bag and fill it. With what? With anything that you don’t need/love/use/want anymore. Anything that you can part with that will give you the gift of this: empty space. Go ahead, try it. The book suggests that you do it every day, but even if you only do it once, that’s still one whole bag less of clutter in your home.

Try to resist the urge to fill it back up right away (you know you’ll want to). 🙂

Oh, Rob! (Picnic date night)

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, local fun, restaurants

I admit it: I have crushes. All the time. My husband is pretty tolerant of them. He even produced a picture of Boston Rob for me for Christmas last year (downloaded from the internet and printed…in color!). I’m exceedingly happy now that Survivor is back with its new season, Redemption Island.

For date night this particular week we decided to have a picnic. What else would you do in March in Maine?

We had no babysitter, but then our daughter had plans for a couple of hours in the evening. At the last minute we decided that we didn’t want to go out (6:30-8:30 is late when you get up before dawn!) so here’s what we did instead:

  1. Dropped the tweens (daughter and friend) off at their movie.
  2. Called in an order to Pizza Napoli. March specials going on are pretty good. We took advantage of one of the March specials: “buy any large pizza get a free small cheese pizza”.
  3. Came home, rummaged in the fridge for a bottle of wine. The first one was vinegary, so we found a bottle of our favorite wine: Moscato D’asti…so what if it’s supposed to be a dessert wine? We both love it.
  4. Moved the coffee table and spread out our “picnic” on the rug.
  5. Find The Good Wife episodes that we DVR’d but had no time to watch. (Man, has it really been since February 8th??).

Then we had to both get our stuff ready for work, so we called a brief time out to see to that and to get our daughter settled (whom her friend’s parents were nice enough to bring home for us).

Oh, the “Boston Rob” thing? That’s just for laughs. The husband thing?  He’s the real thing. 🙂

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