Tag: books

Another book to read

by Karen, posted in books, Date night, Marriage, relationships, writing

The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay MarriedThe Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married by Iris Krasnow
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I thought this book rocked. I was especially happy to find it when I did: at the end of my writing “How to Stay Married in Midlife” and launched the “Sharpen Your Knives” blog (http://sharpenyourknives.wordpress.com/), and not before or during that process. The book includes stories from women who have been married for a long time, and includes their strategies for having been able to stay married. Hint: some are sort of kinky. Iris sprinkles in anecdotes from her own marriage, about which I am not sure how I feel. It might have been okay if she had confined her marriage story to one chapter. Instead, she randomly sort of randomly puts in her two cents where maybe it isn’t needed. In some of the stories, the women retain their anonymity, in some they just let it all hang out. You get to hear from women who are in their 70’s and (yep) are still married. It’s really a quite hopeful, “You can do it!!” sort of a book. Definitely worth reading.

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A very interesting book

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, baking, books, family, friends

Breaking Bread: Recipes and Stories from Immigrant KitchensBreaking Bread: Recipes and Stories from Immigrant Kitchens by Lynne Christy Anderson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was mostly interested in the story told by the immigrant from Italy, and I was not disappointed. The woman’s words were very compelling to me. She talked about the difference between growing up in Italian culture, as she did, and growing up in American culture. She talks about American society as linear, and Italian society as more disorganized, messy. She concludes that this affects our neurological development. The example is shopping in supermarkets here that are laid out neatly in lines, and shopping for food in the Italian outdoor markets that are like noisy mazes. She feels that she, who grew up in Italy, has had a great benefit to her cognition that her son, who is growing up here, has not. She longs to take him to Italy. It made me long to go there too. This chapter alone made the book completely wonderful and worth reading for me. It essentially gave me a perspective on growth and development that I had never thought of before. Check this book out. Find YOUR chapter.

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Mary Ann Esposito’s new book

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food

Ciao Italia Family Classics: More than 200 Treasured Recipes from 3 Generations of Italian CooksCiao Italia Family Classics: More than 200 Treasured Recipes from 3 Generations of Italian Cooks by Mary Ann Esposito
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It’s by Mary Ann Esposito…what else do you really need to know? Well, here’s one thing: follow her on Facebook: she is quite generous with her tips and recipes!

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Thoughts on writing

by Karen, posted in books, family, friends, my one word, no fear, Work from Home, writing
My first book written during NaNoWriMo 2010

Okay, I was going to entitle this post “On Writing” but didn’t want to piss Stephen King off. This is my second year participating in the NaNoWriMo challenge. For those of you that wonder what that alphabet soup of letters stands for, it’s National Novel Writing Month and it takes place annually in November. Basically, we commit to writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.

Seriously.

Why did I participate this year when the book I wrote last year is still languishing on the shelf, so to speak? When I asked not only my husband but my Angels (at the Clay Hill Farm Angel Reading in October) if I should do it and they said, in a word, “No”?

I don’t know. But here’s something that I do know: as I sat here on November 27, and I typed my 50,000th word….it felt freakin’ fantastic!!!

So now I’m going to borrow one of  Oprah’s favorite sayings: “What I know for sure” on the evening that I finished my second NaNoWriMo and my second book (draft):

  1. Writing flourishes when you have deadlines.
  2. Writing is prolific when you stop editing yourself and just write.
  3. Writing gets done when you commit to doing it publicly (to me, NaNoWriMo is sort of the writer’s equivalent of Weight Watchers).
  4. Writing begets writing. The more I write, the more I write.

I also wonder if the fact that thousands of other writers are taking part in their own personal NaNoWriMo Vision Quest somehow results in a metaphysical momentum (you know, being part of something larger than yourself?)  that carries us all forward to reach the finish line.

Summer vacation (day 4)

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, italian, local fun, yoga
    1. Broke with routine and went to a second yoga class at Windsong Yoga.
    2. Housework (like taxes, no one gets a vacation from that!).
    3. Finished the book I was reading, Oxygen by Carol Wiley Cassella; didn’t like the ending much.
    4. Spent an hour at the library leafing through magazines. Fun for free! 🙂
    5. Sea Dogs game at Hadlock Field. Ate Italian Sausage with peppers and onions, french fries, 1/3 of a pretzel, ice cream sundae. Bleah.
    6. Found the copy of  The 17 Day Diet by Mike Moreno that I bought at the library book sale a few weeks ago. Sigh. Will peruse.

I’m finding that my lists that I made pre-vacation are a very useful if I use them as a guide, and very stressful if I use them as a directive.

Spaciousness (or: A Theory of Relativity)

by Karen, posted in book reviews, books, family, friends, health, Midlife Crisis, no fear, relationships, yoga

In the book What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty, she talks about the idea of spacious days.

What a concept!!!!

Mostly, my days feel jam-packed to me, without a moment to spare for anything. That’s how I usually think about them, at least. My to-do list is longer than my arm. I suspect that other mothers feel this way as well, since today I heard my friend Donna (also a mother) say those exact words.

In yoga, spaciousness is sought in your body through postures, in your mind through meditation. I’ve been searching for spaciousness through yoga for 4 years now (I’ll let you know when I find it).

🙂

Four years seems like kind of a long time to me…but as a percentage of my age, it’s not that long really. Could it be that all I really need is an adjustment of perspective?

Back to yoga class: this week, our instructor Kristen happened to mention that there was a period of her life that she would gladly relive, which sparked a conversation among the women in the class on this topic. As some of them mentioned ages that they would be interested in repeating, I did a quick review: high school? No way! Early twenties? No thank you!  I soon realized that I couldn’t think of any time period of my life that I would want to live through again, but then I reframed the question: What was a happy memory?

When I asked myself this question, I got a very clear image in my mind. It was in the summer: August 1991. It was in the first apartment that I shared with my husband after we got married.  The sun was streaming in through the large windows in the dining room, shining on my infant son, born just a couple of weeks prior. I remember being in that room, gazing at the baby, standing in the sun, and realizing that I’d never been happier than I was at that moment. Twenty years later, I can still stand in that room in my mind’s eye, and still feel that happiness just as strongly as I did that day.

So, I guess time is relative, just ask Einstein. Or Liane Moriarty.

Or me.

🙂

Why Buy the Cow?

by Karen, posted in books, relationships, writing

My proof copy of my book arrived in the mail yesterday. I found it on my kitchen island when I returned home from work around 8:30 last night, in a most undignified place (at the bottom pf the pile of mail). I picked it up and said to my husband (who was standing at the sink with his back to me):

Me: Do you know what this is?

Bill: A book?

Me: Not a book…the book.

Bill: {Blank stare}

Me: My book.

Bill: OooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh; your book.

Then he turned his attention back to whatever he was doing in the sink.

I started to tear open the cardboard encasing it when a thought stopped me mid-tear.

I worked on this book for about 2 years. It was now about 9pm, I was tired, my husband was distracted…I was not giving my book the respect that it deserved. I stopped.

I’m going to wait until I have an uninterrupted block of time. I’m going to open the package slowly and savor the moment, fully aware that I am about to hold the first book that I wrote myself in my hands.

I can’t wait.

Home Office: Post book purge

by Karen, posted in books, education, my one word, Work from Home
Post purge office bookcase

It took several days and lots of cold hard decision-making, but the purge is (almost) complete. It was interesting (and sad) for me to note that I had no less than 5 books about Simplifying My Life.

We don’t know when we’ll be transitioned to working at home but we’ve pretty much been told to be on standby for a couple of weeks already. This is stressful because I”m still waiting for the desk to be delivered!  It would be really helpful if the desk arrives before person who is installing the ergonomic keyboard tray does!  Hopefully that will come next week.

First I had the thought that I had to get honest about the books. How many are there, really? I got all the books from all the hiding places…I thought. When I was done I remembered a few more places that I was keeping books in the house and ferreted them out and added them to the (rapidly increasing) pile.

The next thought I had was this: I almost never reread a book (I definitely won’t re-read a novel).  This thought was followed by an epiphany: why, then, was I keeping any book I was sure I would never read again?

I didn’t know.

Next I thought, wouldn’t  having at least one bookshelf containing only books that I haven’t yet read be wonderful?  As would having empty space on the shelf to receive new books. Heaven.

Anyway, back to the book purge. Here’s what I did with them:

  1. I put a box out at the end of my driveway with a sign: “free to a good home”.
  2. I brought some to the library for their annual book sale.
  3. I made a gift of some of them to several friends.
  4. I brought some to Annie’s Book Stop, where they give you store credits in exchange for your used books.

Then I took the what was left, organized and shelved them. When I was done, I felt fabulous. Every time I’m missing one of the books I gave away, I remember the shelf on the book case that contains a little empty space now.

Bliss.

Date night: afternoon movie

by Karen, posted in baking, Date night, family, friends, movies, relationships

We haven’t had a babysitter in a while so we decided to watch a movie at home. Next up in the Netflix Queue was The Company Men. We found out about this movie from the preview of another movie (don’t ask me which one).  I was surprised to know that it was a relatively recent movie starring Ben Affleck (and several other famous, well-liked actors: Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Costner). I hadn’t heard a thing about it before seeing the preview.

I was very interested to see this movie because it deals with a topic that is all too familiar to many of us: being “downsized” from a job by a company that is “reorganizing”. I’m not a big fan of Ben Affleck but because the topic interested me (and the Q was getting a little lean) we got it.

Around the same time I was also reading Caitlin Shetterly’s memoir: Made for You and Me. Both the movie and the book are very honest (even raw at times) accounts of what it’s like when life as you know it does a 180 degree turn. The movie follows three men who lose their jobs and the effects (for better, for worse) that it has on them, their families, their friendships. The book also talks about how much having, or not having, a job influences all aspects of life.

Both remind you what is important in life, and what is not, and ultimately, what really matters to you may not be what you think.

Setting up a home office, continued: the purge

by Karen, posted in books, my one word, Work from Home

I’ve been reading Mary Carlomango’s book Live More, Want Less slowly over a period of months. It’s organized into 52 chapters and my initial intent was to read a chapter a week (as the author suggested), then implement the “action items”  listed at the end of each chapter to help pare down my belongings, hopefully simplifying my life in the process. I started off okay, but then lost track of which week I was ‘supposed’ to be on, so now I’m picking it up occasionally and reading at random.

The chapter about books came at exactly the moment that I most needed it.  Currently I have books in many locations throughout the house. Now I am emptying out the room to use as an office that contained the bookcase and about half of our (okay, mostly my) books.  In our first home, we added on a room (not just for the books!)  and my husband had a bookcase built to fit on a wall that was very tall and very wide and accommodated all of my books: past, present, and future.  When we moved the big bookcase wouldn’t fit anywhere in the new house, so we found a smaller one at a yard sale which I am still using.

At first I thought I”d be able to reduce my collection and make it fit the space I had available,  and I did that. Unfortunately, over the years I have amassed books. I’ve been sort of stuck for the past few days as I tried to decide about what to do with not only the bookcase (where to put it in the now empty room) but also the books on it, on top of it, and in the basket along side it (full disclosure: there are more in my closet, under my bed, and in the built-in bookcase in the bedroom…oh, and in the kitchen!). When I posed this question to my husband, he said, “Maybe you don’t put the bookcase back in at all…”

That brought me up short.

Maybe I was asking the wrong question! What if I don’t put the bookcase back at all? In that case I would have (at least)one different question: What to do with the books?

To be continued…