Category: Marriage

Dance this mess around

by Karen, posted in He and me, local fun, Marriage, relationships

My husband and I went to see The B52’s last night. As far as date nights go, this was a great one. We stopped to eat on the way to the show at Margarita’s. I got a Blood Orange Margarita, and it was AWESOME. Note: There is no photo of the margarita because, sadly, I forgot my phone in the car and I my husband thought I couldn’t go the duration of the meal without it, so of course I had to prove him wrong. 🙂

Anyway, The show was great.

Except for the opening band, which was meh, therefore they shall remain nameless.

The show start time was 8:00pm, but The B52’s didn’t come out until 9:15pm. By then, it was pretty hot in there. Fred (one of the lead singers, for the uninitiated) made note of this, and then disappeared for a few songs. We thought we’d lost him, but the ceiling fans came on and thankfully, Fred came back out.

The played most of my favorite songs, including “Roam“, and “Deadbeat Club“, which is my current favorite.

They did an encore of three songs: “Planet Claire“, some song I never heard of with a telephone number in it, and (finally! finally!) “Rock Lobster“.

When they played “Dance This Mess Around“, and I was, you know, doing that, I had a moment when I realized that I was doing this same exact thing about 35 years ago. I was singing at the top of my lungs, dancing, and throwing my hands in the air like I just didn’t care (nod to Cameo‘s song), at some club in Boston that I can’t recall the name of.  It was a glimpse of how it is to live in Einstein Time, and it frikkin’ rocked.

I had so much fun (as I talked about my Metaphysical Monday video this week)! The best part? The B52’s were having so much fun too! We’ve all heard of bands that are not in love with the idea of playing the same songs over and over, the “fan favorites”, at their concerts, but this band didn’t get that memo.

If you ever have the chance to see them live, GO!

This is the best photo my iPhone could get of them, and it’s awful, but it’s all I have, so I’m posting it here at the end.

Who am I really?

by Karen, posted in He and me, health, italian, love and marriage, Marriage, no fear, relationships

My husband was very inspired this year with his choice of birthday gift for me.

He got me the MyHeritage DNA kit.

 

Me: How did you know I wanted to do that?!

He: Because every time a commercial for it came on or anyone was saying they did it for the last year, you said, “I want to do that!”

Me: Oh. Right.

Lesson: Repetition is your friend, married people. 🙂

Anyway, this will be the gift that keeps on giving, because I decided to write about it. I did the (pretty easy) test the next morning. The directions said not to eat or drink anything for an hour before you do it, so first thing upon arising was my best bet. Sure, I had to defer my first sip of morning coffee for twenty minutes, but it’s a small price to pay! I am going to find out what I’m made of!

Fear: What if I’m not really Italian?

I am feeling the fear! I am doing it anyway!

Stay tuned.

MOVIE REVIEW: Bridget Jones’ Baby

by Karen, posted in Marriage, movies, relationships

My husband was hoping for a quiet house the other night, so I obliged him by going to the movies.

😀

I’ve seen and enjoyed the two prior Bridget Jones movies, so I was looking forward to this one. And it was great! Except for one thing.*

bridget-jones-baby-official-movie-poster1

  1. I loved all the characters, the returning ones and the new ones (especially Miranda, Bridget’s new BFF).
  2. This movie is FUNNY! I laughed out loud unexpectedly several times.
  3. I went by myself, so no one was elbowing me in the ribs, saying, “Mom! Stop! Stop laughing so loud!”
  4. There were many sweet, moving moments, that had me tearing up without warning. (Note to self: You are spending way too much time alone in tears this week.)
  5. There were so many great songs in this movie! Check out #9 on the list by Lily Allen. Whoa!
  6. Emma Thompson was perfect as the obstetrician who never makes eye contact with her patient. strangely, she delivered the baby with no staff. Hello? Everyone knows it’s the nurses who deliver the babies!

So my recommendation is this: If you want to see this movie, go see it! Lukewarm reviews be damned! Don’t bother trying to bring any kill-joys with you who don’t share your Bridget enthusiasm. Go by yourself. Get your popcorn the way you want it (no extra butter!). Smuggle in your bottle of water in your pocket. Live a little (the scene where Patrick Dempsey strips off his shirt to dive into the pool is worth the price of admission, even after you factor in the aforementioned popcorn).

Also, pay attention to the end. There is a set up for a possible fourth Bridget Jones movie. Can I get a ‘Hell, yeah!’ for this?

Here’s the trailer for your viewing pleasure:

 

**Rene Zellweger’s (presumed) facial surgery was a bit distracting, but this is the only not-positive thing I have to say (#disappointed).

Rocky

by Karen, posted in Date night, Marriage, movies

Recently my husband wanted to see the movie Creed.  I had zero interest in watching it. I expected he knew that and that he would be watching it alone.

Somehow, though, we ended up watching it together.

I didn’t expect to like it, but guess what! I really did!

I thought it was a movie about fighting, violent and bloody. And it was, sort of. But it was also a sweet love story. I liked it so much!

My husband said, “You’ve never seen the first Rocky movie? Or any of them?” and I said, “Duh. No.” He suggested getting Rocky  and Rocky Balboa from the library, so I ordered them, but without much enthusiasm. What were the odds that I would like those movies too? Why not quit while I was ahead?
Anyway, after I picked them up, they sat for 2 weeks before a freak rainstorm washed out our beach plans and we decided to have the Rocky Movie night. (Yay)

Rocky

 

Here’s the thing: I loved the movies. Both of them. And it wasn’t just because of the love stories (Yo, Adrian!). It was because of the character Rocky. OMG. The more I got to know him, the more I loved him.

So, of course it’s partly due to the whole ‘he’s Italian’ thing. But, I never thought he was good-looking or anything when I (and he) was young(er). It was about who he (the character) was in the movie. His kindness. His caring. His awkward attempts to show these wonderful characteristics to others, many of whom weren’t interested at all in his overtures. Not one bit. But he perseveres. Not because who they are, but because of who he is.

And it got me. So, you know. That’s why I was crying at the end of Rocky Balboa.

 

I give it three months

by Karen, posted in He and me, love and marriage, Marriage, relationships

When my husband and I first became interested in each other, I wasn’t all in. I thought he was too good-looking, and that we’d have fun for a while, and then he’d get tired of me. Where did I get this idea? Oh, from many (many, many) of my past relationships.

   Me: “I give it 3 months, and then you’ll be on to your next girlfriend.”

   He: “No way! That’s not going to happen!”

   Me (to myself): Yeah, right.

Anyway, now, there have been one hundred three months. He encouraged me to take the leap, and we got married 25 years ago. This is a picture that my brother took of me and Bill in 2014 when we renewed our vows to each other at St Ann’s Episcopal Church.

photo by Patrick Maffeo
Take the leap

Does it look familiar? It might if you’ve seen my book! Pat took a lot of photos that day, one of which I used for the cover of  One Brave Thing.

 

So, it just goes to prove that sometimes, if you trust what you’re feeling, everything will work out okay.

🙂

Book Review: Not Even Dark Chocolate Can Fix This Mess

by Karen, posted in Adult children, author, books, Brave books, family, Life's too short to read bad books, Marriage, relationships, writing

Not even dark chocolate can fix this mess by Kathy Eliscu is so much fun to read! I started reading this book weeks ago, when it first came out, and then I Not even dark choc coversadly had to put it aside so that I could finish a project (okay, publishing my own book!). But ‘Not Even…’ called to me the whole time, patiently awaiting my return (okay, fine! I lost it! I had to invoke St Anthony to help me find it and now that I’ve finished reading the book, I can see that he had a vested interest in the recovery effort). All I can say is that it was SO worth the wait.
This book is like a page (okay 309 pages-I checked) from my own life. Maybe from your own, too. From the GYN table to the toilet stall (really? Still wrestling with wings or no wings? I win-I quit that s*** years ago! Sorry, TMI? My bad), Tink had me at “hormones”. Once I picked the book up, I couldn’t put it down again. I read it all at once.
Not Even chronicles the daily life of Tink, which is a cacophony of ringing phones, buzzing beepers, and pinging answering machines, underpinned by the love of her friends, family, and fiance.
A good life.
A few notes to author:
Kathy, my nursing cap was white with 1 blue stripe! Or was it 2? Dammit, now I have to get up off the couch and go look…
Oh, and that gray hair trauma thing in Chapter 15 (insert zipped-lip smiley emoticon here)? Total empathy for Tink (again, sorry, TMI? My bad).
Also, I have one word (okay, 2 words) to add to the ‘SHUT. UP.’ list for nurses: ‘Best Practice’.
SHUT. UP.
There are illustrations in the book. A bonus, like free gift with (book) purchase (thank you, Kathy Eliscu! And William D. Eldridge!). My favorite one is on page 133. Don’t ask me why. Art is personal, remember?!
Now I have to go. That “little portable whirlpool tub” for tired feet? Gotta get me one of those…
This book? READ IT.

(This is my review adapted from the one I wrote for amazon.com).

After you finish this book, read my book! One Brave Thing

 

Tidying up

by Karen, posted in books, He and me, Marriage

You may have heard of the book that I am reading: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. Heck, you may even be reading it yourself.

I found it on audio for free (after I bought the hardcover!) on YouTube. I sent the link out to my virtual book club (we’ve only actually read 2 books together; this would be number 3) in case anyone else wanted to read it and talk about it. Or more importantly, to read it and then to act on it.

I decided to act immediately upon finishing a section. I finished the first section that said to start with your clothes, so I did.  It took me about half an hour to empty out all the closets and drawers and make the big pile of clothes.

It took me about 11 hours to discard everything I wasn’t keeping and then to put back everything that I was keeping!

Do not let this dissuade you! Full disclosure: I did try on a lot of things before I decided to keep them. Even if the item did “spark joy” (criterion from the book), I didn’t feel joyful in too-tight pants.

After I emptied my clothes out, I took a picture of the pile and texted it to my husband (the husband who had brought this book to my attention once or twice before I bought it), who was at work.

I didn’t receive a reply.

Me: Did you get my text?

He: Yes.

Me: Well?

He: Well, what?

Me: I thought you’d be glad to see that I started on the tidying up.

He: No! It was terrible! Looking at that made me anxious all day!

File under ‘be careful what you wish for’, husband.

🙂

Mental health break

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, italian, Marriage, NaNoWriMo, restaurants, writing

IMG_0012I took a two-day break from Nano writing and went away overnight to celebrate my husband’s birthday (and, you know, to take a break from sitting! At the computer! Writing! OMG! I haven’t been able to feel two of the fingers on my left hand for a week!).  We had supper at Nolita,  a new-ish Italian restaurant in York that we like.

I felt a little bad that he hadn’t had a cake on his birthday and gotten to hear the sweet strains of the “Happy Birthday to You” song wafting toward his ears on his day, but so be it. We wanted to have the cake with the entire family, and that couldn’t happen until the following day.

When we arrived at the restaurant, my husband had to run back to the car to get his reading glasses (he is so not into my rendition of “This is what’s on the menu” that he’d rather run back out into the 27 degree cold dark night that to listen to it).

That’s when the waitress came over and I mentioned it was my husband’s birthday. She said, “Does he like tiramisu?  We give a free tiramisu for someone’s birthday.”

Now, Bill does not like tiramisu, but oh my God! I love it!  But, it was his birthday after all, so I asked if there were other dessert options and she said they have gelato. As (my) luck would have it, I’m pretty sure the only thing he dislikes more than tiramisu is gelato.

“Yes, he does like tiramisu! Bring that!” I said, conscience clear.

What I hadn’t realized (and in fairness to me, I was halfway through my Italia Margarita at the time) was that said tiramisu would be accompanied by, um, fanfare. And I’m pretty sure that if there is one thing Bill dislikes more than gelato and tiramisu, it’s fanfare. In our 26 or more (we can’t agree on this) years together, he has never, ever seen a cake coming toward him with a gaggle of servers singing the birthday song to him.

And yet, I lived to tell the tale, so it’s all good.

Also, that tiramisu rocked!

 

 

 

Clutterfly

by Karen, posted in Marriage

My husband and I are currently having an….well, let’s call it an ongoing discussion…about my clutterfulness.

I admit it. I am a clutterholic.
In my defense, I have never claimed to be otherwise.
He has visions of my father’s brown paper bags-bags and bags (and bags) of stuff surrounding his chair- after he died…and thinks of me.
I’m not like that! I don’t have paper bags filled with junk surrounding my chair!
My bags are reusable shopping bags mostly.
Hmmmm….hello, Houston?

IMG_9085.JPG

Home is where?

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Date night, Marriage, relationships, restaurants, the beach

Recently my husband and I took a vacation. This is news, because it was OUT OF STATE. Way out. Like, in NJ. Just getting the same days off from work together to go took weeks-and an aligning of the planets AND and act of congress.

What was better about Atlantic City than Wells, ME? Not much. I had to really think hard  for things.

  1.  The seagulls had black heads. Kind of cool.
  2. The ocean was WARM. WARM. The OCEAN.
  3.  The ocean was very close to the hotel; you could walk to it. There also didn’t seem to be very much
    variation between high tide and low tide.
  4. There were some different kinds of seashells from what I find here in Maine.

That’s about it.

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The best thing about Atlantic City? We were on vacation! We were together! That is all we needed.