Tag: books

What Moms want

by Karen, posted in family

The headline this week in The Portland Phoenix is “What Women Want”…which of course echoes the famous Freudian question.

This got me thinking…isn’t the real question, which heretofore has failed to be asked, this: What do Moms want?

Anyone? Anyone?

Well, I’m here with the answer to this never-before-asked question.

Mom’s want (what my friend calls) a “Party for One”. That’s it. That makes us happy. What is a “Party for One” (will I will abbreviate as PFO)? Time alone in our house.   Rules for “PFO”:

  1. Unstructured time. No appointments.
  2. No housework: this means no laundry, no meal preparation (unless it is solely for ourselves and because we really do prefer our own cooking to going out).
  3. No “just picking up a little”  in the kids’ rooms…this is a colossal time sucking vacuum that, once entered, is extremely difficult from which to disengage. Close their doors. Back away.
  4. Do whatever you feel like doing and don’t feel guilty. Watch those Oprah episodes that you’ve been taping for 6 weeks but have had no time to watch. Get out the stack of magazines that you have had no time to read. Grab a book from the pile that you hoped to get to read someday. . . PFO is that day!

Final thought:

“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?'”
-From Sigmund Freud: Life and Work by Ernest Jones, 1953

…maybe he should have asked a Mom. 🙂

Girls’ Night

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, friends, local fun, restaurants, tweens

On the (rare) days when the male members of the family are off at work, but the females have the day off, we have a Girls’ Night. Today, Girls’ Nights started early, at 7:24AM. The men were out for the day so the females were left to  our own pursuits. This is what my daughter and I did today:

  1. Breakfast: Cream of wheat for Izzy and egg white omelet with spinach, mushrooms, and roasted red peppers for me. OJ and coffee, respectively.
  2. Met up with friends at Cafe Perfecto in Kennebunk. We split a gingerbread muffin. We ate it too quickly to photograph it. It was goooooooooooooooooooooooooood. 🙂
  3. Next, browsing at Kennebooks. We bought some cards, some books, and a really cool mushroom shaped eraser with the sharpener built right in. 

    Coolest mushroom eraser/sharpener ever!
  4. Home for lunch: PB&H on homemade bread for me; grilled cheese and bacon on whole wheat bread for Iz. Then she caught up with a friend on the phone, while I caught up on the laundry, chicken tasks, and dishes. Yay.
  5. Next, North Berwick Farmers Market. My friend Rebecca was there so we got to visit a bit. Lucky for us, it was the day of their Pie Contest, and we got to try a piece of the winning pie, baked by a 9 year old girl; very impressive. Besides pie, we got some fudge, some granola, herbs to mix with oil for bread-dipping, oatmeal coconut cookies…hmmm, seems like something is missing. What is it? Oh! The (token healthy food that was the excuse for going to the farmers market) apple! I ate that at the next stop.
  6. Izzy had a riding lesson and I spent the time in the car catching up on the last 2 days of newspapers that I hadn’t gotten to yet.
  7. At 6Pm, lesson over, we headed to Johnson’s Seafood and Steak. This is our new favorite restaurant, partly because it’s right on the way home after riding, but mostly because of the pumpkin cheesecake. OMG. It’s worth going just for that.
  8. Finally, home for a movie night. We watched The Clique. Izzy had seen it before and wanted to watch it again with me. Great mother-daughter movie.

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That’s it.  She’s gone to bed; I’m getting ready to. We had a great day. 🙂

These are a few of my fa-vor-ite B’s~revised

by Karen, posted in books, family, health
Drakes Island Beach

When you have to schedule a not-so-fun medical or dental procedure on your day off, it can be hard not to look at the day as a total loss. If I can schedule it for earlier in the day rather than later, that helps some; at least I don’t spend the whole day with a root canal hanging over my head. Just get up; get the kid off to school, go to the appointment, then when it’s over, the rest of the day (such as it is, depending on your pain and/or anxiety threshold) is your own.

Shortly after it was over, I thought of some positive things on which to focus my attention:

  1. Beach: I went to the beach to sit and look at the ocean for the extra 20 minutes I had between dropping off child at school and getting to appointment.
  2. Books: I stopped off at Nonesuch Books, newly located in Biddeford (next to Best Buy), to “be with the books” for a half an hour. Just because I could. Also, buy a present (for someone else). I bought some cute little horse magnetic book clips for someone…(reference said child who loves horses above). Nonesuch has (besides books, magazines, newspapers) a lot of gifty-type things…good for stocking stuffers, I’m thinking.
  3. Breakfast: Pumpkin Muffin from Tim Horton’s. The best pumpkin muffin in Southern Maine thus far (and I have
    Tim Horton's Pumpkin Muffin

    been doing my homework). 

  4. Bed. Fear (of medical procedures) is exhausting. 🙂
  5. Best root canal ever! After thinking it through, I realized that this was true; Tina Kell at Dental Specialists of Maine is the best endodontist ever!
  6. Oh yes: the most important B of all: my husband BILL! Bill, who took me to my appointment, who took me to see the ocean, who brought me to be with the books, who took me to get my pumpkin muffin (…I think that I’ll skip over the bed part…)…thank you, Bill, for making a difficult day so much better than it might have been.

“The true creator may be recognized by his ability to always find about him, in the commonest and humblest thing, items worthy of note.”~ Igor Stravinsky 

Sometimes I have to look hard, but the good moments are usually there.

It’s all good

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, health, italian, local fun, restaurants, tweens

I was annoyed the other night, thinking that even though I was lucky to have had an extra day off from work this week, it had been all used up with medical appointments. Deciding to make them, scheduling them, dealing with insurance company in advance to try to make sure they didn’t weasel out of paying for them, transporting to and from them, waiting to be seen after arrival, waiting for test results…

The ocean

That evening, as I was telling my husband how annoyed I was, I decided to stop and change course. Why? As I was talking, I noticed that he was quickly becoming tense and seemed to be losing his good mood. I decided to change course and instead started listing what had been good about the day.

  1. I did not talk myself out of exercising in the morning!
  2. I had time to finish reading book that I was loving while I waited for my husband at his appointment
  3. My daughter told me things about her day that she probably wouldn’t have otherwise while we waited for doctor at her appointment (“Guess what! I’m an alto in the chorus this year!”).
  4. Lunch (Chinese lunch specials from Maple Leaves!) and dinner (Quattro Formaggi pizza from Pizza Napoli!) and dessert (Mocha Mousse Torte and a chocolate chip cookie as big as your head from Bread and Roses in Ogunquit!) dates with spouse.
  5. Drove down to say “Hi” the ocean for a few minutes. 🙂
  6. Appreciated having my son around the house more, now that college has started back up again.

After reviewing list, noticed that yoga was missing, and immediately jumped to the floor into “down dog” so I could include it on my list, and in my day.

I realized that my day had actually included many of my favorite things, but if I hadn’t noticed my husband’s reaction to my complaining, I may not have taken the time to stop and appreciate that it had, in fact, been a really great day!

Sometimes, when you try to do something nice for someone else, you are actually doing something really nice for yourself!

Eat, Pray, Love

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, italian, movies, no fear
Eat, Pray, Love promotional poster

 

Eat, Pray, Love came to theaters in movie form on August 13, 2010.  If you read the book by Elizabeth Gilbert (published by Viking in February 2006) like I did, you may have been eagerly anticipating the release of this movie. I know I certainly was.  

Then I saw a trailer for the movie, and noticed who had been cast to play Elizabeth Gilbert: Julia Roberts, who is one of my least favorite actresses. It’s not just because she basically has one character that she plays over and over; hey, I do like Meg Ryan. I usually do end up liking movies that JR is in though…  

 So, I reluctantly resigned myself to seeing it even though Julia was playing the lead character and therefore would most likely be on the screen a lot of the time (hello? it’s a memoir; told from the first person point of view). I went with a friend so that it wouldn’t be a totally lost Sunday afternoon…at least I would get to spend time with a friend sans children for a few hours.  

So, need I say it more plainly? My expectations were low. I thoroughly enjoyed the coming attractions (3 more good-to-see-with-a-friend movies to watch for) so I was in a good mood when the feature finally started.   

I am happy to report that the book was great, but the movie was also perfectly fine! It was not a total waste of two hours and thirteen minutes (plus travel time) after all! Of course, I love all things that have to do with Italy so it helped that the first country visited in the story was Italy.  

Also, the other actors in the film were all appealing, interesting, and (a side benefit) some were pretty easy on the eyes. 🙂 

Verdict: worth seeing.

Conscious eating (WF&G week 2)

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, education, family, health

There I was,  in week 2. Here is what I’ve learned:  conscious eating is hard. Applying those 7 principles is hard.

 Regarding principle #3:  It is very hard to not do another blessed thing when you are eating, ever. Plus, I totally miss reading while I’m eating if I am eating alone. Regarding principle #2:  It also is hard for me to always sit down while eating. I sit down for 10 hours (plus commuting time) every day that I go to work, so I always stand while I am eating on my lunch breaks.  Regarding principle #4: It’s not always possible to tell if it’s my body or my mind that wants the tiramisu.

I know now why author Geneen Roth gives workshops about how to eat consciously: I’m guessing that few, if any, people would stick with it if they didn’t have the structure imposed upon them by another (structure that they had to pay for; money motivates).

I briefly entertained the idea of applying the “80/20” rule to conscious eating, but decided that it sort of demeaned it. I mean, I could have lived with it if I eliminated numbers 2, 3 and 4….

So, bottom line is this: week 2 was a bust.

WF&G 7 guidelines: Week One

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, health, italian

Okay, so what I’m learning with applying the WF&G (Women Food and God by Geneen Roth) 7 guidelines is that I’m in trouble right away (for example, I am trying to figure out ways to sync the guidelines with the Weight Watchers Points system…and somehow, I think that is not the author’s intent…). It is also actually harder to follow all of the guidelines on workdays.

  1. Eating when I was hungry seemed like a “no-brainer’, but if it is true that what I’m hungry for (often) isn’t food, then I really had to stop to consider if I was hungry. This is diametrically opposed to: it’s 12:30; time for lunch! I decided to try to use a scale of 0-10, with “0” being not hungry and “10” being stomach growling non-stop. I would try to eat at the 4-5-6 range.
  2. Not eating in the car? OMG! Does this include Altoids? Tictacs? Gum? Does downing a McD’s caramel frappe comprise an act of eating?
  3. Eat without distractions….this is the hardest one for me. It was a total wake up call too; I had no idea how often I was doing other things while I eat, for one thing. The worst thing though, is that I love to read while I eat, something I’ve been doing since childhood. (Sob!). Plus, on a workday, I often eat breakfast on the way to the gym. It was hard to wait till I arrived at work to eat. Will have to rethink that one.
  4. “Eat what your body wants” I also thought was going to be easy, but here’s the thing: I found out how often what my body is asking for is at odds with what my mind thinks is appropriate. (Example: my body wants a pizza, not a 3 point Weight Watchers meal).
  5. This one isn’t too hard at this point (eating till satisfied).
  6. Not eating anything that I wouldn’t eat “in full view of others” is also not hard for me.
  7. This one: “Eat with enjoyment, gusto, and pleasure”… No problemo! I am Italian, after all!

For now, I’ve decided that gum does not count as food/eating; Altoids and Tictacs might count, but for this week they don’t. Non-caloric beverages (water, black coffee or tea) will not count; caloried ones will (so long frappe). One week down, three to go. Is anyone else working with these guidelines? How’s it going?

Women Food and God

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, health

Women Food and God: an unexpected path to almost everything is written by Geneen Roth, who has written many books about compulsive eating and weight. She will be presenting a program at Kripalu in Lenox, MA this September. She has been on the Oprah show and some of her writings are on Oprah’s website as well.  Her recent article is entitled: The Cupcake Dialogues….hello? I mean, it doesn’t even matter what she has to say really: she had me at “cupcake”. 🙂

She also offers a self-guided online retreat.  This gave me an idea…why not try a self-guided- retreat, period? Seems like a (potentially) more cost-effective route (I say “potentially”, because if I really am eating everything I want, well, serving after serving of  tiramisu can really add up!).

So, for August, I’m going to try to live by Geneen’s 7 guidelines for just one month: August.  I wonder how it will turn out?

Kate Braestrup at Kennebooks

by Karen, posted in books
Kate Braestrup, signing her book "Here If You Need Me"

Kennebooks in Kennebunk hosted a book reading and signing Thursday evening with Kate Braestrup. She is a Chaplain for the Maine Warden Service by day…and author by night (well, this night, anyway).

The bookstore staffers let us know that Kate would be arriving late, but then they started bringing out the refreshments, so the crowd was appeased. First, pitchers of lemon water. Next, an urn of coffee. I got a styrofoam cup and filled it halfway; my expectations were very low, but I was yawning quite a bit (long day) and didn’t want Kate to think that it in any way reflected on her talk. Well, here’s a surprise: the coffee was great (since I’m a flavored coffee kind of gal, and this was straight up, that’s saying something). I quickly filled the cup up the rest of the way. Next came the treats: muffins and cookies. Someone said that this was the best offering of any book signing she’d ever attended. I second that.

Kate arrives and is fully present immediately. She first talks a little about who she is, and her job as a Chaplain. After that, she reads from her book “Marriage and other acts of Charity“. What is great about Kate is that she has excellent comic timing. If her day job (and/or her night job) doesn’t work out, she could always do stand up…she’s that funny.

Kate is also generous; she answers every question that  is asked of her with thought and feeling. Overall, Kate was warm, witty, and worth the wait. Her first book is “Here if You Need Me“. She has a third book coming out in the fall (probably November 2010) entitled “Beginner’s Grace“, and is at work on a fourth. I can’t wait.

Have any of you read Kate’s books?

(Okay, well, if you haven’t, you must).

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Put the ‘oy’ in ‘annoy’

by Karen, posted in Someone's gotta say it

I love the beach. I love it so much, that I live near it. Whenever I have a few moments of free time, I often head to the ocean to say “hi”.

Like yesterday. There was still a little daylight left after I got back home from work so I grabbed a book, a sandwich, and headed for the beach. I was very happy to find a free space. I parked, opened my windows a bit, opened my sandwich, opened my book, and settled in. For just about a minute, all was well.

Well, I forgot that it’s July now, and not April. THEY were there. You know, them: other people. With their unsmiling faces as they walk right out in front of your car to cross the parking lot without looking first.  Smoking. Coughing. Smashing their “man purses” into the front end of  your car as they lumbered by with their dripping ice cream cones. With their unleashed dogs. With their screaming children who drop their drawers and pee right on the sand (you know, where we walk? with our bare feet?). With their malodorous, unwashed bodies (hello? the rooms at the motel do have showers! It doesn’t cost extra to use them!).

Well, after 10 minutes of this, even two of my most favorite things (beach and book) lost their luster. I put up my window. I left. I didn’t look back.

I can’t wait for fall.