Category: relationships

Staying in touch

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, friends, Life in the cube, local fun, relationships

Have you ever left a job and said, “Hey, let’s keep in touch!” with a fellow coworker? Or perhaps the reverse happened: a friend from work moved on to greener pastures and you were sad when you heard her say, “Hey, we’ll keep in touch!”

Why? Because let’s face it: how many of us actually do that? Especially when you don’t live that close to each other. Live, like an hour or so away from each other. Since I am a person who is ‘directionally challenged’, I don’t drive to places that I don’t know how to get to if there’s any way to avoid doing so (yes, I’ve heard of GPS. Don’t care.).

Well, I have a friend who moved on, and we have done that “keep in touch” thing. It’s been more than a year now, I think. How are we doing it? I think the credit really has to go to my friend Shawna, because her idea was for us to meet for lunch once a month.

And we have. It helps that her new job is only about 20 minutes from where I live (and is mostly a straight line to get to :)) and that there are a lot of restaurants within a five-mile radius of her office. Even if there were none, though, it would certainly still be doable. Hey, maybe I can’t find my way to unfamiliar places, but I can pack a bag lunch!

We also meet periodically for other things too: we saw a show (Legally Blonde) at the Ogunquit Playhouse (we love the plays that Sally Struthers graces!) and we go to Merry Madness in Portland’s Old Port every year (this will be our 6th year going, weather permitting). (I think).

Keep in touch with your friends. Good ones are hard to find.

Susan Conley at Kennebooks

by Karen, posted in books, friends, good grief, health, local fun, no fear, relationships, writing

Susan Conley recently came to Kennebooks to read from her book, The Foremost Good Fortune. Susan is a Mainer, raised in Woolwich. In addition to being a great writer, she is also a great reader. Maybe this is because (as we learned in her talk) Susan is a poetry teacher, and when she reads passages from her book aloud, in her slow, sing-song-y sort of way of drawing out the syllables, the consonant sounds…it makes her book sound like poetry. Could this manner of speech perhaps be connected to her learning to speak Mandarin?

 I also learned that hula hooping and badminton are “huge” in China.  That she was involved in the founding of The Children’s Room.

“Memoir is all about honesty,” Susan says, and further states that “you feel it when it’s not (honest).”  This is why, after her writers group read her earlier drafts of this book they basically asked her, “Where are you in this?” and she ultimately rewrote so that she was now “showing up” on the page. “You’ve got to take us to those places,” her writing friend said, of “emotional complexity” that were lacking in the earlier work. Oh and of course, I learned the significance of the title of the book.

🙂

Susan started writing her book, was diagnosed with cancer, then started writing it all over again. A different book. This book. She says she told her story in the present tense in the book and thinks of it as a love letter to her sons, who she hopes will read it one day.

Finally, The best thing that I learned is that Susan has been cancer-free for three years.

Susan may be back at Kennebooks in March as part of the Maine Women Write Book Club. Consider joining! The first meeting is slated for mid-October at the time of this writing. Call (207-967-6136) or email Ann (ann@kennebooks.com) at Kennebooks for more information. Hope to see you there!

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Angels at the beach

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, good grief, local fun, Midlife Crisis, relationships

I was walking at the beach with my daughter and my husband the other day. I was thinking about how big she’d gotten, which led to thoughts of her at different ages throughout the years, and how I received that sign from my dad that I was pregnant with her.
Of course, thinking about one dead relative inevitably (for me) leads to thoughts about other dead relatives.  Wells Beach reminds me of Nantasket Beach in the 1970’s, and Nantasket beach reminds me of my grandmother. She always took me to the beach (ocean) when I was growing up, and I always think of her when I am near it, so granted, thoughts of Nana had been hovering there in the back of my mind for the past hour or so.

After we finished our beach walk we went to Forbes to get some lunch. I was telling my husband how I had been trying to get to Forbes all summer but something kept coming up and I never made it. I decided to take it as a sign that it was because I was supposed to be there this day in particular. He smiled at me, indulgently. He is used to me ascribing meaning to things that he does not.

As we were finishing up our lunch, I suddenly became aware of the conversation at the table behind me: “Nana, are you happy here at the beach? You’re an angel!”

I swear to God.

I felt a huge surge of emotion as the tears welled up and spilled forth (zero to 180 in a millisecond!).

I just finished a pretty good book that has an angel subplot: Pictures of You  by Caroline Leavitt. Check it out!

Pennies from heaven

by Karen, posted in family, good grief, relationships, tweens

Ever heard that our loved ones that have died sometimes come back to visit and when they do, they often leave clues for us that they are/have been here?

There’s even a poem written about it!

Well, this week I’ve found pennies on the floor in my house unexpectedly on three separate occasions. It reminded me of another time that I found a penny, years ago, about 13 to be more exact. My husband and I had recently decided to have a second child and I was wondering if I was pregnant. I was running out to pick up a pizza, preoccupied with this thought (about the baby, not the pizza). I pulled up to our favorite (at the time) pizza place, B&F Pizza.

As I got out of the car, I noticed a penny on the ground. I bent down to pick it up and for just a moment I thought: I wonder if this is a sign? Then I looked at the date on that penny: 1937, the year my father was born. Was this Dad telling me that I our next baby was on the way?

Shortly thereafter I did discover that I was pregnant.

Do you think it was a sign?

What do (married) men want?

by Karen, posted in Date night, Midlife Crisis, no fear, relationships, Someone's gotta say it
Blue string bikini

I don’t know about you, but when I go to the beach, I am most comfortable when almost every inch of me is covered from my chest to oh, say about mid-thigh. Let’s just say that I am a big fan of those skirted bathing suits, which my husband refers to as ‘mommy-suits’ (or in his less charitable moments, suits his grandmother wore).

I wouldn’t have been caught dead at the beach when I was in my early twenties in a bikini, never mind in my (very, very) late forties! So, imagine my surprise when  just last week I did exactly that: that thing that I thought I could not do.

That bikini in the photo to your left? Yep. That was on me. And not just in the back yard…I was out in public. At Wells Beach. In the day time.

The secret is this: you must have bikini confidence. Know you look good. Most of us women (I think) have a distorted views of ourselves, how we really look to others. What we see and what our husbands (or significant others) see are two very different things. It’s all about perspective.

State Farm has it wrong about what men want…it’s not a falcon. What  a (married) man wants ..is to see his wife at the beach in a bikini!

Who knew? 🙂

Summer Vacation: What I actually DID do

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Date night, local fun, relationships

You know how they say, “The best laid plans of mice and men…” to paraphrase John Steinbeck? Well, true that.

Half Pecan Banana Bread, Half Cherry Vanilla Chocolate Chunk cone

Day 1: Friday:  The entire day did not end up being wasted waiting for the fridge to be delivered (and the accompanying emptying out and filling back up thereof) that I anticipated when the delivery window was given as “Between 2:30PM and 4:00PM” that day. Bright and early we got a call asking if they could come at 9:00AM instead. Hel-lo? Duh! Of course we said  yes. Bonuses: 1) I was on my way to the gym and got to–er, had to turn around and go back home.  2) My husband and I were both able to attend our daughter’s Culinary Camp presentation at YCCC which was scheduled from 3:00PM-4:00PM.

We also got to go out for dinner to Pedro’s in Kennebunk, noticeably missing from the planned vacation agenda. Later we got an ice cream cone at Arundel Ice Cream Shop, which was very definitely on the agenda! We popped in our Netflix movie when we got home: Take Me Home Tonight~Pass on this one; it was pretty awful.

A word about Pedro’s: it’s great place to go. Simple, straightforward menu without too many choices to bog you down. Nice atmosphere. We sat outside on the patio this time (the first time we went there a few weeks ago we ate inside). We ordered the Flautas (which are great for sharing: an order contains two) and the Nachos Grande. The food was excellent (sorry, no pictures; my husband is getting sick of the food getting cold while I’m snapping pictures for the blog) and reasonably priced.

It was a fairly good start to my vacation. 🙂

Anyone else on vacation?

Spaciousness (or: A Theory of Relativity)

by Karen, posted in book reviews, books, family, friends, health, Midlife Crisis, no fear, relationships, yoga

In the book What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty, she talks about the idea of spacious days.

What a concept!!!!

Mostly, my days feel jam-packed to me, without a moment to spare for anything. That’s how I usually think about them, at least. My to-do list is longer than my arm. I suspect that other mothers feel this way as well, since today I heard my friend Donna (also a mother) say those exact words.

In yoga, spaciousness is sought in your body through postures, in your mind through meditation. I’ve been searching for spaciousness through yoga for 4 years now (I’ll let you know when I find it).

🙂

Four years seems like kind of a long time to me…but as a percentage of my age, it’s not that long really. Could it be that all I really need is an adjustment of perspective?

Back to yoga class: this week, our instructor Kristen happened to mention that there was a period of her life that she would gladly relive, which sparked a conversation among the women in the class on this topic. As some of them mentioned ages that they would be interested in repeating, I did a quick review: high school? No way! Early twenties? No thank you!  I soon realized that I couldn’t think of any time period of my life that I would want to live through again, but then I reframed the question: What was a happy memory?

When I asked myself this question, I got a very clear image in my mind. It was in the summer: August 1991. It was in the first apartment that I shared with my husband after we got married.  The sun was streaming in through the large windows in the dining room, shining on my infant son, born just a couple of weeks prior. I remember being in that room, gazing at the baby, standing in the sun, and realizing that I’d never been happier than I was at that moment. Twenty years later, I can still stand in that room in my mind’s eye, and still feel that happiness just as strongly as I did that day.

So, I guess time is relative, just ask Einstein. Or Liane Moriarty.

Or me.

🙂

Menaces in the garden

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, gardening, local fun, no fear, raising chickens, relationships

The garden is doing great. I might have even said amazingly great, if my husband didn’t find the disgusting green tomato destroyers munching on the vines this week. May I just take one moment to say ‘Ew’?  They are very hard to see (think Where’s Waldo); hanging on to the stems their gross little legs almost look like little leaves. If you find one, keep looking…there will be others. These yucky little encroachers travel in packs. Check the tomatoes themselves as well; we found teeny tiny little green devils on the underside of some of the cherry tomatoes. The green devil on the green tomato and tomato branches are nearly invisible. They also do not know enough to stick to their own territory. We actually plucked one of them off the eggplants! Talk about adding insult to injury!

Do you have chickens? Well, they need protein. Maybe that will motivate you to put your disgust aside for just one moment to pluck the suckers off of your plants and into your chickens mouths…hey, circle of life, babe. Or, make your husband do it. Do something nice to–I mean, for him later to make it up to him.

🙂

While you’re trolling for protein for your farm animals, don’t forget those equally gross shiny (but not happy)  Japanese Beetles. Check the leaves on your berry plants. These guys are brazen. No hiding and blending for them. If they had noses, they’d be thumbing them at you (you know, if they also had thumbs). Show no mercy. The bug traps might catch a few of them, but most likely you will be picking them off and disposing of them to save your plants.

The garden is thriving despite them. At the moment. Here’s hopin’ we can keep ahead of them.

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Why Buy the Cow?

by Karen, posted in books, relationships, writing

My proof copy of my book arrived in the mail yesterday. I found it on my kitchen island when I returned home from work around 8:30 last night, in a most undignified place (at the bottom pf the pile of mail). I picked it up and said to my husband (who was standing at the sink with his back to me):

Me: Do you know what this is?

Bill: A book?

Me: Not a book…the book.

Bill: {Blank stare}

Me: My book.

Bill: OooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh; your book.

Then he turned his attention back to whatever he was doing in the sink.

I started to tear open the cardboard encasing it when a thought stopped me mid-tear.

I worked on this book for about 2 years. It was now about 9pm, I was tired, my husband was distracted…I was not giving my book the respect that it deserved. I stopped.

I’m going to wait until I have an uninterrupted block of time. I’m going to open the package slowly and savor the moment, fully aware that I am about to hold the first book that I wrote myself in my hands.

I can’t wait.

Date night at the Ogunquit Playhouse

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Date night, family, local fun, relationships, restaurants, Someone's gotta say it

Summer of Love is the current show at the Ogunquit Playhouse. May I just say this: save your money. Skip this show and buy tickets to Legally Blonde instead, which stars Sally Struthers (among others) and runs from 8/24-9/17. I have seen Sally Struthers in two other Playhouse Productions and (both my husband and I agree on this) each one was excellent.

Summer of Love would have been better entitled Evening of Boredom. I liked some of the songs that the cast performed in this show so I tolerated it a bit better than did my husband, who was not a big fan (neither of most of the songs nor of this production). The actors were okay, but no one really stood out except for the singer who performed a cover of Janis Joplin’s Piece of My Heart. She did an excellent job; it was the highlight of the show.

Consider going to  The Blue Elephant  if you are going out for dinner before seeing a Playhouse. It’s close enough so that you don’t have to rush to get there and the service and food are excellent. I don’t have pictures of the dishes that we ordered for once because I decided to give my husband a break from having to wait to start eating (while the food cools) so that I can take pictures. We were out to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary that night so priorities came into play. We ordered the Appetizers for Two, Drunken Noodles (which came with beef and chicken), and Hot Basil Stir Fry with beef (which came with way too many onions~and I like onions). Note to self: beware ordering menu items which mention onions in the future.

This picture is of me and Bill taken shortly before we got married…we really haven’t changed a bit.

🙂