Category: Midlife Crisis

Shopping at the Ocean State Job Lot

by Karen, posted in books, Date night, local fun, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, relationships

I was at the Ocean State Job Lot today, shopping for a bug zapper (bottom left page of flyer) with my husband. Of course, once I was in there I had to look around at everything (sorry, Bill).  Did you know that you can get audio books (on CD) here for only $3.99? Many of which you may have even heard of and be interested in listening to in the car on your way back to Wells from Sanford when you are sitting in traffic on Route 109 from now until eternity, watching the workers stand around waving “Stop” and “Slow” signs at you, taunting you ad nauseam.

I bought two.

Next, I wandered over to the bathing suits. I know; I know. What was I thinking? Well, they were on sale for only $10. Some of them were even kind of cute.

After rifling through the racks for a few minutes, I found a red one-piece that was my size that was kind of interesting looking. I held it up to show my husband, who thought it was okay (I need the reality check of asking another person how something looks on me because I apparently have Body Dysmorphic Disorder–in other words, I have no freakin’ clue how I really look).
I found a clerk to ask where the fitting rooms are and surprise! Ocean State Job Lot has no fitting rooms. I decided to take a chance and buy it, thinking I could always return it tomorrow if it didn’t fit. As I was giving it a final once-over, I thought that the back of the bathing suit didn’t look quite right. Now, I’m no fashionista, but the back was very…plunging, and the butt was very…insubstantial in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on…until suddenly, it hit me. How had I not noticed how thin the strip of material at the butt was?

This bathing suit was a thong in the back! I can’t wear that to the beach!

I’m not even a little bit French!

Girls of a feather

by Karen, posted in health, local fun, Midlife Crisis, no fear, teens, Turning 50

My daughter and I got matching feathers a few months ago. Why? I don’t know. We were at a business expo and there was someone offering to feather people for $5. She said it usually costs $8 but it was a special price Today Only (certainly we’ve all heard that before).

Anyway, she wanted one so I figured it was harmless enough so we got in line. Izzy got to choose her feather from a box of multicolored styles of varying lengths. Once it was in, it looked…FABULOUS! As we walked around the expo, I was liking her new feather so much, then I had a sudden thought:

“I want one!”

So, since this is My Year of Turning 50, and I made the decision previously to follow any and all whims as they arise, I got one.

After a few weeks of living with the feathers, Izzy and I liked them so much, that we returned to Melissa at her regular place of business and got a second one.

Was that wrong?
So far, they are holding up pretty well, except that my pink feather is now completely white, which is not a problem.
🙂

 

Time: is it on my side?

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

I made a decision the week that I turned 50 and also was on vacation: I wouldn’t wear my watch. I had a couple of goals.

1. To stop being so ruled by the time of day it was (eg: “time for breakfast” or “time for bed”)

2. To make my vacation feel longer.

So for about 10 days, I didn’t wear my watch. It turned out that on the few occasions when I tried to guess the time, my guesses were usually pretty close: within 15 minutes or so of the actual time. Of course, for the first several days, I looked at my watch-less wrist to see what time it was, but then when I remembered that I wore no watch, I just said, “Okay, I don’t know what time it is,” and was okay with that.

I didn’t start wearing my watch again until today. I put it on this morning, then after i looked at it for the third time and realized that it still said 10:12AM (not to mention that it was also a day behind on the date!), the ugly truth was revealed: THE BATTERY STOPPED.

Really? Really?

Is the Universe sending me a message?

Midlife Monkey Mind

by Karen, posted in Angels, education, Midlife Crisis, Turning 50, yoga

I’ve been on overload these past few weeks, with my mind overly full of stress-inducing thoughts. Sleeping has been a challenge. Lying awake from 1:30-4:30am two nights ago, I trotted out all my tricks for putting myself back to sleep: saying my ABC’s, counting backward from 100, tensing and relaxing muscle groups, saying the So Hum meditation.

Today at yoga, the instructor coincidentally included the So Hum mediation in our class. My mind had been racing a mile a minute right up until I heard Kristen say those two words, when it screeched to a halt…for a second. I started saying the words: so hum…so hum…so hum…

Then I became aware of something interesting: although my mental voice was indeed repeating the so hums dutifully as requested, another channel in my mind was still gyrating with the monkey mindedness of my midlife brain. It never stopped. Even as my ‘good girl’ brain was desperately trying to fulfill the teacher’s request to meditate on the fact that “I am”, the ‘bad girl’ brain carried on obsessing with wild abandon.

Note to self: shut of the monkey mind when you meditate. It’s so much more effective.

Speaking your truth

by Karen, posted in Angels, family, friends, good grief, local fun, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

Over the past several months, I’ve had quite a lot to say about turning 50 this year to quite a lot of people.

That was then. Several months ago, heck, even several weeks ago, it seemed so far off in the future.

This is now. Now, it’s looming large, and for some reason, I’m finding that I have very little to say. That’s so unlike me! Usually, I’m “talking and I can’t shut up”–just ask my husband.

As part of my turning 50 and vowing to follow any and all whims that present themselves, I bought a half off Maine Deal coupon for a psychic reading by Melissa Boyd of Deep Blue Truth.

One of the things she told me (apart from that my Mom, Dad, and grandmothers were all there and said, ‘Hi!’ 🙂 ) was that my throat chakra was so backed up it was like a bottle neck. The throat chakra is #5, counting up from the bottom root chakra. This is (surprise!) the center of communication and expression.

Apparently, I am not speaking my truth. Who knew? After doing a little online research, I learned that wearing a particular bracelet–one made of Sodalite–can help. (Really? Really? If only it turns out to be that easy).

I’m willing to give it a try.

Lilac poaching

by Karen, posted in gardening, local fun, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

Lilacs are my favorite flower. They always have been, as far back as I can remember. My grandmother had a large white lilac bush in her back yard and it was one of my favorite things in the world when I was a little girl.

Over the years, we have had houses with varying numbers of lilac bushes on the property. At one point, my husband went all out and planted a lilac garden that included every color of lilac we’d ever seen or heard of. We had plenty of places to put them that got full sun and that were hospitable to lilacs and they thrived.  

That was the pinnacle.

Since then, our success with lilacs has been less exciting. My husband always tries to plant as many as possible, and then they either do well or they don’t.  In our present house, he made a huge effort and planted two pink lilac bushes on either side of the front door as a Mothers Day/Birthday Present for me one year. That was amazing and I love them.

And yet.

This time of year, I am overcome with a longing for many, many lilacs in many, many col0rs and want them in vases in every room in my house.

Currently, I have none.

Now I find myself trolling the streets of southern Maine, looking for lilacs in abandonned lots to poach. I have been known to go out at dawn to travel the back streets to cut lilacs from bushes that are in areas that could be construed as ‘public property’.

My husband has told me he will not bail me out when I get caught.

The big lie

by Karen, posted in family, friends, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

“Effective multitasking is a myth. Would you want a tooth filled by a dentist who was talking on a cell phone? “~ Downeast Magazine, April 2012, p. 25, “Time for a Driver Cellphone Ban”.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote since I read it. And when I dropped (and broke) several of the vintage Pyrex bowls I had for years. And whenI burned my finger taking a cookie sheet out of the oven with one oven mitt on instead of 2. And when I pulled the vacuum over while vacuuming  lamp shade, resulting in a 6 inch bruise on my leg.

Of course, any midlife woman has heard the “Having it all” myth too, right? Is there a bigger lie out there? Well, apart from the multitasking one?

My husband keeps telling me that I have too much on my plate. Much of what is taking up so much of my time right now is beyond my control, but I am the one who has to deal with it.  Many of you are almost certainly dealing with some administrative thing(s) that you wish you didn’t have to deal with (like completing tax returns?). Add to that eating and sleeping and keeping yourself cleaned up, all of which consumes even more portions of your day. If you are lucky enough to have a job, that might take up the majority of our waking hours most days. Add taking care of children to that list…and your day is now about 24 hours in the red, right?

I was talking to my friend Susan about how to fit everything we want to do into any given day when our brainstorming led to a breakthrough: Maybe we should be asking a different question. Not, “How do we fit everything in?”  but “How do we choose what to leave out?”

 What do you think?

Party!

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, friends, local fun, Midlife Crisis, relationships, Turning 50

I have never had friends over to my house since I moved here in 2006 that wasn’t associated with a holiday or a kid’s birthday. So, when I decided to have a Creative Memories Scrapbooking Party it was sort of a big deal.
Who to invite was the first thing to figure out. I decided to put the question on Facebook and in a few emails first to see if anyone would even be interested in such a thing. Turned out, quite a few people were interested.

Next, I decided to invite only people who said they were interested (either directly to me or indirectly, through others). I was pleasantly surprised when several of them accepted.  Then came the fun part: what to feed everyone.

Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll probably tell you that I’m all about the food. Ask my husband and he’ll probably tell you that I’m all about overdoing the food. I decided to consult my sister-in-law, Andrea, who is great at such things. I took her advice to “Keep it Simple” as well as her advice about quantities to buy.

I spent the morning cleaning the house, and with the help of my son Anthony and my daughter Izzy, we got everything ready early. Then I confidently headed out to shop with my daughter. As the day went on, the cancellations rolled in. I tried not to worry. My husband kept me laughing with text messages and phone calls…”Hello, this is the Wells Police. We have a report of a wild scrapbooking party at your house….” and so forth (thank you, Bill!).

In the end, the Tupperware Party rule prevailed: half of the people who way they are coming ultimately will not.

It was great though. We had plenty of room to work on the projects. Susan, the Creative Memories Consultant (and my friend!) had done all the prep work in advance to make it easy for even a novice scrapbooker.  The lovely women at my party ranged in age from 13 to somewhere just barely into her fifties (you know who you are!). And because it is true that I am all about the food, we had the most delicious cupcakes for dessert from Somethin’ Sweet in Sanford (check out her Facebook page for daily flavors and specials). My guests even let me bore them with my talk about my Book of Fifty (the scrapbook I am working on for my 5oth birthday year).

I had the best time ever. Thank you, everybody.

After the fall

by Karen, posted in family, friends, Karen's Kitchen, Midlife Crisis, the beach

I had a disaster in my kitchen today. I was lifting down some big Pyrex mixing bowls from a shelf, something I’ve done dozens and dozens of times. Something I do almost every day. I was lifting them down to put one back in the stack. As I brought the stack down to the counter, suddenly I heard a crash. I think I heard it before I realized what happened. One moment I was lowering the bowls to the counter, then next moment I had no bowls in my hands and there were millions of pieces of glass covering every inch of my kitchen counter, floor, and my feet.

I was shaking, so I just stood there for a minute while I took stock and tried to breathe. I know that cuts don’t hurt at first, so I was looking for blood to see how bad the damage was. Unbelievably, all of the cuts, and they were few, were superficial.

The damage to the Pyrex was worse: My 2 favorites bowls were broken: the large yellow and the large Amish.

I told my daughter and her friend to stay in her room. I realized my son was home so I called him. “I need help.” He said, “Give me a minute,” then came up, looked around, asked me if I was okay, then got to work. I would like to say that he helped me clean it up, but really, he cleaned it all up while I picked up shards of glass then put them back down again, still too shaken up to do much at all.

I thought of all that while I was walking on the beach later on this morning. I looked at the ocean and thought: The ocean makes everything better.

I was wrong though. After a few moments, I realized this: Family and friends make everything better.  I lost nothing. I have everything.

Twins!

by Karen, posted in family, Midlife Crisis, quest for the best, relationships

My husband and I bought a new couch this month to replace the one we had that was older than our firstborn. How old do you think it was? (Hint: the firstborn son is turning 21 this year).

Of course, we have purchased some new furniture over the years, but our decorating style has been largely yard sale finds and hand-me-downs from relatives, most of whom are long gone.  The TV sits on a cabinet  that used to house a TV set (remember those?). My husband gutted it and refinished the wood and it’s been in every house we’ve ever owned. I love it.

The coffee table has recently been handed over to our son. It also was hand finished by my husband and is beautiful (Son! Use coasters!). We have a small side table that was my grandmother’s and has a sort of usual design that is perfect for holding books. It used to be perfect for holding videos (remember those? That’s how long we’ve had that table).

The point is this: we value our furniture and keep it for a long time. When we got the new couch and replace the old one, we kept the two mismatched floor lamps that flanked it. One was from a yard sale and one we bought at Target, I think. After living with the new set up for a couple of weeks my husband said, “Let’s get two floor lamps that match for once. Can we do that?”

We could. We did. It’s…restful to have some matching furniture.

P.S. Surprise! One lamp went to our son, and the other one went to our daughter.