Tag: midlife

Book Review: Not Even Dark Chocolate Can Fix This Mess

by Karen, posted in Adult children, author, books, Brave books, family, Life's too short to read bad books, Marriage, relationships, writing

Not even dark chocolate can fix this mess by Kathy Eliscu is so much fun to read! I started reading this book weeks ago, when it first came out, and then I Not even dark choc coversadly had to put it aside so that I could finish a project (okay, publishing my own book!). But ‘Not Even…’ called to me the whole time, patiently awaiting my return (okay, fine! I lost it! I had to invoke St Anthony to help me find it and now that I’ve finished reading the book, I can see that he had a vested interest in the recovery effort). All I can say is that it was SO worth the wait.
This book is like a page (okay 309 pages-I checked) from my own life. Maybe from your own, too. From the GYN table to the toilet stall (really? Still wrestling with wings or no wings? I win-I quit that s*** years ago! Sorry, TMI? My bad), Tink had me at “hormones”. Once I picked the book up, I couldn’t put it down again. I read it all at once.
Not Even chronicles the daily life of Tink, which is a cacophony of ringing phones, buzzing beepers, and pinging answering machines, underpinned by the love of her friends, family, and fiance.
A good life.
A few notes to author:
Kathy, my nursing cap was white with 1 blue stripe! Or was it 2? Dammit, now I have to get up off the couch and go look…
Oh, and that gray hair trauma thing in Chapter 15 (insert zipped-lip smiley emoticon here)? Total empathy for Tink (again, sorry, TMI? My bad).
Also, I have one word (okay, 2 words) to add to the ‘SHUT. UP.’ list for nurses: ‘Best Practice’.
SHUT. UP.
There are illustrations in the book. A bonus, like free gift with (book) purchase (thank you, Kathy Eliscu! And William D. Eldridge!). My favorite one is on page 133. Don’t ask me why. Art is personal, remember?!
Now I have to go. That “little portable whirlpool tub” for tired feet? Gotta get me one of those…
This book? READ IT.

(This is my review adapted from the one I wrote for amazon.com).

After you finish this book, read my book! One Brave Thing

 

Alive and Kickin’

by Karen, posted in family, Midlife Crisis, teens

ipodWant to make your daughter’s day?  Sing a song from your youth. I did this today, and in front of her friend, no less. What the hell was I thinking? I don’t know. I was inspired. In my defense, the song came on after “Operator” by Lady Gaga, catching me a little off guard. Yes, it is my iPod, but it’s a few  years old and I haven’t used it in a while- maybe 6 months- so I wasn’t sure exactly what’s on it.

So, the song was Tighter, Tighter by Alive and Kickin’. When I was ten years old, my parents gave me a record player for some occasion or other (birthday? Christmas? I forget) and this was one of the three 45’s that they gave me with it.  The others were Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes by Edison Lighthouse and Band of Gold by Freda Payne.

Because I loved these songs (this was before I discovered David Cassidy), I played them over and over. Or maybe it was because I only had these three records. Whatever. The point is this:  Tighter, Tighter came out in 1970. Here I am in 2013 singing it and I remember all of the words (okay, most of them). Right? And not just this song; I remember the words to the other two songs too (and it must be said: much to my daughter’s chagrin).

Here’s what I wish: that Calculus had been set to music, because I couldn’t solve a theorem today to save my life,  despite 4 courses in Calculus in both high school and college–elective courses. Yep, I took Calculus in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s because I liked it . In 2013, however, I don’t know cosines from shinola.

Note to mathematicians: If you all had set Calculus to music. I’d be a lot smarter today.

50: The year I got old

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Adult children, family, fitness, health, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

I was thinking about how I have been in a funk these past several weeks, when I realized, no, it’s actually been several months now that I’ve been feeling this way.  I realized what is partly affecting kneemy mood and my decisions is this: I feel old.

  1. My skin looks old.
  2. All of my joints hurt all the time so I don’t want to exercise.
  3. If I do exercise, all my muscles hurt the next day.
  4. My bowel pattern is a constant concern.
  5. No matter what time I go to bed, or how late I sleep in the morning, I’m still tired all the time.
  6. I don’t want to do any work anymore.
  7. I don’t want to eat “healthy” anymore. I want cappuccino whoopie pies and DQ blizzards and apple crisps and Peanut M+M’s every frikkin’ day.
  8. I don’t even want to read anymore because my expensively, progressively, trifocally, Transitions vision sucks.

How’s that for pathetic? After I read my list it dawned on me: I’m depressed. SAD probably, since this is the longest, coldest, snowiest winter in the last, what, million years.

My daughter was reading this over my shoulder without my knowledge as I was writing it. A little while later she said,

She: “Mom, it’s not true.”

Me: “What’s not true?”

She: “That stuff you were writing; it’s not true.”

My daughter: yep, think I’ll keep her.

Gratitude

by Karen, posted in books, family, friends, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

Gratitude Journal~Sarah Ban BreathnachI passed by the TV in the common area at work and they were interviewing someone or other (I am guessing it was Gretchen Rubin) who was talking about how important it is to write down things for which you are grateful. Further, if you take the time to write a gratitude list, you will be happier.

If they say it on The Today Show, it must be true, right?

I am no stranger to the gratitude list. I have twice in years past kept an official Gratitude Journal. I faithfully (well, usually) wrote down 5 things every day for which I was grateful. I thought about doing it this year, too. . . and that’s all I did. I thought about it, then it went the way of so many of my great thoughts…just completely disappeared from my head until I saw this post’s title that I started a week ago and forgot about (hello, midlife monkey mind).

I know what stopped me: I didn’t buy The Gratitude Journal and so therefore I could not record my gratefulness! Then I stumbled upon this site:

The Simple Abundance online Gratitude Journal

Yay! Excuses begone! I am taking the plunge with the online journal. I don’t think a day goes by that I am not on the computer for something (email, Facebook) so it should be easy, right?

Right?

Here’s today’s:

January 12, 2013
1 Spicy Eggnog Coffee
2. Sleeping until I wake up without the alarm
3. No appointments
4. My family and friends
5. My new job

You don’t have to pay to sign up if you don’t want to. Just type into the feature, then cut and paste it to a folder on your desktop.

I’m feeling happier already!

The big lie

by Karen, posted in family, friends, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

“Effective multitasking is a myth. Would you want a tooth filled by a dentist who was talking on a cell phone? “~ Downeast Magazine, April 2012, p. 25, “Time for a Driver Cellphone Ban”.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote since I read it. And when I dropped (and broke) several of the vintage Pyrex bowls I had for years. And whenI burned my finger taking a cookie sheet out of the oven with one oven mitt on instead of 2. And when I pulled the vacuum over while vacuuming  lamp shade, resulting in a 6 inch bruise on my leg.

Of course, any midlife woman has heard the “Having it all” myth too, right? Is there a bigger lie out there? Well, apart from the multitasking one?

My husband keeps telling me that I have too much on my plate. Much of what is taking up so much of my time right now is beyond my control, but I am the one who has to deal with it.  Many of you are almost certainly dealing with some administrative thing(s) that you wish you didn’t have to deal with (like completing tax returns?). Add to that eating and sleeping and keeping yourself cleaned up, all of which consumes even more portions of your day. If you are lucky enough to have a job, that might take up the majority of our waking hours most days. Add taking care of children to that list…and your day is now about 24 hours in the red, right?

I was talking to my friend Susan about how to fit everything we want to do into any given day when our brainstorming led to a breakthrough: Maybe we should be asking a different question. Not, “How do we fit everything in?”  but “How do we choose what to leave out?”

 What do you think?

Great audiobook

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, friends, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, relationships, Someone's gotta say it

I just finished this book and I really enjoyed it. Lisa Scottoline,whom I’d never heard of, spoke right to me and many of my issues. Even though she’s twice divorced (nope, not me), she lives with 5 dogs (nope, I live with 3 humans…and chickens!) has 1 child (I have 2), has seen 50 come and go, (nope, I’m currently Staring Down 50), I could see myself in so many of her stories. This book is comprised of just that: many stories from her life. One of my favorites is the one about being a cookbook collector. I, myself, am a Closet Cookbook Collector-well, maybe not so closeted. I love to read them, buy them, share them, compare them. What I rarely do, however, is COOK from them. I have my favorite go-to recipes to which I gravitate toward by default. You know, the ones that I can make without having to think too much? Those. She does the same thing!! I felt so much better after that!! The only reason that I didn’t give this book 5 stars is because I didn’t feel the same way about the chapters that were written by her daughter, Francesca. They weren’t bad; they just weren’t me.

The Clutter of Days

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, health, Karen's Kitchen, Midlife Crisis, my one word, Pantry Project

I’m reminded, as the new year looms, that I haven’t done an update about My One Word in a few months. You remember… my New Year’s Resolution? Redolent in its simplicity… the purity of one word (“Edit”) that morphed into the clutter of two words (I added “Focus” one month in to make my resolution double in size).

I have been focusing and editing. My bookcase is still looking pretty good. For the most part, when I’ve gotten a new book I’ve removed one (or more) from the shelves to make room (or to compensate…). I’ve done a pretty good job of making meals using what we have already in the pantry or the freezer (although I think my husband would not agree with me on this).

I remember when I was a teenager and in my twenties, I went out of my way to fill my days…every minute of my days…with work or school or time out with friends. I never had a day off. Never. I worked 6 or 7 days per week, sometimes double shifts, and went to school full-time. I wanted it that way. I was happy to have every minute programmed in.

Now, in (okay, at the end of) my forties, I am completely the opposite. I want to have all of my time unscheduled, unplanned. I am thrilled when I can arrange for a day to be completely empty, versus completely filled.

Not that it stays empty and uncluttered, usually, but knowing that there is no where I have to go and no one expecting me to do something or be somewhere at a certain time is a wonderful feeling.

Those days are few and far between.