Karen

Clearing clutter (continued)

November 26, 2011 by Karen, posted in Life in the cube, my one word, Work from Home, writing

I decided to take two days off from the computer and surprise! When I logged into my email today there were 97 messages.

Ninety. Seven. Messages.

I blame myself. I have subscribed to so many food blogs (for recipe purposes) and department stores and restaurants (for coupon and discount purposes) and writers and agents blogs (for writing tips and hey, maybe someone will publish my book!) that I have no time to actually read, and thereby potentially benefit from, them.

I have created a monster. With 97 legs. Now what?

Here’s my plan: If I receive an email and don’t have the time or the desire to read it at first glance, I shall just delete it. If I notice this happens more than once or twice, I shall unsubscribe.

That’s my story and I”m (hopefully going to) stick to it.

Addendum: The email count morphed up further to 102 in the time it took to write this post. Heavy sigh.

Blog in transition

November 22, 2011November 22, 2011 by Karen, posted in writing

I’m trying out some new themes this month to celebrate the transition of my blog from kwrites.wordpress.com to just kwrites.com. Yay, me! It seemed fitting to mark the occasion with just a tiny hint of fanfare (is that wrong??).
Today’s theme is “GREYZED”. Please feel free to ‘like’ this post if you like this format, these colors, and so forth. The peachy one that I’ve been using for months now is “KOI”. The one I used prior to that, when I was just starting out was…I forget, actually. I’ll try to find out and get back to you. 🙂

Marital strife and strength

November 20, 2011 by Karen, posted in books, Midlife Crisis, relationships

One of the things that my husband always says after an argument is “I don’t feel connected”. It’s true; there is a disconnect that occurs not just during, but also after any, um, heated disagreements, and it can take a while to get back to that feel-good place of harmony in the aftermath. Sometimes it can just take a few moments to get this back; other times, well, it can take days. 😦 This is the strife.

It’s worth putting all else aside to focus on getting that connection back up and running, however. Whether your connection has been forged over two months or twenty years, it’s worth protecting from harm.

Yes, I’m telling you that I believe that it’s true: we are tethered to our mates.

And I don’t mean just legally. I’m actually starting to think that it might be a spiritual sort of energy thread that connects us to each other (and not in ball-and-chain fashion, either; I think that phrase may have been coined status post knock-down-drag-out, if you know what I mean).

In the book Blissology: The Art & Science of Happiness the author Andy Baggott talks about this connection in relation to happiness.

He asserts that:

“Unhappiness has no source except within ourselves and is nothing more or less than a disconnection (italics mine) from happiness–” (p. 18)…or, you and your spouse from each other, I think.

He goes on to say:

“We are eternal beings of pure positive energy, and the only reason we don’t feel that way is because we have become disconnected.”

So, it’s our work, then, to regain that connection when it has been broken, that feeling that you are in this together. Talking can help (note: sometimes talking makes it worse; if it does, then stop!). Humor can help. Taking a walk, together or apart and then regrouping, can help, as well as any physical activity…(yep, I’m talkin’ sex here).

Working together (even when you don’t like each other very much) to regain your connection can be hard, but it’s certainly doable. 🙂 This is the strength.

So, in the eternal words of The Stereo MC’s:

“Somethin’ ain’t right
Gonna get myself, I’m gonna get myself
Gonna get myself connected.”

🙂

How do you regain your connection to your significant other after an argument?

Distracted

November 18, 2011 by Karen, posted in Midlife Crisis

Almost every day, when I go to check my watch to see what time it is, I see that I’ve put it on backwards. Day after day…after day. What’s up with that? Even after I noticed that I was doing it, I’m still doing it.

Like today, for example.

I thought it might be sort of symbolic for “You don’t have enough time,” or “Slow down”. I mentioned it to my husband, and he (ever blunt) said, “It’s because you’re so distracted. You’re all over the place. Focus on one thing.” Doesn’t focusing on just one thing at a time seem like such a time waster? I used to knit while watching TV shows that I’d taped while baking bread and have a magazine open in my lap. I’d congratulate myself on how much I was accomplishing.

Then I read a magazine article (sorry, can’t remember when or how or which one…do you think it’s because of the TV watching/knitting/baking that I also had going on?) that said, “research has shown” that you actually are less productive when you carry on like that. In the long run, you end up burning out, getting sick, retaining nothing (of what you read or watched), making more mistakes that lead to you having to re-do or start over (can you say “dropped a stitch??) or whatever.

It seems counter-intuitive to me, but you get more done if you just focus on one thing at a time and do it.

Maybe I should start with putting on my watch correctly?

Locks of Love

November 14, 2011 by Karen, posted in family, friends, Midlife Crisis, no fear

Every three years or so I donate my hair to Locks of Love , and my daughter Isabelle has donated once as well. This entails the relinquishing of at least 10 inches of hair, more if the ends are kind of thin, which they usually are by the time hair gets to that length.

This time around the total cut off was 13 inches.

I had already committed to doing it, but for a split second I almost back pedaled. Then I remembered the past several months of prepping my family (not to mention myself) that had preceded this day, and sucked it up.

The hair was measured, braided, banded, and…extracted. The most difficult part, I think, is how light-headed I feel right after it’s cut. This feeling usually dissipates fairly quickly, as long as I’m careful not to turn my head too quickly…kidding!

The next most difficult part is that at the current length, my hair is too short to pull it back into a ponytail or a braid, and my daughter is torturing me to take out the clip that I have perched on the top of my head to keep my hair out of my face while I’m cooking, reading, or whatever.

“It looks stupid!” she proclaimed, grabbing for the clip as we were leaving to make a library run.

Oh. I thought it looked cute. “Leave it alone!” I snapped back. “Let’s go! I want to get there before they close.”

I left it in. Until I got to the car. Then I took it out. What if she was right and I was wrong? I wasn’t willing to risk it.

One of those women

November 13, 2011 by Karen, posted in friends, Midlife Crisis, no fear

I realized today, as I peered at myself in the bathroom mirror, deciding whether to eat breakfast first or shower first…that the roots of my hair were looking kind of gray and dark. Then I had my second realization: I’d become one of those women.

You know, one of those women who dyed their hair, only worse. I’d joined that club about two (OMG! I think it was two!) years ago when I gave in to public opinion and dyed my hair for the first time. How did I make it to my late forties without ever dying my hair, ever? Not even highlights.

Well, I had some bad encounters with some perms over the years…’nuf said.

When I finally decided to dye it, it was just to try to cover most of the gray (that truthfully, I really didn’t even see. It was mostly on top of my head, so I had to tip my head and look down to see any gray, which I rarely did). I didn’t want to change the color one iota. In fact, I didn’t want anyone to know I’d done it at all…can you say, “Subtle”? That was my goal.

The wonderful woman that agreed to take me on was very brave. I have to give Deb tons of credit (and Susan tons of thanks, for introducing us). She listened to me tell her how much I didn’t want to do what I was about to hire her to do. She patiently listened to me debating the choices (permanent? semi-permanent?) and to me imploring her over and over to make sure that it would match my normal color so that no one would notice it was dyed. She did this. She pulled it off.

Anyway, once I started dying it, I got into a routine. A routine that I didn’t think too much about over the past two years (maybe three?). . . until this morning. When I realized I’d become one of those women.

One of those women who didn’t know what color her hair actually is anymore.

I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a garage?…NO! It’s a barn!

November 11, 2011November 11, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, chicks, quest for the best, raising chickens

This is the little structure that could. It started out life as a garage, a two-car garage to be specific. It lived its quiet, two-car garage life for 15 years. Then we bought the house that it was cohabitating with, and then…everything changed.

It started slowly…First, Bill didn’t want to sacrifice the entire garage, and also didn’t want to sacrifice more of the yard for a barn, so a compromise is reached over time, after much perusing of chicken coop plans and barn layouts and reference books and internet research.

Next, he got his ideas down on paper and reworked it all until he was satisfied with the logistics of it. Then he found someone that was willing and able to work with him to make the plan become a reality. And finally, the biggest miracle of it all, is the person actually showed up and did the work he had agreed to do when he agreed to do it!

Mindboggling in the construction world, isn’t it?

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The cupola was added after much back-and-forthing about whether the weathervane should be a chicken (which we have) or a llama (which we wish we had but don’t have now). We even took a poll right here on kwrites to get your input. We settled on the llama, because llamas are talented guarders of chickens.

Most recently, the barn door was added to the front of the garage and the transformation is (I think!) complete. Well, for now.

Where I saw a garage, Bill saw a barn…and now it is a barn.

Cool, huh? 🙂

Garden Update

November 7, 2011November 7, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, gardening

The garden is looking about as well as expected for early November. I still have carrots in the ground that I haven’t had time to pull. I have snapped off some of the greens from them to feed to the chickens who LOVE them, but otherwise, that’s it. The carrot portion is still laying on the ground next to the bed from which it was pulled by me and then abandoned, left forgotten as I ran off to work/yoga/food shop/(fill in the blank). Shame on me.

What I figured out this year is that as much as I love having a garden, and as much as I love choosing what we’ll plant and where, and as much as I love going to Agway to load up on the seedlings in late May with my husband…it was just too much for me this year.

I had the proverbial “Eyes are bigger than my stomach” attack–I have so much garden and so little time…

So, my husband and I talked and for next year, I am going to really, really keep it small(er). I’ve decided to continue with (and expand) the asparagus and the potato beds. Lettuce. Spinach. Sugar Snap Peas. String Beans. Red bell peppers. Eggplant. Tomatoes: only Romas and a couple of cherry tomato varieties and one heirloom variety. Oh, and strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, cherries, and blueberries…

Wow. My stripped down list still looks very large, doesn’t it?

ADDENDUM: OH! And my sister-in-law Andrea just reminded me about Zucchini! And of course, Yellow Squash. Thank you! 🙂

Angels at Clay Hill Farm, part 2

November 3, 2011November 3, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, friends, local fun, no fear

I attended the Angel Dinner the other night with a friend and I loved it. I wasn’t sure what to expect, so if you are wondering how it works, let me clue you in.

You come in and are seated by the waitress.

Ruth Kramer is the Intuitive featured at Clay Hill Farm’s Angel Readings. She is a lovely woman with a British accent who is full of energy and enthusiasm for her work. First, she comes right over to introduce herself to you and explain how the evening will go.

You will be seated at a table with other patrons (there were six people total seated at my table). Usually the small room is sold out for Ruth’s Angel Reading dinners, but on this night we were at about 1/2 capacity. This was lucky for us because she had a little more time to spend with each of us for our readings.

Little notepads are provided on the table along with pencils for you to write down any questions that occur to you to ask Ruth as you are waiting for your reading. Dinner will be served in a parade of amazing courses which you will choose upon arrival from a small menu. Warm rolls, then soup or salad. There will be several entrees, including a vegetarian one. Several incredible dessert choices will follow that will most likely be your most difficult decision all evening…which one? Can I have two? 🙂

If you think of it, you can bring a device to tape your reading, if “the angels will allow it”…Ruth says sometimes the angels will not allow her words to you from them to be taped. So as a back up plan (if you go with a friend like I did) you can take notes for each other as Ruth is speaking (my friend’s idea) so that you can fully concentrate on what she is telling you versus trying to write it down and listen simultaneously.

I took pictures of the food, but the lighting was so low that none of them are really good enough to include here…maybe the angels didn’t wish the food to be seen? 🙂

Ruth will be at the Clay Hill Farm one more Monday night, as of this writing, on November 14. Call 207-361-2272 for reservations.

The Clutter of Days

November 2, 2011 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, health, Karen's Kitchen, Midlife Crisis, my one word, Pantry Project

I’m reminded, as the new year looms, that I haven’t done an update about My One Word in a few months. You remember… my New Year’s Resolution? Redolent in its simplicity… the purity of one word (“Edit”) that morphed into the clutter of two words (I added “Focus” one month in to make my resolution double in size).

I have been focusing and editing. My bookcase is still looking pretty good. For the most part, when I’ve gotten a new book I’ve removed one (or more) from the shelves to make room (or to compensate…). I’ve done a pretty good job of making meals using what we have already in the pantry or the freezer (although I think my husband would not agree with me on this).

I remember when I was a teenager and in my twenties, I went out of my way to fill my days…every minute of my days…with work or school or time out with friends. I never had a day off. Never. I worked 6 or 7 days per week, sometimes double shifts, and went to school full-time. I wanted it that way. I was happy to have every minute programmed in.

Now, in (okay, at the end of) my forties, I am completely the opposite. I want to have all of my time unscheduled, unplanned. I am thrilled when I can arrange for a day to be completely empty, versus completely filled.

Not that it stays empty and uncluttered, usually, but knowing that there is no where I have to go and no one expecting me to do something or be somewhere at a certain time is a wonderful feeling.

Those days are few and far between.