Category: Marriage

Pig aggression

by Karen, posted in fitness, local fun, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

I was walking my route other morning when I heard an animal noise from behind me. I was passing the pig sty (literal, not figurative) that is on the street adjacent to mine right at the side of the road, so of course I knew it was a pig. These pigs also routinely jump the fence so I shouldn’t have been surprised when I saw him in the road, staring at me, grunting.
Note: a pig’s grunt sounds ominously like a mountain lion. I don’t know why. It just does.

For several seconds I just stood there, unsure if I should try to pass it or go back the other way.  Should I call my husband to come and pick me up (which he would have done, after he finished laughing)?  What if it charged me? It looked like it was almost as big as I am, and may even have outweighed me. I decided to close my eyes and walk very fast past the pen while chanting to myself, “I am very safe; I am very safe.”

I told my husband about this when I got back and we had a good laugh.

The next day I went to the beach instead (in order to avoid another pig incident) to do my usual walk to the jetty. I was almost all the way back when I became aware of footsteps running up behind me, then retreating, then catching up again. I didn’t look at first, because there were so many unleashed dogs on the beach that I thought it must be that. The third time it approached, though, I did turn and look…and it was a male wearing a rubber pig face mask, which was about an inch from my face.

Need I say that I was scared to death?

This time, my husband was there. Within about a second he was running full tilt toward me to see if I was okay, then he went to, um, discuss the event with the perp. This time, I didn’t have to convince myself I was safe. This time, my husband made sure that I was safe.

One question remains: What the heck is the universe trying to tell me with these pigs?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Shopping at the Ocean State Job Lot

by Karen, posted in books, Date night, local fun, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, relationships

I was at the Ocean State Job Lot today, shopping for a bug zapper (bottom left page of flyer) with my husband. Of course, once I was in there I had to look around at everything (sorry, Bill).  Did you know that you can get audio books (on CD) here for only $3.99? Many of which you may have even heard of and be interested in listening to in the car on your way back to Wells from Sanford when you are sitting in traffic on Route 109 from now until eternity, watching the workers stand around waving “Stop” and “Slow” signs at you, taunting you ad nauseam.

I bought two.

Next, I wandered over to the bathing suits. I know; I know. What was I thinking? Well, they were on sale for only $10. Some of them were even kind of cute.

After rifling through the racks for a few minutes, I found a red one-piece that was my size that was kind of interesting looking. I held it up to show my husband, who thought it was okay (I need the reality check of asking another person how something looks on me because I apparently have Body Dysmorphic Disorder–in other words, I have no freakin’ clue how I really look).
I found a clerk to ask where the fitting rooms are and surprise! Ocean State Job Lot has no fitting rooms. I decided to take a chance and buy it, thinking I could always return it tomorrow if it didn’t fit. As I was giving it a final once-over, I thought that the back of the bathing suit didn’t look quite right. Now, I’m no fashionista, but the back was very…plunging, and the butt was very…insubstantial in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on…until suddenly, it hit me. How had I not noticed how thin the strip of material at the butt was?

This bathing suit was a thong in the back! I can’t wear that to the beach!

I’m not even a little bit French!

Please consider being a guest blogger on Sharpen Your Knives!

by Karen, posted in Marriage, Midlife Crisis, relationships, Someone's gotta say it

This is where women can come to vent about their (past, present, maybe even future?) husbands’…idiosyncrasies.

You know what I’m talking about.

Share your stories, anonymously or not, with other like-minded individuals. Sharp stories, edgy entreaties, and amusing anecdotes are welcome.

It’s easy to be part of  Sharpen Your Knives

  1. Subscribe to SYK.
  2. Submit your story to kmcwrites@gmail.com.
  3. Remember to say whether your identity should be kept mum!

That’s it. Complete the above steps and you’re in.

The goal: hopefully by sharing our stories we’ll discover that we are in all in good company with our (minor! oh so minor!) daily frustrations and irritations…and if we dump them here, we can (hopefully) avoid dumping them on our spouses.

:)

Tell your friends!

Keep your submissions around 200-400 words if possible (but shorter pieces are also fine!). As editor, I reserve the right to edit for typos, grammar, and length.

Great audiobook

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, friends, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, relationships, Someone's gotta say it

I just finished this book and I really enjoyed it. Lisa Scottoline,whom I’d never heard of, spoke right to me and many of my issues. Even though she’s twice divorced (nope, not me), she lives with 5 dogs (nope, I live with 3 humans…and chickens!) has 1 child (I have 2), has seen 50 come and go, (nope, I’m currently Staring Down 50), I could see myself in so many of her stories. This book is comprised of just that: many stories from her life. One of my favorites is the one about being a cookbook collector. I, myself, am a Closet Cookbook Collector-well, maybe not so closeted. I love to read them, buy them, share them, compare them. What I rarely do, however, is COOK from them. I have my favorite go-to recipes to which I gravitate toward by default. You know, the ones that I can make without having to think too much? Those. She does the same thing!! I felt so much better after that!! The only reason that I didn’t give this book 5 stars is because I didn’t feel the same way about the chapters that were written by her daughter, Francesca. They weren’t bad; they just weren’t me.

Get out of your rut

by Karen, posted in Date night, fitness, local fun, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, no fear, relationships, Turning 50

In the interest of getting out of my rut, my husband and I went away…to the other side of town.

One of the perks was that the facility had a pool. No big whoop for me, because I don’t much like chlorinated pools. My husband does though, so even though it was late (9:30pm is late when you are usually in bed by then), and even though it was freezing out, and even though it was snowing out, and even though we had to walk outside (the equivalent of about 3 blocks, maybe, but still) to get to said pool, and even though I had to put on a bathing suit in February…I went with him.

I took swimming lessons when I was 12, but it never clicked for me. I was always awkward in the water, so do not consider myself a swimmer.

My husband is a great swimmer.

I had planned to sit on the side of the pool and watch him, but he convinced me to swim a little…and guess what?  

I swam the length of the pool 3 times! I enjoyed it! I wanted to stay longer! I didn’t even mind the walk back to the room!

Go figure. Maybe there are things that you can do but haven’t you haven’t tried because you keep telling yourself that you can’t.

What if you can?

Staring down fifty

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, friends, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, Turning 50

I’m going to be 50 this year and have been thinking about what I want to do about it. It seems like a great opportunity for it not to be “just another birthday”. I have had a lot of ideas about how to mark the milestone as well as how to celebrate the day. I started my scrapbook for “My Fiftieth Year” and it’s halfway ready to go. I’ll finish setting it up by or on May 19 (at a scrapbooking event with my friend Susan).

I’m worried though, because as I told my friends (Susan, Deb, Elisabeth) and my daughter yesterday: I’m afraid that I have so many ideas that I won’t commit to one and will end up doing nothing. My friend’s husband celebrated his turning 50 by subscribing to “AARP”. Hmmm…I’ll think about that later.

My friend Deb is also turning 50 this year, and I envy her focus. She wants to take a trip, and even knows where she wants to go. This reminded me that I want to take a trip too! I want to go to Italy, to or near Avellino!  But I think I want to be in my home state for my actual birthday. Plus, my husband wants to go someplace else if we take a trip (like Bermuda).

I want to have an Italian birthday cake from La Cascia’s in Burlington, MA, but no one in my immediate family likes this kind of cake. The idea of 50 mini cupcakes (from Somethin’ Sweet in Sanford) surrounding one normal size cupcake (or 6 inch cheesecake?)  with an inscription of some sort would be really cool. That way, there would be something for everyone (read: no complaints that  “I don’t like chocolate!” or “I don’t like vanilla!”…minis can be ordered in many flavors). This is my Plan B.

Sigh. I’m going in circles. I saw somewhere that some people make a “Bucket List” of things to do in their 50th year. That might work.

How do people celebrate turning 50?

Anyone? Anyone?

Decluttering

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Marriage, my one word, Pantry Project, relationships, shopping

In the March 2012 issue of her magazine, Oprah says, “Identifying the cause of your clutter is the first step to getting it under control,” p.31.

Ya think?

Just in case that’s true…I thought about it in relation to my pantry, because food clutter is one of the areas with which I struggle (read: argue about with my husband). I look in my overflowing pantry and see safety, security, love. My husband looks in and sees clutter, chaos, disarray.

It’s a problem.

He is to the point now where he won’t even look in there to see if we have the can of tomato sauce, box of spaghetti, or whatever he needs to make supper that night. He would rather go to the store and buy what he needs, thereby completely avoiding the pantry and hopefully (but not usually) a fight.

Well, Oprah, let’s see if you and Peter Walsh can help us out. I’ll read the article and see if I can be helped. Peter’s idea in a nutshell is to pare down your belongings to basically nothing so they don’t have to be stored, dusted, arranged, etc.

Don’t think so.

My idea is this: get a bigger pantry. Just sayin’.

Have it your way

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, local fun, Marriage, quest for the best, Someone's gotta say it

I was recently reminded that going to the gym on an empty stomach is (for me) never a good idea. In a subconscious effort to undo any potential good my time at the gym may have afforded me, I headed over to Burger King for the special.
                                         Two Breakfast Sandwiches for $3

This is a special that their rival (McD’s) runs often as well. Here’s the difference: When I went to McD’s with my husband and tried to get one of the breakfast sandwiches without cheese, they said (wait for it….), “No.”. They explained to me how they would have to charge me full price for both sandwiches if I asked them to leave the cheese off one of them.

Really? Really?

Fast forward to today at Burger King. I ordered my 2 sandwiches, asking for the cheese to be left off one of them, and guess what? That’s what they did! And they didn’t charge me extra! And they never batted an eye!

BK: 1, McD’s: 0

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*NOTE: I complained on the McD’s website after that and I got a very nice free meal (and a grudging apology, but I let that slide) of 2 breakfast sandwiches for $3.00, one of which was without cheese, to make up for it.

🙂

Another book to read

by Karen, posted in books, Date night, Marriage, relationships, writing

The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay MarriedThe Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married by Iris Krasnow
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I thought this book rocked. I was especially happy to find it when I did: at the end of my writing “How to Stay Married in Midlife” and launched the “Sharpen Your Knives” blog (http://sharpenyourknives.wordpress.com/), and not before or during that process. The book includes stories from women who have been married for a long time, and includes their strategies for having been able to stay married. Hint: some are sort of kinky. Iris sprinkles in anecdotes from her own marriage, about which I am not sure how I feel. It might have been okay if she had confined her marriage story to one chapter. Instead, she randomly sort of randomly puts in her two cents where maybe it isn’t needed. In some of the stories, the women retain their anonymity, in some they just let it all hang out. You get to hear from women who are in their 70’s and (yep) are still married. It’s really a quite hopeful, “You can do it!!” sort of a book. Definitely worth reading.

View all my reviews

Homemade eggrolls with friends

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, friends, Marriage, quest for the best, relationships

Last spring (we finally agreed that it was in the spring; I thought it was in the summer) my husband and I got together with another couple of friends to make authentic homemade egg rolls. Our friends make them every 3 or 4 months at home, but were gracious enough to drive an hour and a half (in each direction) to come to our house and remind us how to make them too.

They arrived with some supplies in tow. This time we were better prepared with a borrowed Fry Daddy; last time we shared theirs. They also brought their Tupperware mixing bowl that is the size of a kiddie pool. It was almost big enough. I kicked myself one more time for selling my identical bowl at a yard sale years ago. Other nice to have equipment was the food processor that we bought last year for this occasion.

We took a field trip together to Hannaford’s for the produce: carrots, cabbage, onions (they were out of scallions) and the cellophane (I think) noodles. They brought the wrappers with them. Let me tell you that shredding all those vegetables, not to mention frying the egg rolls, makes one hell of a mess. Our friends cleaned up everything, including all the oil spatter from tandem frying in the Fry Daddy’s. It wasn’t pretty.

We made three varieties: chicken, shrimp, and an experiment: pork. My husband wondered what would happen if he mixed Ah-So Sauce with ground pork and stuffed them into the egg rolls. They turned out great! Next time we’ll drain them of some of the extra fluid prior to cooking because they turned out a little darker than the other egg rolls, but that did not affect the taste. 🙂

Here’s a slideshow of the fun:

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We can’t wait till spring so we can make them again! 🙂