Author: Karen

I am an RN, Author, Coach, and Speaker. I write novels about relationships to help people find insight into their own. I guide people to create comfort, clarity, and connection in their lives. By combining metaphysical tools with over twenty-five years of nursing experience, I infuse the 'art of nursing' into my practice by providing partnership and resources help people compassionately honor their health.

The BRAVE Interview #21 April 2018: Stormie Grace

by Karen, posted in Being BRAVE, Catching women being brave, Clarity, no fear, relationships, The BRAVE Interviews

Welcome to this month’s interview with Stormie Grace!

Being Brave…

Hello everyone I am Astrologer Stormie Grace! …….really what I am is just a human! That comes with its pretty standard fears, insecurities, Delights, Mysteries, and all else that encompasses The Human Experience pause. The two qualities I’ve been invited to talk to you about today from my experience are fear and bravery.

No matter how it presents itself, fear always has this low-level vibration telling me I am somehow not enough as I am, and God forbid I get any different because then I’ll definitely be not enough.

If you know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about, but really, in my experience what Fear actually is actually is the thief that robs me from my life. It should absolutely be classified with stealing, yeah, because it robs me of the moments I could be experiencing how enough I am! And how much Beauty there is in the enough to notice.

And while that’s all wonderfully philosophical, I was in fear! It left the zone of fun for me and became a pure hiding mechanism that was fear. I wish you could guess what it was? My hair! For years and years I have enjoyed the playful decorating of my head with many different hairstyles, from wigs and weaves to braids and crochets! It is in my very nature to enjoy decorating beautifying and making things look and feel absolutely luxurious, so of course my hair was going to fall into this as well!

However outside of the beautification process, I crossed a fine line and I didn’t even know I had crossed it.

I left the space of fun and authentic expression and stepped onto the shore of fear. I stopped playing with my hair and creating beautiful designs to share with the world as an expression of my soul and simply began hiding underneath each woven state of my expression. I reached a place where my natural hair was no longer acceptable because it wasn’t long and luxurious and beautiful!

Fear allowed me to forget my enough-ness in any state!

For 5 years I invested dollar after dollar into not expressing myself, but into hiding in fear. What if someone saw my natural hair? Then they would never buy my products. They would never love me. They would never–I would never– and so on! The idea of stepping out in public without some long luxurious piece on literally made my skin crawl. I can remember a day very specifically where I had taken my wig off for the evening and was putting it away, and I only was able to take a half glance of myself in the mirror, because this natural hair was just not acceptable in its unruly State not trundling down my back, waving like Rapunzel to my sweet prince to come and save me! It was solid fear! And this continued for years!

And as juicy and tragic as that sounds, especially because it’s real life, this is actually where it gets good…

In this summer of 2017, the universe saw fit to bring me together with a man who I had been friends with for many years. Except this time we came together in romance instead of just friendship! And as it goes in the beginning of our new relationship it was sex and intimacy and giggling and stroking and playing until the wee hours of the morning, but he noticed I would never let him touch my hair! And of course with this big luxurious mop up there who wouldn’t want to touch that deliciousness? And finally, I sat him down and had the conversation that black women sometimes have to have with their white boyfriends about the fact that this hair was not mine, he could not touch it, but that it was in fact a piece of me. Universe, bless this man, because he just accepted it as truth, all while looking me right in my eyes and saying I would think you are beautiful without it.

Now for whatever reason which I still cannot explain, my soul heard what my head could not wrap its head around for years.

So the next day I went into the bathroom I took the wig off, I washed and styled my natural hair, and I sat in the bathroom incredibly uncomfortable judging myself, but also beginning at a very low-level to feel whole!

See, what I know about what happened is that LOVE (NOT ROMANCE), but LOVE drew me out and allowed me to walk through the fear in safety and acceptance.

The next day, I got to step into the fear and watch it transform to bravery, but making my first set of videos that would go to the public, with my natural hair. AND I DIDN’T STOP THERE … I went to my favorite shops and restaurants and even to see my cousin the beautician (who almost died that I was in public without weave. Not because my hair isn’t gorgeous, but because she had only seen me in fear)! I figured, “Heck I might as well take this bravery show on the road!” LOL! I could not have imagined how much emotion, hope, security, individuality, and love was wrapped up in my hair, in women and their hair, and it changed me.

Being brave enough to go INTO my fear changed me! I am free!

I have since gotten into so many hair related facets that I have made new friends (get new places meet new faces type deal), and I have allowed myself to unfold as needed! Today when I wear a wig, or braids, or a wash and go, I am free to do it and express myself that way because I am no longer hiding in the open. Today I am brave, I am love, and I am free!

Sending you love to stop fear in its tracks! Don’t let it rob your life, instead, GO WHERE THE FEAR IS…BE BRAVE!!!

XOXOXO

Thank you so much for sharing your brave story with us, Stormie! Check Stormie Grace out on Facebook at Stormie Grace Astrology!

Read the other BRAVE Interviews here: The BRAVE Interviews

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR THIS SERIES ABOUT SOMETHING BRAVE YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR OWN LIFE, SEND ME AN EMAIL HERE: kmcwrites@gmail.com

The Annual Ides of March Quest for Fried Clams

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Adult children, celebrations, comfort, family, good grief, quest for the best, restaurants

My dad’s last meal was fried clams.

Flashback to 1998. Dad was dying of lung cancer. The living room was dominated by the hospital bed sent by hospice once it was clear he could no longer manage the climb to the second floor bedroom. He had been in and out of consciousness for several days when he suddenly became alert again, like himself. This day also happened to be my mother’s birthday. She had died two years prior of cancer.

After he had been turning up his nose at solid food for days, he said he wanted to eat. What do you want, Dad? Whatever it is, we’ll get it.

He wanted fried clams and french fries from (the famous!) Kelly’s Roast Beef in Revere. So, my brother drove to Revere (not so very far from where we were) to get him what he wanted.

He ate and enjoyed every last bite.

And then he fell asleep, drifting into a coma from which he would not awaken. He died peacefully two days later on March 15, 1998.

Every year, I have fried clams on March 15th to commemorate this experience and to celebrate my Dad.

This year, at the recommendation of my friend Stephanie, we tried a new place in New Hampshire, Petey’s Summertime Seafood and Bar.

It was definitely worth the trip!

So maybe I expanded on the fried clams…Dad loved ice cream sundaes, too, and I am my father’s daughter. 🙂

And he loved martinis, dry, with two olives…but that’s a different story.

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**Disclaimer: This is my memory of this experience. Other’s remembrances may differ.**

The BRAVE Interview #20 March 2018: Crissy Maier

by Karen, posted in author, Being BRAVE, Catching women being brave, Interviews, no fear, The BRAVE Interviews, Travel

Here is this month’s BRAVE Interview with Crissy Maier!

  1. WHO are you? Someone who overcomes challenges. Whether it’s my cleft lip and palate, my learning disability, my struggles through the police academy, other health issues, problems at work – I’m not defined by any of them, but rather by my ability to integrate the lessons I’ve learned and to find ways to overcome the next challenge I will face.
  2. WHAT is your One Brave Thing? Sometimes I wonder if I’ve done it yet. I seem to have succeeded at everything I’ve tried, or at least not failed miserably. I might need to try something harder to really be brave. But when thinking about this question, I’m reminded of my first trip to Europe. I arrived in London, almost got lost going to my hotel even though I had step by step instructions. The next day I got on a hop on and off bus and at the stop in Trafalgar Square I wanted to get off the bus, but I was afraid of getting off the bus. In some ways it was an insignificant moment, but it’s a moment that I’ve reminded myself of many, many times. It’s a moment that inspired an entire chapter of my book.  It took a minute or two to talk myself into it, but I got off the bus at Trafalgar Square. I didn’t venture too far away from the bus stop, but I broke a barrier of fear. I traveled through Europe for two weeks before returning to London. When I did, I was a completely different person, I was taking the Tube to sites that I didn’t know how to get to and navigating the streets of London like I would the streets at home. It’s one of those rare opportunities in life when I got to see how much I had changed in a short period of time. When I’m afraid of something, I often think back to that experience.
  3. WHEN did you do it? That was in 2005
  4. WHERE did it occur? London and Europe
  5. HOW and WHY did you make it happen? The woman who stepped off the plane in London in 2005 was ready for adventure, to see the world. But she was afraid of the unknown, of getting lost. But she was more afraid of missing out, or being a “failure.” When fear holds us back, sometimes we need to break down what the fear is, and what the realistic ‘bad’ outcome is. When we think of it logically, it’s usually not nearly as bad as it seems. It’s not always easy to do, it takes time and discipline. More importantly though, I think knowing why you want to do something, and the cost of not doing it, can be enough to give you the discipline needed to overcome the fear you have. If I wasn’t committed to seeing London (in one day), then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten off the bus and found out that it’s not so scary to face your fear.

Thank you so much for sharing your brave story with us, Crissy!

Check out Crissy Maier’s book, Blue Sky Morning  

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, send me an email here: kmcwrites@gmail.com

 

BOOK REVIEW: The Rules of Magic by Alice Hoffman

by Karen, posted in author, Being BRAVE, book reviews, books, family

I loved The Rules of Magic!

I was a little cautious to be reading Alice Hoffman, because I sort of remembered finding one of her prior books being, um, kind of dark. Something above about doves, I think. I’m not sure.

I must have blocked it out.

This book, however, is a jewel. It’s a tale of two sisters and a brother, Jet, Franny, and Vincent. As they grow up, they become aware that they have magic in their bloodline, in their blood, but they also have a curse. Light and dark. This is the story of how they grow up and live their lives in the spotlight of, and in the shadow of, both.

I won’t kid you–there are some heartbreaking events in this book, but don’t we all have those in our lives?

I very much felt like I was right there in the story with them, that they were my friends. Friends that I loved and laughed and cried with.

Ultimately, the author is showing us that every story has a beginning and an ending, and that some stories have to end so that others can begin. Indeed, that every ending sparks a new beginning.

Of course there is sadness in a death, especially if it’s in an accident, if it’s unexpected, but it can give rise to a new, beautiful story.

I recommend this book. Go get The Rules of Magic by Alice Hoffman.

The BRAVE Interview #19 February 2018: Barbara Ryland

by Karen, posted in Being BRAVE, Catching women being brave, Interviews, The BRAVE Interviews

Welcome to this month’s interview with my good friend, Barbara Ryland!

My Brave Thing

As a child growing up, I had no father.

My parents were divorced when I was an infant, and my father moved far away.  I had no contact with him, with any of his siblings or with my paternal grandparents. After I married and had my own children, it became very important to me to meet my paternal grandmother who was in her 80’s. I wanted so much to know her before she died. So I made plans to go to Gulfport, Mississippi, where she lived and where my father had grown up. I had hopes of meeting him, also, but he was living in Texas, and I was unsure if he would be able to meet me in Mississippi.

One of my father’s sisters, an aunt who lived in Georgia, had been in touch with me a few years before. She suggested that I fly to Atlanta, and she would drive me to Gulfport.

So on an early July morning with my heart thumping and limbs trembling, I began my journey to meet my father’s family of origin.

I spent two wonderful weeks in Gulfport meeting my grandmother and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. And my father and his wife did come over for a few days from Texas.  I was so glad I had taken that step of meeting part of my family.  Most of all, I was grateful for their loving and welcoming me, a family member yet a stranger.

My grandmother died several years after that, but until her death, we talked once a week on the phone. My father died about 12 years later, but we maintained contact throughout those years and visited each other. Some of my aunts and uncles have died, but I am still in touch with those who are alive as well as with my cousins.

Thank you so much for sharing your personal story with us, Barbara!

Read the other BRAVE interviews here: https://kwrites.com/?s=The+BRAVE+Interview

If YOU would like to be interviewed for this series about something brave you have done in your own life, send me an email here: kmcwrites@gmail.com

Blue Moon

by Karen, posted in family, good grief, local fun, the beach

My husband and I got up early and raced outside to try to see the Blue Moon Lunar Eclipse at the ‘optimal time’ here in Maine (6:45 am)–since it only occurs once every hundred years or so, we didn’t want to miss it.

And it was up there…behind the trees.

So we jumped in the car and headed to the ocean (because, let’s face it, everything is always best viewed from the perspective of the ocean) and you know, with a big, honkin’ cup of coffee.

My iPhone camera left something to be desired, but the moon did not.

It was amazing.

Afterward, the song 100 Years was playing over and over in my mind. This is a song that I associate with my paternal grandmother, Mary.  And then, just like that, I suddenly realized that she was with me.

Because of course, our loved ones who have crossed over are always with us.

Sometimes we just feel their presence more strongly than others.

BOOK REVIEW: A Beautiful, Terrible Thing by Jen Waite

by Karen, posted in author, book reviews, books

I liked this book because it’s raw and honest.

In A Beautiful, Terrible Thing, the author is telling a tale as old as time: she marries a man who betrays her. The story here, though, is the spectacular manner in which this is done. About 3/4 through it I considered stopping. It was a little annoying that she was so obsessed with this guy after what he did, but the way it unfolded to her–and therefore, to us, she really doesn’t know for sure that he was the dick-wad that we all suspect that he was. She was holding out for proof and hey, who am I to judge her for making unwise choices in her relationships? I have a long history of doing that myself.

My favorite part in the book:

The author’s therapist says: “Something inside of you was saying, ‘Whoa, hold on, this doesn’t add up,’ but you ignored that voice and plowed on. What we need to figure out is why and start to arm you with some concrete tools that you can draw on until you truly learn to listen to your intuition.”

I mean, Boom! Right?

You will probably enjoy this book.

Disclaimer: Bad wi-fi so video quality isn’t great. Proceed at your own risk.

BOOK REVIEW: ANGEL OF EVENTIDE by Elle Powers

by Karen, posted in Angels, author, book reviews, books, Brave books, family, relationships

I was pulled right in to the conversation between the angel and the woman at the outset of the book. But, is it an angel? Who is this woman?  I have many questions and so I press on, intensely interested in how the answers would they reveal themselves.

This is not only a story of compassion; it’s an epic love story.

It’s not a typical love story, however. I don’t want to give too much away, so I will tread carefully here.

It is the love story of Maren and Sea (pronounced “Shay” for Seamus). Maren is different from other girls. She doesn’t get sick. The ‘magic brownies’ her peers are eating don’t have any effect on her.

Maren is also a girl whose reckless behavior has placed her at the brink of death many times in her young life. At the age of ten, she is assigned an angel who literally rescues her from death and then proceeds to watch over her. What is unusual is this: Maren can see him. Maren has always been able to see the ‘folks’, as she refers to them. She has always has this special ability, to be able to see behind “The Mystic Curtain”, as her mother refers to it.

This book is so much more than a “romance between a fallen angel and a lost girl” (p 169). It is also the story of parents’ love for their child. Of God’s love for us. It’s a brilliant exploration of what it means to be mortal and immortal, angel and human, and how we all fit together into the larger story of life. When life feels like a punishment, perhaps it’s because we can’t see the whole story.

Near the end of the book is a reference to a song that only Maren was hearing (P 282-283) .

“Maren stirred to its dreamy rhythm, understanding that this was the song of the world–the composition of creation.”

This sentence immediately brought a song to mind. To me, it felt like a perfect description of this song sung by Andrea Bocelli, Canto Della Terra (Mighty Sun).

There are several quotes that I loved at the outset of each chapter, including one from The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, one of my favorite books ever (p 225), so it was hard to  narrow it down to one favorite, but I managed.

My favorite quote from the book (P 214):

“The truth was that they were living out this story together; every heart in every age was essential and connected…and so their each and every choice mattered to the whole.”

Beautiful. Thank you, Elle Powers! Get this wonderful book, Angel of Eventide.

I leave you with this invitation: Treat yourself and listen to this song undistracted.

Visualize your future

by Karen, posted in Clarity, Meditate, my one word, online courses

Every year we have a blank slate, don’t we?

We have a chance to start fresh.

What get the opportunity to ask ourselves questions like:

  1. What do I want to accomplish this year?
  2. Where do I want to go on vacation?
  3. What do I want my work life to look like?
  4. Who do I want to spend time with?
  5. What hobbies do I want to devote more time to?
  6. Should I change how I eat?
  7. Should I be more active?
  8. Am I saving enough money?

We have a chance to re-evaluate our choices and maybe set our course in a new direction.

Maybe we  realize we are very frikkin’ happy with how our lives are going just as they are. This is welcome news, for sure, but I if you’re like me, you are probably interested in making your 2018 look a little different (eg: better) than 2017. Vision boards help us reframe our thoughts, reframe our thinking.

I find the practice of making vision boards to be an extremely helpful tool in helping me focus my activities and thoughts on what I want, and not what I don’t want.

I have made them all different ways, and for many different purposes. Recently I discovered my 2015 Vision Board (the photo above) and was surprised to see how different it looked compared to this year’s. For one thing, there was a lot more white space in it! I was also surprised to see how many things keep reappearing on my board from year to year (going to Italy!) that I haven’t yet accomplished. Time to do something about that…

Over the years I have streamlined my practice and designed a process that it works better for me.

I believe in this so much that I’ve created an online course to share it with you.

Check it out here:

Visualize to Actualize!

 

BOOK REVIEW: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

by Karen, posted in Being BRAVE, book reviews, books, Brave books, family, relationships

I got Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng on audio from the library. It was actually picked out by my daughter, because I ‘needed’ an audio book and I wasn’t seeing anything that grabbed me.I am mentioning it because, coincidentally, one of the main characters in the book is named Izzy, the same as my daughter. Also, another coincidence is that there is a character in the book named Bebe, which is the name of the main character in my fiction (thus far).  🙂

This book is about relationships between and among mothers and daughters. A privileged family of six meets, assimilates, and then clashes with a family of two that is decidedly not.  There are complicated pieces of the puzzle that mostly come together at the end, but there are a couple of loose ends, one of which I wanted answered.

Final verdict: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng is worth reading. Let me know what you think if you do.