Welcome to this month’s interview with Stormie Grace!
Hello everyone I am Astrologer Stormie Grace! …….really what I am is just a human! That comes with its pretty standard fears, insecurities, Delights, Mysteries, and all else that encompasses The Human Experience pause. The two qualities I’ve been invited to talk to you about today from my experience are fear and bravery.
No matter how it presents itself, fear always has this low-level vibration telling me I am somehow not enough as I am, and God forbid I get any different because then I’ll definitely be not enough.
If you know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about, but really, in my experience what Fear actually is actually is the thief that robs me from my life. It should absolutely be classified with stealing, yeah, because it robs me of the moments I could be experiencing how enough I am! And how much Beauty there is in the enough to notice.
And while that’s all wonderfully philosophical, I was in fear! It left the zone of fun for me and became a pure hiding mechanism that was fear. I wish you could guess what it was? My hair! For years and years I have enjoyed the playful decorating of my head with many different hairstyles, from wigs and weaves to braids and crochets! It is in my very nature to enjoy decorating beautifying and making things look and feel absolutely luxurious, so of course my hair was going to fall into this as well!
However outside of the beautification process, I crossed a fine line and I didn’t even know I had crossed it.
I left the space of fun and authentic expression and stepped onto the shore of fear. I stopped playing with my hair and creating beautiful designs to share with the world as an expression of my soul and simply began hiding underneath each woven state of my expression. I reached a place where my natural hair was no longer acceptable because it wasn’t long and luxurious and beautiful!
Fear allowed me to forget my enough-ness in any state!
For 5 years I invested dollar after dollar into not expressing myself, but into hiding in fear. What if someone saw my natural hair? Then they would never buy my products. They would never love me. They would never–I would never– and so on! The idea of stepping out in public without some long luxurious piece on literally made my skin crawl. I can remember a day very specifically where I had taken my wig off for the evening and was putting it away, and I only was able to take a half glance of myself in the mirror, because this natural hair was just not acceptable in its unruly State not trundling down my back, waving like Rapunzel to my sweet prince to come and save me! It was solid fear! And this continued for years!
And as juicy and tragic as that sounds, especially because it’s real life, this is actually where it gets good…
In this summer of 2017, the universe saw fit to bring me together with a man who I had been friends with for many years. Except this time we came together in romance instead of just friendship! And as it goes in the beginning of our new relationship it was sex and intimacy and giggling and stroking and playing until the wee hours of the morning, but he noticed I would never let him touch my hair! And of course with this big luxurious mop up there who wouldn’t want to touch that deliciousness? And finally, I sat him down and had the conversation that black women sometimes have to have with their white boyfriends about the fact that this hair was not mine, he could not touch it, but that it was in fact a piece of me. Universe, bless this man, because he just accepted it as truth, all while looking me right in my eyes and saying I would think you are beautiful without it.
Now for whatever reason which I still cannot explain, my soul heard what my head could not wrap its head around for years.
So the next day I went into the bathroom I took the wig off, I washed and styled my natural hair, and I sat in the bathroom incredibly uncomfortable judging myself, but also beginning at a very low-level to feel whole!
See, what I know about what happened is that LOVE (NOT ROMANCE), but LOVE drew me out and allowed me to walk through the fear in safety and acceptance.
The next day, I got to step into the fear and watch it transform to bravery, but making my first set of videos that would go to the public, with my natural hair. AND I DIDN’T STOP THERE … I went to my favorite shops and restaurants and even to see my cousin the beautician (who almost died that I was in public without weave. Not because my hair isn’t gorgeous, but because she had only seen me in fear)! I figured, “Heck I might as well take this bravery show on the road!” LOL! I could not have imagined how much emotion, hope, security, individuality, and love was wrapped up in my hair, in women and their hair, and it changed me.
Being brave enough to go INTO my fear changed me! I am free!
I have since gotten into so many hair related facets that I have made new friends (get new places meet new faces type deal), and I have allowed myself to unfold as needed! Today when I wear a wig, or braids, or a wash and go, I am free to do it and express myself that way because I am no longer hiding in the open. Today I am brave, I am love, and I am free!
Sending you love to stop fear in its tracks! Don’t let it rob your life, instead, GO WHERE THE FEAR IS…BE BRAVE!!!
Read the other BRAVE Interviews here: The BRAVE Interviews
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR THIS SERIES ABOUT SOMETHING BRAVE YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR OWN LIFE, SEND ME AN EMAIL HERE: firstname.lastname@example.org