Category: family

Book Review: SARK has a new book: Succulent Wild Love

by Karen, posted in author, books, family, Life's too short to read bad books, no fear, relationships, writing

I am writing today about the new book SUCCULENT WILD  LOVE by SARK and Dr John Waddell.

Succulent Wild LoveSARK’s books are lovely, bold, and vibrant celebrations, and this collaboration is no different. It’s as visually gorgeous, vibrant, and engaging as all of her prior offerings.  In the past, she has written about being soulfully single and marrying herself, but in this book SARK is happily coupled. So happily coupled that she wants to share her ‘joyfull-ness’ with us (I am a wordsmith myself, so I especially appreciate SARK’s reconfiguration of words to suit her purposes).

SARK and John share six habits, which I think of as tools, to help us reach this joy-full state with our own partners. Because, as SARK tells us on page 25, “You can do what I have done.” 

One of these is our Inner Wise Self. You know those voices you hear in the back of your head, chatting away all day long, mostly telling us untrue and unkind things about ourselves? Those are NOT your Inner Wise Self. They are your Inner Critics. But our Inner Wise Self is in there too! She is patiently waiting to muscle those other chuckleheads out of the way.  

  • Hello, Inner Wise Self? HI! Long time no hear! It sure has been a while!
  • Um, oh, you’ve been here all the time? Duh. Time to start listening, huh?

Because you can consult your Inner Wise Self about anything. And everything. Can and should. You will receive loving, kind advice when you do. Let yourself listen to it. Let yourself act on it. Even if it’s scary. Especially when it’s scary.

Another of the six valuable tools they teach in this book is the one I’ve come to think of as the “Perfect Person” tool. John tells us on page 155, “Susan was being the perfect Susan, and any way that I was not able to see that was my responsibility.” Wait, what? Your partner is already perfect? So they do not need any fixing? So they do not need any fixing! They are already just fine! You are free! You can work on yourself, instead! As excellent this tool is to use in a relationship with your partner, I think it is equally as powerful, maybe even more so, to use in relationship with one’s children. Try it. Let me know what you think.

I have so little free time. I don’t waste it reading (or recommending) books that are not worth reading. This book is WONDER-FULLY worth reading!

If you are interested in buying this book, here’s a link to the product page on the New World Library website: http://bit.ly/1WdRY6c.  You can also find it Succulent Wild Love on Amazon.

Enjoy!

 

My first 100 Days of Grace

by Karen, posted in Angels, family, friends, good grief, He and me, Meditation
I was wondering once again this past Sunday why the heck I had chosen Grace to be my word–or more accurately, Grace had chosen me to be its person –this year. Brave, my word last year, was a grace rockgreat word! A word you can sink your teeth into! Get your mind around! Get a grip on! Grace is…not. It’s elusive. Ephemeral. Unknown. Unfixed…kind of like me.
So my old friend Jane and my new friend Lisa and I were talking about this on Sunday, when they told me about the 100 day project they had started. They invited me to join, so I did.
Every day I say:
Thank you, God. I am in day ____ of my first 100 days of Grace.
Here is what’s happened during my first 3 days of my first 100 days of Grace:
  • Day 1 Grace: Jane introduced me to Lisa, who told me about her company Cosmic Tonic and T shirts that say Limitless on them (written in a special way). The song Limitless had been in my head all morning, and I had posted a link to it on one of my Facebook pages, The Metaphysical Nurse, right before I met her. (I know, right?!)
  • Day 2 Grace: Bill, my husband, finished reading the first book I wrote and he told me he loved it.  One thing about my husband: He never lies, especially not to spare my feelings. YAY!
  • Day 3 Grace: The song King of the Road was in my head, and a brief flash of a memory of my mother singing it. A visitation? It felt like it was. A gift. The 20th anniversary of her death is this month, February 29.

That’s it so far.

Consider trying this for yourself!

**Here’s a clip of the song King of the Road being sung by one of my mother’s favorite singers, Dean Martin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZWvi0MaIZs
**Here is the link to some of the many posts I’ve written about My One Word. https://kwrites.com/category/my-one-word/
**I gave meditation a hundred days last year. Here is the link the Give it 100 website, which really helped me succeed: https://giveit100.com/

Life’s short

by Karen, posted in family, good grief

So, this year there will be a February 29th. This is significant for me because my mother died on February 29th in 1996, 20 years ago. We sort of joked about how kind it was for her to pick a day that only comes once every four years so we wouldn’t have to be sad every year.

Ha. Ha.

the fam in billerica
The family in the early 70’s.

The irony of it is this: there is not a leap year every four years. Did you know that sometimes leap year skips (leaps? 🙂 ) its year? Yep.

Anyway, she was 55 when she died. Two years older than I am now.

She did have two years warning, but sadly, she was very sick from chemotherapy side effects for a lot of that time.

Today, I’ve been thinking. What if I only had two years left? How would the next two years be different for me if I knew they were the last two?

Of course, the lesson here is that none of us knows how much time we have. The reminder is that we can always choose to enjoy this day that we do have. Today.

What are you doing today?

 

Tidying up food, continued

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, Karen's Kitchen, Pantry Project, shopping

pantrySome of the side benefits that have come from my Tidying Up Food project:

  1. I have straightened up my pantry.
  2. I know exactly what I have for food in my house right now.
  3. I did not go buy another bottle of (whatever, insert food item here) because I knew I had one already on the top shelf of the panty, in the way back part that I need to stand on a chair to see.
  4. I no longer have any expired food in my house.
  5. I will have less food to organize when I get to that part in the The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo book!

Uh oh; I just thought of something…what if there IS no food section in the ‘Tidying up’ book?

DOH!

Tidying up food

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, books, family, Karen's Kitchen, Pantry Project, Travel

tidying upI have only been taking baby steps with my The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo book since I did the clothing category. I am motivated, but I haven’t had an uninterrupted block of time to tackle the next category (books) yet.
Well, that’s my excuse, anyway.

Since then, I have been scrutinizing other areas of my home through my new ‘tidy eye’, and here’s what I’ve discovered.

I am not a tidy person.

Anyway, this week I have given myself a challenge that is tied to my goals to

  1. Be more tidy and
  2. Spend less money.

I am not going to spend any money on meals or drinks when I am out this week. I am going to eat and feed the fam using the food I already have in the pantry, fridge, and freezer.

I have a lot.

My husband and I figure that conservatively, we are spending $150 a week on food. At the end of this week of not spending any money on food, we will deposit that $150 in the bank (in our new “Go to Italy in 2016” fund, perhaps? 🙂 )

Anyone else want to do this with me? Just for one week. I started October 2nd and will end the week October 9th. You can start today, or tomorrow.

If you decide to try it, I would LOVE to hear how it goes for you, so please consider commenting below.

As Liz Gilbert (speaking of ‘eat’-ing, and oh! of Italy!) would say, “Onward!”

Message from Mom

by Karen, posted in Angels, family, good grief, He and me

mom for blogSo I had a visit last night from my mother. She died in 1996.

She visited me in a dream. She was wearing a long white dress that was cinched in at the waist with a sash that I think was also white. I should note that she never dressed like that in real life.  Anyway, it was a slimmer, younger, healthy version of her (she was quite ill when she died) and she came to tell me something. When my mother comes through to me in my dreams, she never actually speaks out loud; she communicates with me through thoughts. Anyway, she came to give me a message and in the dream, I had the thought that this must be very important information for me to know, since she made the trip to tell me this, and that I better remember it.

Later on when I woke for the day, I remembered the dream very clearly. I remember my thoughts about the message too. What I DON’T remember is this: WHAT THE MESSAGE WAS!

I tried over and over to get it back, but it’s gone.
I told my husband this, and as I was telling him, the tears started.

He: Why are you crying?
Me: I don’t know! Because I can’t remember what the message was!

He: Don’t worry. You got the message. Just because you can’t remember it consciously doesn’t mean you didn’t get. It’s in your subconscious. You have it.

I immediately felt the truth of what he was saying. Every so often, my husband says exactly the right words to me at exactly the right time.

And then he sort of shuddered.

Me: What was that?
He: I got a chill.

So now I get it. That was my mother there in the car with us.

🙂

We joined them

by Karen, posted in Angels, family, local fun, Metaphysical healing, teens

IMG_4711We saw the sign last week, inviting us to join them for a concert, and after some maneuvering of the work schedule, join them we did.

What a good decision my daughter and I made.

The performances were amazing. Men and women of all different ages and backgrounds took turn standing up on the stage and sang most beautifully the songs they had chosen for us.

Their voices were accompanied by quite accomplished musicians, which elevated their songs just a little bit more.

Many of the songs we knew, but some we heard for the first time.

There were several people who I have been casually acquainted with for years who possess incredible voices and until tonight, I had no idea.

We may not really know the people we see every day as well as we think we do. We all have something shining inside us. What a gift these men and women gave us tonight by sharing their talents with us.

Thank you!! 😊❤️

Italian birthday cake, 2015

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, baking, family, italian, quest for the best, recipes

IMG_4349My family of origin had some family traditions, but they were few.

One that has made it to the present is the Italian Rum Cake birthday cake tradition. My brother’s birthday and mine are about a month apart. We both love Italian Rum Cakes. My family? His family? Um, not so much.

Okay, they hate it.

As much as I love this cake, it is not fun to have a birthday cake on my birthday that no one but me will eat.

Also, it’s damn hard to find this cake in Maine. Actually, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to find this cake in Maine.

So here’s what my brother and I do now:

  1. We call La Cascia’s Bakery and order the Italian Rum Cake with Strawberries (included) and Peaches (cost extra-pay it! it’s worth it!). You get to choose between whipped cream and buttercream frosting (WHIPPED CREAM FROSTING ROCKS!). You must decide if you want nuts on the outside or not-I can never decide so I order nuts on half of it. 🙂
  2. One of us picks up the cake and drives to the other’s house (we take turns hosting-this year is my brother’s turn).
  3. We split the cake. Literally. We each eat half. In our defense, we order the smallest one (serves 8-10 people in real life) they make.

That’s it. Problem solved! We love the cake! Our relatives are not subjected to it! Plus it’s June (my birthday was in May) and I am still eating birthday cake!

I did find a recipe for it (without the strawberries and peaches) on the Mangia Bene Pasta website, but there are something like a thousand steps in this recipe, so it’s pretty certain that I will never make it. Ever. I’d be too tired to eat it after all that.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Missing my mother

by Karen, posted in Adult children, Angels, family, good grief

IMG_3330It’s Mother’s Day, and I am missing my mother.

My mother died. Nineteen years ago. Sometimes I am embarrassed by the tears that can suddenly overtake me when I realize that I am still missing her so much. Really? At almost 53 years old?

Really.

Sometimes the emotion sneaks up on me so fast and is so strong that it takes my breath away. But it’s been so long, I think. I shouldn’t still feel so bad, I think.

The truth is that I didn’t appreciate her enough while she was still alive. I left her in a million ways before she left me.

Now that I am the mother in this complicated mother-daughter algorithm, I have insights that I lacked then. It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized all the ways that my mother was there for me that I didn’t even know about.

We are connected forever to our mothers. My mother carried me inside of her, and now I carry her inside of me. Whenever I wonder if she is still with me, I get a huge rush of feeling-love?- that assures me of her continued presence in my life. Just like when she was still alive, she is always as close as I will allow her to be.

 

Disney

by Karen, posted in family, no fear, teens, Travel

me space mtnI went to Disney once before, in 1989 (or thereabouts). There was one ride I wanted to go on then: Space Mountain. I have no idea why, but I was fixated on it. When we got there, the first thing I did was ask where that ride was and, guess what? Space Mountain was CLOSED. Yep. I know, right? Unbelievable.

Fast forward (OMG-I just had to use a calculator to make sure this number was correct) twenty-six years to the present. Twenty-six years during which all of my friends and family were subject to hearing that story. Over and over.

And over.

I was going back to Disney with my daughter. It was her first trip there. It was her birthday present. It was all about her.

Except for this: this was all about me. I had a FastPass for us for Space Mountain. We got there. I made her take my picture in front of it. We found the FP entrance and went in. We got in line and…my daughter freaked out. She didn’t want to go on it! Now I had a moral dilemma. After twenty-six years, I was finally going to put this urban legend to rest, but am I the kind of mother would force my distraught daughter to get on a ride when she didn’t want to?

You bet I am.

The only way out of it is through it.

I think this is a good lesson for life in general.

N.B. In my defense, afterward she said it turned out to be her favorite ride at Magic Kingdom.

🙂