Category: relationships

Second act

by Karen, posted in family, friends, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, no fear, relationships, Turning 50

I was watching the second episode of the new season of The Middle on TV. In it, Frankie has just unexpectedly lost her job and decides that instead of just running out to get another (crappy) job, she is going to treat this event as an opportunity,  a ‘second act’ in her life.

She decides to go back to school and learn to do something else. Something better.

Since turning 50 a few months ago, I’ve been thinking that my own second act may have started (or maybe even the third…but I digress).

I am hopeful this time around will be a bit easier. After all, this time around I have the benefit of wisdom to help me to successfully navigate what’s ahead, not to mention the love and support of my family and friends. Well, okay, I did have the that first time around too.

Thank God.

Also, this time around I live near enough to the ocean to visit it every day. As everyone knows, the ocean is the cure for what ails you.

Important lessons learned:  My husband rocks. My son rocks. My daughter rocks.  They all have my back every single day and really, what else matters?

The right words at the right time

by Karen, posted in Angels, family, friends, good grief, Midlife Crisis, no fear, relationships

Today, someone told me something that I really needed to hear.

We have been dealing with an ongoing issue for years and things rarely go our way. This year there are some new people involved, one of whom we know from another area of our lives.

These were the words: “I’m on your side.”

After she said them, I felt a subtle shift, and my thoughts about the situation in which we are both involved changed.  I started having new, different, more positive thoughts. I felt less anxious. Suddenly, I started tearing up.  I breathed through it. Everything might actually turn out okay, I thought.

Later on this afternoon, I was in other circumstances that became emotional and I started tearing up again. I went to sit in my car. I called my husband at work, which I rarely do at that time of day because I know it will be difficult for him to come to the phone. I was lucky enough to reach him and then, for the second time today, someone told me something that I really needed to hear.

This is what he said: “Everything is going to be alright.”

Everything is going to be alright.

Looking for clues

by Karen, posted in family, local fun, relationships

Now that I’ve started walking regularly again (well, this week at least), I’m finding that it reminds me of other regular walking routes I’ve had in the past.

I had a regular loop that I walked when I lived in a different city. I was twelve or thirteen years younger (and about twenty pounds heavier…but I digress). I walked with my son, who was little then, around 7 or 8 years old, and later on, my infant daughter Isabelle accompanied us. We took turns pushing her along in her stroller.

We walked, but we didn’t call it walking, because that’s no fun. For some reason,  Anthony started calling it ‘looking for clues’ (nod to Robert Palmer).

So, we would leave our driveway and start our trek up Lake Street. We would search for anything interesting on the ground as we went. Truthfully, the most interesting part of our walk was the midpoint, Pizzi’s (the farm store) where we sometimes (okay, often) made a pit stop on the way for ice cream or soda or candy.

Once, one of the clues we found was Izzy’s baby sock (that we had lost on a previous trip), but usually we found rocks and such. Nothing of value, really.

Except my memories of that time that we spent together.

Book Review

by Karen, posted in books, Midlife Crisis, relationships

Seating ArrangementsSeating Arrangements by Maggie Shipstead
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I thought that this book was going to be about a wedding, but it’s really about a man’s midlife crisis. Okay, it’s also about intimate relationships of all kinds. I ended up really liking this book anyway. I love the writing, the metaphors, and the funniness (I hope that is a real word). Even the parts that just don’t seem to belong in there at all were still a pleasure to read. Overall, it was a great book; worth the time it took to read it.

View all my reviews

Pig aggression

by Karen, posted in fitness, local fun, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50

I was walking my route other morning when I heard an animal noise from behind me. I was passing the pig sty (literal, not figurative) that is on the street adjacent to mine right at the side of the road, so of course I knew it was a pig. These pigs also routinely jump the fence so I shouldn’t have been surprised when I saw him in the road, staring at me, grunting.
Note: a pig’s grunt sounds ominously like a mountain lion. I don’t know why. It just does.

For several seconds I just stood there, unsure if I should try to pass it or go back the other way.  Should I call my husband to come and pick me up (which he would have done, after he finished laughing)?  What if it charged me? It looked like it was almost as big as I am, and may even have outweighed me. I decided to close my eyes and walk very fast past the pen while chanting to myself, “I am very safe; I am very safe.”

I told my husband about this when I got back and we had a good laugh.

The next day I went to the beach instead (in order to avoid another pig incident) to do my usual walk to the jetty. I was almost all the way back when I became aware of footsteps running up behind me, then retreating, then catching up again. I didn’t look at first, because there were so many unleashed dogs on the beach that I thought it must be that. The third time it approached, though, I did turn and look…and it was a male wearing a rubber pig face mask, which was about an inch from my face.

Need I say that I was scared to death?

This time, my husband was there. Within about a second he was running full tilt toward me to see if I was okay, then he went to, um, discuss the event with the perp. This time, I didn’t have to convince myself I was safe. This time, my husband made sure that I was safe.

One question remains: What the heck is the universe trying to tell me with these pigs?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Go ahead: make my day

by Karen, posted in Angels, health, relationships

It’s time for our family’s annual physicals. This morning I was there bright and early at 8am with my daughter for hers…so bright and early, in fact, that the office door was still locked (hey, here’s a tip: if you schedule appointments for 8am at your office and you tell people to arrive 10 minutes early to update paperwork, UNLOCK THE DOOR BY 7:50AM! Just a thought).

So, I was already annoyed when we finally gained admittance at 7:58AM. When we sat down in the cubicle to check in, the woman serving us made no eye contact and not even a glimmer of a smile graced her lips. I noticed then that all of the staff behind the bulletproof shield were tense, not smiling, and not looking directly at each other, never mind at us lowly patients.

I had another thought as I sat there: the necklace that the receptionist was wearing was really pretty. Recalling advice a mentor had shared with me over 25 years ago for job interviewing (pick out something about the person to compliment), I decided to tell  her.

“Your necklace is really pretty,” I said.

“Oh, thank you,” she said, touching it. She turned back to her computer, still not looking at us…and then she did.

Her entire demeanor changed. She was smiling at us both, joking with my daughter, making small talk (“It’s August already?”).

I’m not sure if I made her day or she made mine!

Just sayin’.

Shopping at the Ocean State Job Lot

by Karen, posted in books, Date night, local fun, Marriage, Midlife Crisis, relationships

I was at the Ocean State Job Lot today, shopping for a bug zapper (bottom left page of flyer) with my husband. Of course, once I was in there I had to look around at everything (sorry, Bill).  Did you know that you can get audio books (on CD) here for only $3.99? Many of which you may have even heard of and be interested in listening to in the car on your way back to Wells from Sanford when you are sitting in traffic on Route 109 from now until eternity, watching the workers stand around waving “Stop” and “Slow” signs at you, taunting you ad nauseam.

I bought two.

Next, I wandered over to the bathing suits. I know; I know. What was I thinking? Well, they were on sale for only $10. Some of them were even kind of cute.

After rifling through the racks for a few minutes, I found a red one-piece that was my size that was kind of interesting looking. I held it up to show my husband, who thought it was okay (I need the reality check of asking another person how something looks on me because I apparently have Body Dysmorphic Disorder–in other words, I have no freakin’ clue how I really look).
I found a clerk to ask where the fitting rooms are and surprise! Ocean State Job Lot has no fitting rooms. I decided to take a chance and buy it, thinking I could always return it tomorrow if it didn’t fit. As I was giving it a final once-over, I thought that the back of the bathing suit didn’t look quite right. Now, I’m no fashionista, but the back was very…plunging, and the butt was very…insubstantial in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on…until suddenly, it hit me. How had I not noticed how thin the strip of material at the butt was?

This bathing suit was a thong in the back! I can’t wear that to the beach!

I’m not even a little bit French!

Party!

by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, friends, local fun, Midlife Crisis, relationships, Turning 50

I have never had friends over to my house since I moved here in 2006 that wasn’t associated with a holiday or a kid’s birthday. So, when I decided to have a Creative Memories Scrapbooking Party it was sort of a big deal.
Who to invite was the first thing to figure out. I decided to put the question on Facebook and in a few emails first to see if anyone would even be interested in such a thing. Turned out, quite a few people were interested.

Next, I decided to invite only people who said they were interested (either directly to me or indirectly, through others). I was pleasantly surprised when several of them accepted.  Then came the fun part: what to feed everyone.

Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll probably tell you that I’m all about the food. Ask my husband and he’ll probably tell you that I’m all about overdoing the food. I decided to consult my sister-in-law, Andrea, who is great at such things. I took her advice to “Keep it Simple” as well as her advice about quantities to buy.

I spent the morning cleaning the house, and with the help of my son Anthony and my daughter Izzy, we got everything ready early. Then I confidently headed out to shop with my daughter. As the day went on, the cancellations rolled in. I tried not to worry. My husband kept me laughing with text messages and phone calls…”Hello, this is the Wells Police. We have a report of a wild scrapbooking party at your house….” and so forth (thank you, Bill!).

In the end, the Tupperware Party rule prevailed: half of the people who way they are coming ultimately will not.

It was great though. We had plenty of room to work on the projects. Susan, the Creative Memories Consultant (and my friend!) had done all the prep work in advance to make it easy for even a novice scrapbooker.  The lovely women at my party ranged in age from 13 to somewhere just barely into her fifties (you know who you are!). And because it is true that I am all about the food, we had the most delicious cupcakes for dessert from Somethin’ Sweet in Sanford (check out her Facebook page for daily flavors and specials). My guests even let me bore them with my talk about my Book of Fifty (the scrapbook I am working on for my 5oth birthday year).

I had the best time ever. Thank you, everybody.

Twins!

by Karen, posted in family, Midlife Crisis, quest for the best, relationships

My husband and I bought a new couch this month to replace the one we had that was older than our firstborn. How old do you think it was? (Hint: the firstborn son is turning 21 this year).

Of course, we have purchased some new furniture over the years, but our decorating style has been largely yard sale finds and hand-me-downs from relatives, most of whom are long gone.  The TV sits on a cabinet  that used to house a TV set (remember those?). My husband gutted it and refinished the wood and it’s been in every house we’ve ever owned. I love it.

The coffee table has recently been handed over to our son. It also was hand finished by my husband and is beautiful (Son! Use coasters!). We have a small side table that was my grandmother’s and has a sort of usual design that is perfect for holding books. It used to be perfect for holding videos (remember those? That’s how long we’ve had that table).

The point is this: we value our furniture and keep it for a long time. When we got the new couch and replace the old one, we kept the two mismatched floor lamps that flanked it. One was from a yard sale and one we bought at Target, I think. After living with the new set up for a couple of weeks my husband said, “Let’s get two floor lamps that match for once. Can we do that?”

We could. We did. It’s…restful to have some matching furniture.

P.S. Surprise! One lamp went to our son, and the other one went to our daughter.

Please consider being a guest blogger on Sharpen Your Knives!

by Karen, posted in Marriage, Midlife Crisis, relationships, Someone's gotta say it

This is where women can come to vent about their (past, present, maybe even future?) husbands’…idiosyncrasies.

You know what I’m talking about.

Share your stories, anonymously or not, with other like-minded individuals. Sharp stories, edgy entreaties, and amusing anecdotes are welcome.

It’s easy to be part of  Sharpen Your Knives

  1. Subscribe to SYK.
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  3. Remember to say whether your identity should be kept mum!

That’s it. Complete the above steps and you’re in.

The goal: hopefully by sharing our stories we’ll discover that we are in all in good company with our (minor! oh so minor!) daily frustrations and irritations…and if we dump them here, we can (hopefully) avoid dumping them on our spouses.

:)

Tell your friends!

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