Book Review: The Box of Daughter

June 3, 2016June 3, 2016 by Karen, posted in Adult children, author, books, Brave books, family, no fear, relationships, writing

I wanted to read Katherine Mayfield‘s book ‘The Box of Daughter‘ for a long time before I finally did. This is one of the few times I knew the author before I knew the book. I met Katherine through a Wells-Ogunquit Adult Education class I took several years ago when I was working on my own novel. If you have ever the opportunity to take a writing class with Katherine, do it. You will love her low pressure and motivating teaching style. She creates a wonderful, safe environment in her classes, such that even I, who was always terrified to share my writing with others, found myself reading aloud to the class an essay that I had just written.

Anyway, I was interested to see how she wrote. I immediately related to Katherine’s childhood and teenage years of family dysfunction, trying to please everyone, and chronic ‘I’m sorry-ing”. The feeling of walking on eggshells at home, trying to keep the peace at all costs is oh-so familiar. Katherine gives an honest account of her life with her brother and her parents which (be forewarned) may bring up some of your own difficult memories as you read.

The belt? Check. Bullying? Check. The shock of seeing your grandmother’s teeth in a glass for the first time? Check.

I love Katherine’s reference (p 98) to looking at life through ‘pain-colored glasses’…right? It wasn’t all bad, though. There was some card playing in the evening. The Youth Group in California. Finding her voice in environments that stifled it.

In the end, Katherine’s book reminded me that, most of the time, our parents were doing the best that they knew how to do.

If you like this book, maybe read my book next: One Brave Thing!

Book Review: Not Even Dark Chocolate Can Fix This Mess

May 15, 2016May 20, 2016 by Karen, posted in Adult children, author, books, Brave books, family, Life's too short to read bad books, Marriage, relationships, writing

Not even dark chocolate can fix this mess by Kathy Eliscu is so much fun to read! I started reading this book weeks ago, when it first came out, and then I sadly had to put it aside so that I could finish a project (okay, publishing my own book!). But ‘Not Even…’ called to me the whole time, patiently awaiting my return (okay, fine! I lost it! I had to invoke St Anthony to help me find it and now that I’ve finished reading the book, I can see that he had a vested interest in the recovery effort). All I can say is that it was SO worth the wait.
This book is like a page (okay 309 pages-I checked) from my own life. Maybe from your own, too. From the GYN table to the toilet stall (really? Still wrestling with wings or no wings? I win-I quit that s*** years ago! Sorry, TMI? My bad), Tink had me at “hormones”. Once I picked the book up, I couldn’t put it down again. I read it all at once.
Not Even chronicles the daily life of Tink, which is a cacophony of ringing phones, buzzing beepers, and pinging answering machines, underpinned by the love of her friends, family, and fiance.
A good life.
A few notes to author:
Kathy, my nursing cap was white with 1 blue stripe! Or was it 2? Dammit, now I have to get up off the couch and go look…
Oh, and that gray hair trauma thing in Chapter 15 (insert zipped-lip smiley emoticon here)? Total empathy for Tink (again, sorry, TMI? My bad).
Also, I have one word (okay, 2 words) to add to the ‘SHUT. UP.’ list for nurses: ‘Best Practice’.
SHUT. UP.
There are illustrations in the book. A bonus, like free gift with (book) purchase (thank you, Kathy Eliscu! And William D. Eldridge!). My favorite one is on page 133. Don’t ask me why. Art is personal, remember?!
Now I have to go. That “little portable whirlpool tub” for tired feet? Gotta get me one of those…
This book? READ IT.

(This is my review adapted from the one I wrote for amazon.com).

After you finish this book, read my book! One Brave Thing

My book is published!

March 3, 2016March 4, 2016 by Karen, posted in author, love and marriage, relationships

Thank you to everyone for hanging in there for my five year journey from writer to published author.

It wasn’t always pretty.

(Okay, it was hardly ever pretty)

In the end, it was worth every minute. I hope my family, friends, and readers agree.

Here is the link to buy my book:

http://www.amazon.com/One-Brave-Thing-K-Creamer/dp/1523347899/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1456972016&sr=8-3&keywords=ONE+BRAVE+THING

I welcome your comments and questions! Feel free to post them below. Thanks again!

UPDATE: Here is the link for the Kindle Edition!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01CIV6MSM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Thanks again!

Book Review: SARK has a new book: Succulent Wild Love

February 5, 2016May 12, 2016 by Karen, posted in author, books, family, Life's too short to read bad books, no fear, relationships, writing

I am writing today about the new book SUCCULENT WILD LOVE by SARK and Dr John Waddell.

SARK’s books are lovely, bold, and vibrant celebrations, and this collaboration is no different. It’s as visually gorgeous, vibrant, and engaging as all of her prior offerings. In the past, she has written about being soulfully single and marrying herself, but in this book SARK is happily coupled. So happily coupled that she wants to share her ‘joyfull-ness’ with us (I am a wordsmith myself, so I especially appreciate SARK’s reconfiguration of words to suit her purposes).

SARK and John share six habits, which I think of as tools, to help us reach this joy-full state with our own partners. Because, as SARK tells us on page 25, “You can do what I have done.”

One of these is our Inner Wise Self. You know those voices you hear in the back of your head, chatting away all day long, mostly telling us untrue and unkind things about ourselves? Those are NOT your Inner Wise Self. They are your Inner Critics. But our Inner Wise Self is in there too! She is patiently waiting to muscle those other chuckleheads out of the way.

Hello, Inner Wise Self? HI! Long time no hear! It sure has been a while!
Um, oh, you’ve been here all the time? Duh. Time to start listening, huh?

Because you can consult your Inner Wise Self about anything. And everything. Can and should. You will receive loving, kind advice when you do. Let yourself listen to it. Let yourself act on it. Even if it’s scary. Especially when it’s scary.

Another of the six valuable tools they teach in this book is the one I’ve come to think of as the “Perfect Person” tool. John tells us on page 155, “Susan was being the perfect Susan, and any way that I was not able to see that was my responsibility.” Wait, what? Your partner is already perfect? So they do not need any fixing? So they do not need any fixing! They are already just fine! You are free! You can work on yourself, instead! As excellent this tool is to use in a relationship with your partner, I think it is equally as powerful, maybe even more so, to use in relationship with one’s children. Try it. Let me know what you think.

I have so little free time. I don’t waste it reading (or recommending) books that are not worth reading. This book is WONDER-FULLY worth reading!

If you are interested in buying this book, here’s a link to the product page on the New World Library website: http://bit.ly/1WdRY6c. You can also find it Succulent Wild Love on Amazon.

Enjoy!

Tidying up

September 12, 2015 by Karen, posted in books, He and me, Marriage

You may have heard of the book that I am reading: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. Heck, you may even be reading it yourself.

I found it on audio for free (after I bought the hardcover!) on YouTube. I sent the link out to my virtual book club (we’ve only actually read 2 books together; this would be number 3) in case anyone else wanted to read it and talk about it. Or more importantly, to read it and then to act on it.

I decided to act immediately upon finishing a section. I finished the first section that said to start with your clothes, so I did. It took me about half an hour to empty out all the closets and drawers and make the big pile of clothes.

It took me about 11 hours to discard everything I wasn’t keeping and then to put back everything that I was keeping!

Do not let this dissuade you! Full disclosure: I did try on a lot of things before I decided to keep them. Even if the item did “spark joy” (criterion from the book), I didn’t feel joyful in too-tight pants.

After I emptied my clothes out, I took a picture of the pile and texted it to my husband (the husband who had brought this book to my attention once or twice before I bought it), who was at work.

I didn’t receive a reply.

Me: Did you get my text?

He: Yes.

Me: Well?

He: Well, what?

Me: I thought you’d be glad to see that I started on the tidying up.

He: No! It was terrible! Looking at that made me anxious all day!

File under ‘be careful what you wish for’, husband.

🙂

He and me

December 19, 2014December 19, 2014 by Karen, posted in love and marriage, relationships

Goethe, The Literary Outpost cat-thanks to Sheila Brownlow for the image!

Me: We should get a cat and a dog.

He: What?

Me: We should get a cat and a dog.

He: Why?

Me: Because. I want a cat and you want a dog.

He: But I hate cats.

Me: I know, but that’s not your fault (he really does have some valid reasons for this from childhood which I will not go into here). And I love cats.

Me: (Smiling winningly)

He: If you get a cat, I’ll kill myself.

The End

Mental health break

November 21, 2014November 21, 2014 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, family, italian, Marriage, NaNoWriMo, restaurants, writing

I took a two-day break from Nano writing and went away overnight to celebrate my husband’s birthday (and, you know, to take a break from sitting! At the computer! Writing! OMG! I haven’t been able to feel two of the fingers on my left hand for a week!). We had supper at Nolita, a new-ish Italian restaurant in York that we like.

I felt a little bad that he hadn’t had a cake on his birthday and gotten to hear the sweet strains of the “Happy Birthday to You” song wafting toward his ears on his day, but so be it. We wanted to have the cake with the entire family, and that couldn’t happen until the following day.

When we arrived at the restaurant, my husband had to run back to the car to get his reading glasses (he is so not into my rendition of “This is what’s on the menu” that he’d rather run back out into the 27 degree cold dark night that to listen to it).

That’s when the waitress came over and I mentioned it was my husband’s birthday. She said, “Does he like tiramisu? We give a free tiramisu for someone’s birthday.”

Now, Bill does not like tiramisu, but oh my God! I love it! But, it was his birthday after all, so I asked if there were other dessert options and she said they have gelato. As (my) luck would have it, I’m pretty sure the only thing he dislikes more than tiramisu is gelato.

“Yes, he does like tiramisu! Bring that!” I said, conscience clear.

What I hadn’t realized (and in fairness to me, I was halfway through my Italia Margarita at the time) was that said tiramisu would be accompanied by, um, fanfare. And I’m pretty sure that if there is one thing Bill dislikes more than gelato and tiramisu, it’s fanfare. In our 26 or more (we can’t agree on this) years together, he has never, ever seen a cake coming toward him with a gaggle of servers singing the birthday song to him.

And yet, I lived to tell the tale, so it’s all good.

Also, that tiramisu rocked!

Clutterfly

October 2, 2014October 20, 2014 by Karen, posted in Marriage

My husband and I are currently having an….well, let’s call it an ongoing discussion…about my clutterfulness.

I admit it. I am a clutterholic.

In my defense, I have never claimed to be otherwise.
He has visions of my father’s brown paper bags-bags and bags (and bags) of stuff surrounding his chair- after he died…and thinks of me.

I’m not like that! I don’t have paper bags filled with junk surrounding my chair!

My bags are reusable shopping bags mostly.

Hmmmm….hello, Houston?

Home is where?

August 25, 2014 by Karen, posted in (it's all about the) food, Date night, Marriage, relationships, restaurants, the beach

Recently my husband and I took a vacation. This is news, because it was OUT OF STATE. Way out. Like, in NJ. Just getting the same days off from work together to go took weeks-and an aligning of the planets AND and act of congress.

What was better about Atlantic City than Wells, ME? Not much. I had to really think hard for things.

The seagulls had black heads. Kind of cool.
The ocean was WARM. WARM. The OCEAN.
The ocean was very close to the hotel; you could walk to it. There also didn’t seem to be very much
variation between high tide and low tide.
There were some different kinds of seashells from what I find here in Maine.

That’s about it.

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The best thing about Atlantic City? We were on vacation! We were together! That is all we needed.

Still becoming

January 5, 2014 by Karen, posted in Adult children, Angels, family, good grief, Midlife Crisis, movies, no fear, relationships

When my mother was 51, she was busy getting ready to die, but she didn’t know this yet. Well, maybe she did know it on some level, but she never talked about it with me pre-diagnosis so I really can’t be sure. Certainly none of us, her children, her husband, knew it yet.

I’m 51. At 51, I feel like I am still becoming who I am. At 51, her life was drawing to a close.

Seeing The Secret Life of Walter Mitty has me thinking about things like this today. Walter Mitty is about many things. It’s about living your life, but also it’s about how you live it. You can spend it offsides, thinking about what you wish you were doing or imagining all that you’d like to (someday) do. Or, you can, at any time, decide to actually do the thing(s) that you thought you could not ever do.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

In the movie, it was a fine line. Walter Mitty crossed it. I don’t think that my mother ever crossed it. I am wondering if I have crossed it.

Interwoven throughout Mitty are images of his past that are meaningful to him. They are there to let him know that a) he is on the right track and that b) both of his parents, his dad who had died when he was 17, and his mother who was still alive and baking clementine cakes for him, were there supporting him every step of the way.

For me, the real message of this movie is this: No matter what, we are always our parents’ child.