the gym

when i go to the gym, i bring a book (for distraction from stairmaster), am if it’s a day i have to go immediately to work, a clothing change. oh, and car keys (except for once, but that’s another story).  goal: get in, work out, then get out as fast as i can. it’s interesting to me that others do not. i am constantly amazed at what i see when i get there. what are some of their agendas?

  1. the sitter: today there was a man at the gym; there is one like him every time i go. he arrives. he chooses a weight machine. he sits. he waits. he stretches. what is he doing? he rests his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. perhaps he is thinking, “how did i get here?”.  i, on the other hand, am thinking: “please get up sometime today because i need to use that machine!”  doesn’t he have chairs at home?
  2. the baggage carrier: sitting (!) on a weight machine bench. has a gallon of water. a notebook. an ipod. sunblock. gym bag. “hello? are you unaware of the locker room directly to your left?”  perhaps he has no peripheral vision?
  3. the poser: this may be a man or a woman. they are decked out in their finest gym-wear. they have their hair done. they choose weight machines that are near the mirrored wall. then, for a moment, you think they may actually be going to, you know, exercise…but no. they drape themselves over the machine and strike a pose, then look in the mirror. they adjust the pose, then look in the mirror again. “hello? you aren’t alone here; we can all see you!” this begs the question: don’t they have mirrors at home?
  4. the laundress: there was actually a woman in the ladies’ locker room doing her ironing. standing there in her underwear doing her ironing. okay, so you know where i’m going with this, right? don’t you have an iron at home? actually, come to think of it, i don’t. hey, maybe i could make this work for me! i could bring my ironing and do it at the gym, instead of working out! is that worth $10 per month plus the $29 annual fee?

what do you take with you to the gym? how long do you stay?


5 thoughts on “the gym

  1. hi. well i’m the total opposite. I LOVE going to the Gym, best legal drug ever! HAHAHA. It makes you feel great after a good workout and it beat dealing with negative and complicated people in life. -__-

  2. i love it! the business of it, with the goal being the shortening of the time factor to it’s lowest common denominator!

  3. I’m more along your style when visiting the gym: get the sweat pants on, get the heart rate up, sweat, cool down, and get on with my life. Maybe the term could be “business gymnast”

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