Midlife Monkey Mind
27 May 2012 2 Comments
in Angels, education, Midlife Crisis, Turning 50, yoga Tags: bad girl, friends, good girl, health, meditation, mile a minute, monkey mind, mothers, rituals, so hum, yoga
I’ve been on overload these past few weeks, with my mind overly full of stress-inducing thoughts. Sleeping has been a challenge. Lying awake from 1:30-4:30am two nights ago, I trotted out all my tricks for putting myself back to sleep: saying my ABC’s, counting backward from 100, tensing and relaxing muscle groups, saying the So Hum meditation.
Today at yoga, the instructor coincidentally included the So Hum mediation in our class. My mind had been racing a mile a minute right up until I heard Kristen say those two words, when it screeched to a halt…for a second. I started saying the words: so hum…so hum…so hum…
Then I became aware of something interesting: although my mental voice was indeed repeating the so hums dutifully as requested, another channel in my mind was still gyrating with the monkey mindedness of my midlife brain. It never stopped. Even as my ‘good girl’ brain was desperately trying to fulfill the teacher’s request to meditate on the fact that “I am”, the ‘bad girl’ brain carried on obsessing with wild abandon.
Note to self: shut of the monkey mind when you meditate. It’s so much more effective.
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Speaking your truth
22 May 2012 3 Comments
in Angels, family, friends, good grief, local fun, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50 Tags: bracelet, Deep Blue Truth, health, midlife crisis, mom dad, psychic readings, throat chakra
Over the past several months, I’ve had quite a lot to say about turning 50 this year to quite a lot of people.
That was then. Several months ago, heck, even several weeks ago, it seemed so far off in the future.
This is now. Now, it’s looming large, and for some reason, I’m finding that I have very little to say. That’s so unlike me! Usually, I’m “talking and I can’t shut up”–just ask my husband.
As part of my turning 50 and vowing to follow any and all whims that present themselves, I bought a half off Maine Deal coupon for a psychic reading by Melissa Boyd of Deep Blue Truth.
One of the things she told me (apart from that my Mom, Dad, and grandmothers were all there and said, ‘Hi!’ 
) was that my throat chakra was so backed up it was like a bottle neck. The throat chakra is #5, counting up from the bottom root chakra. This is (surprise!) the center of communication and expression.
Apparently, I am not speaking my truth. Who knew? After doing a little online research, I learned that wearing a particular bracelet–one made of Sodalite–can help. (Really? Really? If only it turns out to be that easy).
I’m willing to give it a try.
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Lilac poaching
08 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in gardening, local fun, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50 Tags: birthday gift from husband, favortie flowers, lilacs, Mothers Day gifts, nature, plants
Lilacs are my favorite flower. They always have been, as far back as I can remember. My grandmother had a large white lilac bush in her back yard and it was one of my favorite things in the world when I was a little girl.
Over the years, we have had houses with varying numbers of lilac bushes on the property. At one point, my husband went all out and planted a lilac garden that included every color of lilac we’d ever seen or heard of. We had plenty of places to put them that got full sun and that were hospitable to lilacs and they thrived.
That was the pinnacle.
Since then, our success with lilacs has been less exciting. My husband always tries to plant as many as possible, and then they either do well or they don’t. In our present house, he made a huge effort and planted two pink lilac bushes on either side of the front door as a Mothers Day/Birthday Present for me one year. That was amazing and I love them.
And yet.
This time of year, I am overcome with a longing for many, many lilacs in many, many col0rs and want them in vases in every room in my house.
Currently, I have none.
Now I find myself trolling the streets of southern Maine, looking for lilacs in abandonned lots to poach. I have been known to go out at dawn to travel the back streets to cut lilacs from bushes that are in areas that could be construed as ‘public property’.
My husband has told me he will not bail me out when I get caught.
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The big lie
28 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in family, friends, Midlife Crisis, no fear, Turning 50 Tags: brainstorming, Downeast Magazine, friend, having it all, midlife, midlife crisis, multitasking
“Effective multitasking is a myth. Would you want a tooth filled by a dentist who was talking on a cell phone? “~ Downeast Magazine, April 2012, p. 25, “Time for a Driver Cellphone Ban”.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote since I read it. And when I dropped (and broke) several of the vintage Pyrex bowls I had for years. And whenI burned my finger taking a cookie sheet out of the oven with one oven mitt on instead of 2. And when I pulled the vacuum over while vacuuming lamp shade, resulting in a 6 inch bruise on my leg.
Of course, any midlife woman has heard the “Having it all” myth too, right? Is there a bigger lie out there? Well, apart from the multitasking one?
My husband keeps telling me that I have too much on my plate. Much of what is taking up so much of my time right now is beyond my control, but I am the one who has to deal with it. Many of you are almost certainly dealing with some administrative thing(s) that you wish you didn’t have to deal with (like completing tax returns?). Add to that eating and sleeping and keeping yourself cleaned up, all of which consumes even more portions of your day. If you are lucky enough to have a job, that might take up the majority of our waking hours most days. Add taking care of children to that list…and your day is now about 24 hours in the red, right?
I was talking to my friend Susan about how to fit everything we want to do into any given day when our brainstorming led to a breakthrough: Maybe we should be asking a different question. Not, “How do we fit everything in?” but “How do we choose what to leave out?”
What do you think?
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Mirror Mirror
22 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in family, friends, local fun, movies Tags: "I Believe (In Love)" song from "Mirror Mirror", daughters, entertainment, girl crush, Julia Roberts, kids movies that appeal to adults, Lily Collins, Mirror Mirror, mothers, movies, Snow White, Wells Five Star Cinema
I took my daughter and her friend to see Mirror Mirror today. I have to admit that I was disappointed that Julia Roberts was in the movie. I have a love-hate relationship with Julia: I love the movies she is in but I hate her. Okay, maybe that’s overstating it, but you get the idea.
I put this aside because I love the story of Snow White. Lily Collins (who is my new girl crush) plays Snow and she is perfect in this role. She makes Snow into a strong female who takes no crap from anyone. She learns how to defend herself. She doesn’t fall for the Prince’s lines. She gets him on her own terms. Just like in Tangled, this is a woman who saves her man. And herself. And her dad. And her kingdom.
The dwarves are a riot, like a peanut gallery. Or a Greek Chorus. They have a running dialogue that sometimes is off camera but hey, pay attention to their comments because they are hysterical.
The only thing I didn’t like was the sequence at the beginning. While Julia narrates the back story, a series of animated characters are shown that look like mannequins. I thought they were kind of creepy and could have done without them.
When the movie ends, stay put. There is a musical number at the end sung bySnow White: I believe (In Love)’. It’s worth watching. Full disclosure: I liked it so much that I found it on YouTube and watched it about a hundred more times after I got home.
Sometimes I get obsessed when I really like something.
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Party!
21 Apr 2012 6 Comments
in (it's all about the) food, family, friends, local fun, Midlife Crisis, relationships, Turning 50 Tags: Creative Memories, cupcake bakery in Sanford, diy, Facebook events, Hannaford, mini cupcakes, scrapbooking, Scrapbooking party, Somethin' Sweet Bakery in Sanford, tupperware party, Tupperware Party rule, what to eat at a scrapbooking party
I have never had friends over to my house since I moved here in 2006 that wasn’t associated with a holiday or a kid’s birthday. So, when I decided to have a Creative Memories Scrapbooking Party it was sort of a big deal.
Who to invite was the first thing to figure out. I decided to put the question on Facebook and in a few emails first to see if anyone would even be interested in such a thing. Turned out, quite a few people were interested.
Next, I decided to invite only people who said they were interested (either directly to me or indirectly, through others). I was pleasantly surprised when several of them accepted. Then came the fun part: what to feed everyone.
Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll probably tell you that I’m all about the food. Ask my husband and he’ll probably tell you that I’m all about overdoing the food. I decided to consult my sister-in-law, Andrea, who is great at such things. I took her advice to “Keep it Simple” as well as her advice about quantities to buy.
I spent the morning cleaning the house, and with the help of my son Anthony and my daughter Izzy, we got everything ready early. Then I confidently headed out to shop with my daughter. As the day went on, the cancellations rolled in. I tried not to worry. My husband kept me laughing with text messages and phone calls…”Hello, this is the Wells Police. We have a report of a wild scrapbooking party at your house….” and so forth (thank you, Bill!).
In the end, the Tupperware Party rule prevailed: half of the people who way they are coming ultimately will not.
It was great though. We had plenty of room to work on the projects. Susan, the Creative Memories Consultant (and my friend!) had done all the prep work in advance to make it easy for even a novice scrapbooker. The lovely women at my party ranged in age from 13 to somewhere just barely into her fifties (you know who you are!). And because it is true that I am all about the food, we had the most delicious cupcakes for dessert from Somethin’ Sweet in Sanford (check out her Facebook page for daily flavors and specials). My guests even let me bore them with my talk about my Book of Fifty (the scrapbook I am working on for my 5oth birthday year).
I had the best time ever. Thank you, everybody.
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The Hunger Games
16 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in family, friends, local fun, movies Tags: kids movies that appeal to adults, movies, The Hunger Games, The Lottery by Ray Bradbury
I went to see The Hunger Games last Saturday night with my daughter and her friend. I did not read any of the books in the trilogy (really) and didn’t have any clue about what to expect. My daughter had read some of the book and her friend had read all of it (actually, her friend had read all of the trilogy). Most of the women I know had read at least the first book.
I really had no interest in them, and I am a reader, so my family and friends were very surprised. But hey, it’s not like it’s the Twilight Series (yes, have read all of those books and seen all of those movies; go Edward!).
So, if there is anyone out there besides me who hasn’t been initiated, The Hunger Games is pretty disturbing. It’s kind of like Survivor, except that the losers all get killed. The beginning of the movie reminded me of the Ray Bradbury story, The Lottery. Remember that? The town’s folk all come out to see who wins the lottery, and the winner gets stoned to death by the crowd.
In The Hunger Games, the crowd usually gets to watch all but one of the 24 contestants get killed on Prime Time TV; it’s an annual event. Grossed out yet? One good thing: the blood and gore (knife slashings, neck breakings, and the like) are distorted by a trick of the camera, so you know what’s happening, but you don’t get the full brutal effect. My son (who works at The Wells Five Star Cinema) enlightened me about this: it’s so the movie can get its PG-13 rating. Works for me.
There were more adults in the theater than kids, so clearly these stories appeal to adults. The verdict? We three (a 49 year old and two 13 year olds) all liked it…so we gave it Three Thumbs Up!
Go see it!
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After the fall
15 Apr 2012 3 Comments
in family, friends, Karen's Kitchen, Midlife Crisis, the beach Tags: accident, broken glass, daughters, family, friends, pyrex mixing bowls, sons, walking at the beach
I had a disaster in my kitchen today. I was lifting down some big Pyrex mixing bowls from a shelf, something I’ve done dozens and dozens of times. Something I do almost every day. I was lifting them down to put one back in the stack. As I brought the stack down to the counter, suddenly I heard a crash. I think I heard it before I realized what happened. One moment I was lowering the bowls to the counter, then next moment I had no bowls in my hands and there were millions of pieces of glass covering every inch of my kitchen counter, floor, and my feet.
I was shaking, so I just stood there for a minute while I took stock and tried to breathe. I know that cuts don’t hurt at first, so I was looking for blood to see how bad the damage was. Unbelievably, all of the cuts, and they were few, were superficial.
The damage to the Pyrex was worse: My 2 favorites bowls were broken: the large yellow and the large Amish.
I told my daughter and her friend to stay in her room. I realized my son was home so I called him. “I need help.” He said, “Give me a minute,” then came up, looked around, asked me if I was okay, then got to work. I would like to say that he helped me clean it up, but really, he cleaned it all up while I picked up shards of glass then put them back down again, still too shaken up to do much at all.
I thought of all that while I was walking on the beach later on this morning. I looked at the ocean and thought: The ocean makes everything better.
I was wrong though. After a few moments, I realized this: Family and friends make everything better. I lost nothing. I have everything.
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Twins!
14 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in family, Midlife Crisis, quest for the best, relationships Tags: decorating, furniture, hand me downs, new couch, refinished furniture
My husband and I bought a new couch this month to replace the one we had that was older than our firstborn. How old do you think it was? (Hint: the firstborn son is turning 21 this year).
Of course, we have purchased some new furniture over the years, but our decorating style has been largely yard sale finds and hand-me-downs from relatives, most of whom are long gone. The TV sits on a cabinet that used to house a TV set (remember those?). My husband gutted it and refinished the wood and it’s been in every house we’ve ever owned. I love it.
The coffee table has recently been handed over to our son. It also was hand finished by my husband and is beautiful (Son! Use coasters!). We have a small side table that was my grandmother’s and has a sort of usual design that is perfect for holding books. It used to be perfect for holding videos (remember those? That’s how long we’ve had that table).
The point is this: we value our furniture and keep it for a long time. When we got the new couch and replace the old one, we kept the two mismatched floor lamps that flanked it. One was from a yard sale and one we bought at Target, I think. After living with the new set up for a couple of weeks my husband said, “Let’s get two floor lamps that match for once. Can we do that?”
We could. We did. It’s…restful to have some matching furniture.
P.S. Surprise! One lamp went to our son, and the other one went to our daughter.
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Maine Women Write Book Club at Kennebooks
13 Apr 2012 1 Comment
in (it's all about the) food Tags: Maine Women Write Book Club, Shonna Milliken Humprhey, Show Me Good Land
I read this book in advance for the Maine Women Write book club at Kennebooks. It started off with a man in a prison cell. Not what I was expecting! From the cover of the book I thought it was going to be a story about farming or something, and there were some parts about farming, eventually, but it is really about relationships. This book is set way up north in Maine, in a trailer park mostly. There are multiple characters introduced right from the start so here’s two words of advice: pay attention! Do not get distracted or allow your mind to wander off or fairly soon enough you won’t know what the heck is going on. The author takes you inside the heads of all these people in brief snippets and that is how the story is told. She somehow makes even the dispicable characters human and interesting, so that you like them all enough to keep reading. There is a murder thrown in, and this mystery also moves the story forward at a good clip. You will want to know how it all turns out and so you will not want to put the book down. You’ll be able to finish it fairly quickly because this is not a wordy book. The author gets her ideas across to you in few words, telling the story more in the spaces between the words, in what is not said as much as what is, right through to the ending. You aren’t explicitly told what is going to happen, but you just KNOW…you figure it out from what is and is not said. I loved this book and I think that you will too. The author, Shonna Milliken Humphrey, attended the Maine Women Write Book Club at Kennebooks last night and I’ll just say this: If you have the chance to attend any talk that Shonna is giving, GO!
