Rocks rock!

crystalsConfession: I love rocks.

I always have. When I was a girl, I collected rocks in shoe boxes which I shoved under my bed. Full disclosure: I also did this with salamanders.


Recently, I was at a (free!!) Crystals Workshop (at the Portsmouth Regional Hospital! I know!) and I had an epiphany. Crystals are just fancy rocks!  Rocks that come in beautiful shapes and colors!

So, now, I love crystals, too.

I read that sleeping with certain crystals near your bed (like clear quartz, rose quartz, amethyst, others) could facilitate having more vivid dreams and promote dream recall.

So, I put some on my nightstand.  Clear quartz, rose quartz, a moonstone, and pink something or other.

At first, nothing happened. Then I kicked it up a notch: I started using different combinations of crystals. Moved them around a little. Moved them closer to my bed.
And then I forgot about them.

On the third night, I realized that I’d had vivid dreams (with bright colors! and some of my dead relatives showed up!) 3 nights in a row. I also  had 3 dreams that I could remember from the same night.

I’m wondering about the significance of that number 3 now…

Be brave; give it a try! I’d love to hear how it works for you!




The day I ate whatever I wanted

starbucksWhen I read the title of this book by Elizabeth Berg, The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted, I thought, YESSSSS!!!! That’s all I want! To eat whatever I want! So in honor of my birthday month, I did that today. Full disclosure: I was using food to comfort myself because I had to work the day before, on Mother’s Day. You know. Again. Solace eating. I’m on it.

I started with, believe it or not, a bowl of Cheerios and milk, with a banana (the revered food of Minions everywhere!) cut up in it. Hello, childhood. I have been craving this meal lately, for some reason. I’m going with it.

Then I had a chocolate croissant (Him: Do you want me to heat it up? Me: Yes! Yes, Please!) from Starbucks at the mall.  This was completely unplanned! I was going to get a Tiramisu Frappuccino, but then I heard the croissants calling my name. How could I let them down?

Next I had Maple Roasted Butternut Squash soup from Kamasouptra. With the tag line: Steamy. Hot. Soup. Really?kamasouptra  The best thing about Kamasouptra Soup is the (steamy, hot) roll that comes with it. Once you’ve had it, you’ll want it again. And again. Hey, maybe that could be another (racy)slogan for them..? :)

Mid-afternoon, I got hungry again (I know, right?). On my way to get a healthy snack (an apple) from the fridge, I remembered that I picked up a whole wheat wild blueberry muffin from New Morning Natural Foods new-ish Kennebunk Deli earlier new morningin the day. If you get one, here’s a tip: zap it for 20-30 seconds in the microwave before you eat it. You’re welcome.

Finally, I picked my daughter up from track, and she asked that question that daughters everywhere have been asking their mothers for centuries. “Mom, what’s for supper?”

I had no idea.
She noticed my hesitation and knew an opportunity when she saw it. “Let’s get Chinese! Like you wanted to yesterday! For Mother’s Day!” Okay, so you know.

She had me at Mother’s Day.

We went to Maple Leaves. I forgot to take a picture of our food, but I did take a (blurry) picture of my fortune.


My daughter was all over this, because I’m getting ready to either a) find an agent to sell my book or b) publish it myself.

Hey, any and all signs are welcome here.


Missing my mother

IMG_3330It’s Mother’s Day, and I am missing my mother.

My mother died. Nineteen years ago. Sometimes I am embarrassed by the tears that can suddenly overtake me when I realize that I am still missing her so much. Really? At almost 53 years old?


Sometimes the emotion sneaks up on me so fast and is so strong that it takes my breath away. But it’s been so long, I think. I shouldn’t still feel so bad, I think.

The truth is that I didn’t appreciate her enough while she was still alive. I left her in a million ways before she left me.

Now that I am the mother in this complicated mother-daughter algorithm, I have insights that I lacked then. It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized all the ways that my mother was there for me that I didn’t even know about.

We are connected forever to our mothers. My mother carried me inside of her, and now I carry her inside of me. Whenever I wonder if she is still with me, I get a huge rush of feeling-love?- that assures me of her continued presence in my life. Just like when she was still alive, she is always as close as I will allow her to be.


TWC is the Devil

IMG_2965I hate TWC. I am making the equivalent of a car payment to them every month for my “Triple Play” bundle, and you know what I am getting for all that money? Crappy equipment that malfunctions every day and is practically disposable. I am driving to the TWC office at least bimonthly to swap out my DVR box, my other cable boxes, my computer modem.

I am getting intermittent internet, despite the fact that I am paying extra for the “Turbo” (cool name, right? It sucks. It’s meaningless. It should be called “Spot”, for the spotty connection that it delivers). I get static-y phone reception when I’m on my land line. If I try to record TV programs, it’s like Roulette. Will it tape? Will it not?

I never know.

You might be thinking, “Why doesn’t she just call them to get it straightened out?”

Whenever I have done that, they remotely break something else. I hang up after up to an hour on the call with the same problem I called about, plus the new one that they created.

You might be thinking, “Why doesn’t she take her business elsewhere?” Because Southern Maine is held hostage by TWC.

Monopoly-thy name is TWC.

Woe is us. Seriously, the thought occurred to me this past week that maybe we should, you know, move.


me space mtnI went to Disney once before, in 1989 (or thereabouts). There was one ride I wanted to go on then: Space Mountain. I have no idea why, but I was fixated on it. When we got there, the first thing I did was ask where that ride was and, guess what? Space Mountain was CLOSED. Yep. I know, right? Unbelievable.

Fast forward (OMG-I just had to use a calculator to make sure this number was correct) twenty-six years to the present. Twenty-six years during which all of my friends and family were subject to hearing that story. Over and over.

And over.

I was going back to Disney with my daughter. It was her first trip there. It was her birthday present. It was all about her.

Except for this: this was all about me. I had a FastPass for us for Space Mountain. We got there. I made her take my picture in front of it. We found the FP entrance and went in. We got in line and…my daughter freaked out. She didn’t want to go on it! Now I had a moral dilemma. After twenty-six years, I was finally going to put this urban legend to rest, but am I the kind of mother would force my distraught daughter to get on a ride when she didn’t want to?

You bet I am.

The only way out of it is through it.

I think this is a good lesson for life in general.

N.B. In my defense, afterward she said it turned out to be her favorite ride at Magic Kingdom.


To boldly go, part two

bon voyageSo a funny thing happened after I decided to go to Disney with  my daughter. You know how they say that the universe starts lining up to help you when you are on the right track? Well, it’s TRUE! I saw it happen with my own eyes!
First I thought, no way can I make this happen. Then my husband Bill said, “Of course, you can do it! You’ll figure it out.”

I was nervous about arranging getting there and back. Like, which airline? How do you book a flight? How much is reasonable to pay? Which airport? Then my son Anthony and his girlfriend Hannah, my friends at work (you know who you are!! Thank you!!!), gave me information that helped make this whole process easy.
I was overwhelmed with the thought of figuring out where to stay. My brother Patrick and his wife Andrea came through for me big time with this too, offering to let us stay at their amazing time share.

How would we get to the airport in time for our flight? We would have to get there by, oh, 6am or so and the airport is an hour and a half away. Also, I am directionally challenged. I can’t read a map. What if I got lost and we missed our flight? Then I my friend Ann said, “Hey, I want to help you and your daughter with your trip to Disney.” It turns out that she can see the airport from where she lives. She offered to let us come down the night before, eat dinner and stay over at her house, and then she would drive us to and from the airport on our departure and return days.

My friends Cindy and Laura offered to help in as well with anything else we might need. I am sorry if I have not named everyone who came forward. I appreciate you all!

My coworkers surprised me with a card with money to have a meal on them. Thank you Lynn, Christine, Charlotte, Lori, Laurie, Catherine, Pauline, Annette, Therese, Patti, Barbara, Carol, Sue, and Sheila. :)

Almost forgot: Shawna, thank you for the maps! And your advice!  :)

I have no words.

To boldly go, part one

disney blog 1My daughter has been asking to go to Disney since she was about 9 years old. I would always listen to her ask, nod, smile, and say that tried and true line that I’d borrowed from my own mother: “We’ll see.” I got away with that for, oh, 5 years or so. Five years during which she watched many of her friends go to Disney. Five  years during which she watched her older brother go to Disney (in fairness, I never took him either-he was an adult and paid his own way when he went). Five years during which she got older and smarter and my “We’ll see” was starting to fall a little flat, even to my own ears.

A few years ago, she changed her tack; instead of asking to go, she started asking to go for her sixteenth birthday. That changed the game completely. That was a line in the sand. “We’ll see” is timeless, fluid, eternal. “By my sixteenth birthday” was a finish line. I stopped saying, “We’ll see” to my daughter and started thinking, “What if…?” to myself.

Since my one word this year is ‘brave’, the ‘what if’s’ have become more insistent. So what if I haven’t been on a plane in, oh, 25 years or so? So what if my vacation hours at work are precious and few? My daughter will only turn sixteen once. So what if park passes cost more than the airfare? So what if we live far away from an airport with a direct flight to where we are going? So what if the idea of getting us there and back is, um, terrifying?

We’re going.

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